Blij to issue Fatwas in your masjids. Thij ij haraam. There can be no Love petween countries. True love ij only bossiple petween a mullah and hij goat.
Thursday, December 31, 2009
Thursday, December 17, 2009
SooSai Vest
before I left the house
I told my son
that evening
I was going
to the First Artillery Force Madarssa of Engineering
to talk to a group of students learning how to make soosai vests
about poetry
I told him: what you have to do
is behave yourself
and stay put
until your mother gets home
that evening
after I’d gone
my son must have been confused
he couldn’t figure out
how his father
who could only talk about poetry
had the right
to go and lecture
people who would one day be making soosai vests
soosai vests were so awesome
while poetry was stuff like
“Before my bed there is bright moonlight . . .”*
three hours later
when I got back
my wife was already home
my son was still not in bed
he asked me
if I had seen any soosai vests
no, I said, and added:
I had seen the money and that was fine
I handed him
an envelope given to me by a colonel
he counted the money in it
then said to me
next time, go and give a talk
to people making Atim Bums
they’re sure to give you even more
AoA
I told my son
that evening
I was going
to the First Artillery Force Madarssa of Engineering
to talk to a group of students learning how to make soosai vests
about poetry
I told him: what you have to do
is behave yourself
and stay put
until your mother gets home
that evening
after I’d gone
my son must have been confused
he couldn’t figure out
how his father
who could only talk about poetry
had the right
to go and lecture
people who would one day be making soosai vests
soosai vests were so awesome
while poetry was stuff like
“Before my bed there is bright moonlight . . .”*
three hours later
when I got back
my wife was already home
my son was still not in bed
he asked me
if I had seen any soosai vests
no, I said, and added:
I had seen the money and that was fine
I handed him
an envelope given to me by a colonel
he counted the money in it
then said to me
next time, go and give a talk
to people making Atim Bums
they’re sure to give you even more
AoA
Monday, December 14, 2009
Bostcard from the Edge (of civilization)
Diyar Mullahs,
Blij to maaf karo laang absenj phrom Plog. I waj with Mullah Wahamullah in a Phata-phut tour of FATA.
I have dekho some peautifool lands and even more peautifool goats. However, Bakistani Fauj is engaging in haraam activity. Even so, our birathers are busy placing Welcome Mats all along the roads. Phor some reason, they are digging holes and placing these mats underground.
I poocho Wahamullah and he said, "It ij phor IED Mubarak". I don't samjho put the great Mullah (Goats Pe Ubon Him) ij naat alwayj eejee to understand.
We witnessed some extensive building improvements underway in schools for wimmens. So far, brogress is good. The demolition phase of the work is niyarly comblete. Wahamullah sej that I don't samjho again -- the entire broject ij niyarly comblete. The great Mullah (Beard May Grow on Him) did not exblain.
We also dekho the national Bird of FATA. It waj flying very high in aasmaan. The biratherj told us that some timej the bird sends fire phrom the sky. I don't pelieve it put Wahamullah sej "petter pelieve it chotae, or the Drone will vijit you at night". Again the great Mullah (Fatwas May Isuue from Him) sboke in riddles.
Thij ij it phor this letter. Next week I will rebort on Waziristan.
Many Salaams,
Abdul Al-Okullah
Blij to maaf karo laang absenj phrom Plog. I waj with Mullah Wahamullah in a Phata-phut tour of FATA.
I have dekho some peautifool lands and even more peautifool goats. However, Bakistani Fauj is engaging in haraam activity. Even so, our birathers are busy placing Welcome Mats all along the roads. Phor some reason, they are digging holes and placing these mats underground.
I poocho Wahamullah and he said, "It ij phor IED Mubarak". I don't samjho put the great Mullah (Goats Pe Ubon Him) ij naat alwayj eejee to understand.
We witnessed some extensive building improvements underway in schools for wimmens. So far, brogress is good. The demolition phase of the work is niyarly comblete. Wahamullah sej that I don't samjho again -- the entire broject ij niyarly comblete. The great Mullah (Beard May Grow on Him) did not exblain.
We also dekho the national Bird of FATA. It waj flying very high in aasmaan. The biratherj told us that some timej the bird sends fire phrom the sky. I don't pelieve it put Wahamullah sej "petter pelieve it chotae, or the Drone will vijit you at night". Again the great Mullah (Fatwas May Isuue from Him) sboke in riddles.
Thij ij it phor this letter. Next week I will rebort on Waziristan.
Many Salaams,
Abdul Al-Okullah
Thursday, November 19, 2009
Pindigenoujly Develobed Anti Miscreant Equipment
In a bositive develobment, Pakistani dephenje scientists have 200,000 percent pindigenously develobed anti miscreant detection devijes. Thij phollows in the gloriouj phootsteps oph the pindigenous satellite develobment that made us 400 per cent better than Yindia. Theje devijes have been imborted phrom China in a joint development contract and ishtamped "Made in Pakistan", ujing ishamps aljo made in China. The devijes, manufactured by Foonk-Zundri industries in China, were bought phor cash, just like the satellite, and will help in catching miscreants in Waziristan and Swat.
The device comej in three formj. The jernailist verjion, called "Nuttybaranoia V1" consists oph a red color reciever to be worn over the head and a transparent detector to be worn over the face and can sbot RAW, CIA, Mossad, Yindoo, Yankee, Joo agints. Pakistanis, taalipaan, and patriotic terrorists are not detected or seen by theje devijes.
Zaid Hamid Demojtrating the Kanspeerajy Detection Devije in phorm of Lal topi and eye glasses. He can spot Joo, RAW, CIA, Mossad and Yindu agints everywhere.
There ij aljo a military verjion, in the phorm of a face mask which looks like a constibated baboon, called "Baghdad Bob V2" which haj better detection and can aljo detect common medical conditions oph Pakistani citijens. Thij waj demonstrated by Athar Abbas, who saw bodies, some with torture marks and some with limbs tied and a bullet in the neck and head, on the roads of Mingora and immediately said "These beepuls have died oph old age".
Athar Abbas, ujing "Baghdad Bob V2" devije and looking at mass graves in Kukarai, Daulai and Shah Dheri village. He immediately declared "these pits are not graves but in fact fields planted by the bious and gentle Pakistani army to grow more beepuls".
The civilian high sojiety verjion, haj the ability to hide all violenje, make beepuls sing rock songs and generally not give a rat's musharraf about the beepuls dying in Peshawar. Thij comes in the phorm of a wepsite called teetar and ij called the "Summer of taalipaan hash tag V3"
The "teetar verjion" oph the devije which makes beepul declare "Oh all thij taalipaan violenje is exaggeration by west, let uj all get self righteous about it. Better than pheeling sorry phor those who died"
The device comej in three formj. The jernailist verjion, called "Nuttybaranoia V1" consists oph a red color reciever to be worn over the head and a transparent detector to be worn over the face and can sbot RAW, CIA, Mossad, Yindoo, Yankee, Joo agints. Pakistanis, taalipaan, and patriotic terrorists are not detected or seen by theje devijes.
Zaid Hamid Demojtrating the Kanspeerajy Detection Devije in phorm of Lal topi and eye glasses. He can spot Joo, RAW, CIA, Mossad and Yindu agints everywhere.
There ij aljo a military verjion, in the phorm of a face mask which looks like a constibated baboon, called "Baghdad Bob V2" which haj better detection and can aljo detect common medical conditions oph Pakistani citijens. Thij waj demonstrated by Athar Abbas, who saw bodies, some with torture marks and some with limbs tied and a bullet in the neck and head, on the roads of Mingora and immediately said "These beepuls have died oph old age".
Athar Abbas, ujing "Baghdad Bob V2" devije and looking at mass graves in Kukarai, Daulai and Shah Dheri village. He immediately declared "these pits are not graves but in fact fields planted by the bious and gentle Pakistani army to grow more beepuls".The civilian high sojiety verjion, haj the ability to hide all violenje, make beepuls sing rock songs and generally not give a rat's musharraf about the beepuls dying in Peshawar. Thij comes in the phorm of a wepsite called teetar and ij called the "Summer of taalipaan hash tag V3"
The "teetar verjion" oph the devije which makes beepul declare "Oh all thij taalipaan violenje is exaggeration by west, let uj all get self righteous about it. Better than pheeling sorry phor those who died"Wednesday, November 18, 2009
Boetry
O sweet spontaneous
Khuspoo how often have
the doting fingers of
prurient Mullahs pinched
and poked thee
has the naughty thumb
of Fauji Aphsars prodded
thy beauty.
How often have Talips taken
thee upon their scraggy knees
squeezing and buffeting thee
True to the incomparable
couch of death thy
rhythmic lover
thou answerest them only with
a lovely bray.
AoA
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
Pakistan takes prinjibled ishtand on Kerry-Lugar bill
NSN Reports: In a dramatic and unexpected develobment Pakistan has taken a prinjibled ishtand on the Kerry-Lugar legislation which tribled aid to Pakistan to 7.5 Billion dollars.
Interior minister Rehman Malik said "It ij a core part of Pakistani prinjiple to take money whenever offered and demand for more. According to our prinjibles, we will take the money and do GUPO or whatever elje is asked from us. Bakistan has decided to take thij prinjibled ishtand on money and will not budge from this ishtand." Analysts hailed the Pakistani prinjibled ishtand. It might be recalled that the legislation contained crippling brovijions that went against Pakistani national conjience and interests. Some of the crippling stipulations include
Brisling at these restrictions Pakistani Ambassador to the US, Hussain Haqquani said "Bakistan will violently oppose any restrictions and conditionalities on aid. Imbosing conditionalities indicate lack of trust, like when the US did not trust bakistanis when they made biss agreements with taalipaan. Lack of baksheesh will lead to lack of educational opportunities to Pakistanis, leading to 4th std fail jihadis who do IED mubarak all over the world. Baksheesh is needed to produce 10th std pass jihadis to do the IED mubarak. What would you rather have ? Being blown up by bakistani trained unwashed, dirty bearded jihadi or blown up by bakistani trained clean shaven, jeans clad jihadi ?".
However, certain analysists pointed out that by agreeing to these conditionalities, pakistan is letting US poke one foot, thereby getting in through the back channel of Pakistan. Analyist J. Sethi said "Some of the conditions are double speak. For example, condition no 2 means that Bakistan eventually might be forced to abandon terrorism, jihad, random bombing and killing thereby striking at the core of our nationhood. What next ? Every donor country demanding that Pakistanis dont train to bomb their countries ? Thij is unacceptable"
Prominent examiner of other people's sex lives and toilet humorist Ejaz Haider said: the strategic socio political analysis of the capital based foundation of bakistani US transactional diplomatic agreements indicate....Bliss to give more baksheesh :( !! We will GUPO for baksheesh !! Elje we will send a JDAM !!! bliss to do GUPO without telling anyone to save our H&D . If you take our H&D we will send JDAM !!! Bliss to give baksheesh !!"
An exclusive interview with Rehman Malik confirmed Pakistan's principled stand
NSN: What are the next steps ?
Rehman Malik: In accordanje with Pakistani brijibles, soon we will start comblaining about how little the money ij and demand phor more. We will aljo proceed start comblaining about how Amreeka abandoned Pakistan in time of need.
NSN: The conditions include making progress on atleast one of the 10,000 terrorism cases. Things like Mumbai.
Rehman Malik: Quasaub is not Pakistani
NSN: The conditions include removing bakistani army membership from Quetta Shura
Rehman Malik: Quetta is not in Pakistan
NSN: What about Pakistani priciples ?
Rehman Malik: Prinjibles are not in Pakistan
Interior minister Rehman Malik said "It ij a core part of Pakistani prinjiple to take money whenever offered and demand for more. According to our prinjibles, we will take the money and do GUPO or whatever elje is asked from us. Bakistan has decided to take thij prinjibled ishtand on money and will not budge from this ishtand." Analysts hailed the Pakistani prinjibled ishtand. It might be recalled that the legislation contained crippling brovijions that went against Pakistani national conjience and interests. Some of the crippling stipulations include
- Only upto 95% of the aid money can be looted by Pakistani boliticians and the army
- No Pakistani citijen can hold two ranks simultaneously (above the rank of "Commander") in Pakistani Army as well as the taalipaan
- No Pakistani Batriot should be demoted to RAA/CIA agint within 6 months
- Substantial part of aid money (no less than 0.0001%) to be devoted to ejjucation, to produce atleast one person of double digit IQ per year
- Pakistani Navy to be restrained from using their Frigates and other ships in waziristan mountains to fight against the taliban (and billing the US)
- Coups to be restricted to once every ten years
Brisling at these restrictions Pakistani Ambassador to the US, Hussain Haqquani said "Bakistan will violently oppose any restrictions and conditionalities on aid. Imbosing conditionalities indicate lack of trust, like when the US did not trust bakistanis when they made biss agreements with taalipaan. Lack of baksheesh will lead to lack of educational opportunities to Pakistanis, leading to 4th std fail jihadis who do IED mubarak all over the world. Baksheesh is needed to produce 10th std pass jihadis to do the IED mubarak. What would you rather have ? Being blown up by bakistani trained unwashed, dirty bearded jihadi or blown up by bakistani trained clean shaven, jeans clad jihadi ?".
However, certain analysists pointed out that by agreeing to these conditionalities, pakistan is letting US poke one foot, thereby getting in through the back channel of Pakistan. Analyist J. Sethi said "Some of the conditions are double speak. For example, condition no 2 means that Bakistan eventually might be forced to abandon terrorism, jihad, random bombing and killing thereby striking at the core of our nationhood. What next ? Every donor country demanding that Pakistanis dont train to bomb their countries ? Thij is unacceptable"
Prominent examiner of other people's sex lives and toilet humorist Ejaz Haider said: the strategic socio political analysis of the capital based foundation of bakistani US transactional diplomatic agreements indicate....Bliss to give more baksheesh :( !! We will GUPO for baksheesh !! Elje we will send a JDAM !!! bliss to do GUPO without telling anyone to save our H&D . If you take our H&D we will send JDAM !!! Bliss to give baksheesh !!"
An exclusive interview with Rehman Malik confirmed Pakistan's principled stand
NSN: What are the next steps ?
Rehman Malik: In accordanje with Pakistani brijibles, soon we will start comblaining about how little the money ij and demand phor more. We will aljo proceed start comblaining about how Amreeka abandoned Pakistan in time of need.
NSN: The conditions include making progress on atleast one of the 10,000 terrorism cases. Things like Mumbai.
Rehman Malik: Quasaub is not Pakistani
NSN: The conditions include removing bakistani army membership from Quetta Shura
Rehman Malik: Quetta is not in Pakistan
NSN: What about Pakistani priciples ?
Rehman Malik: Prinjibles are not in Pakistan
Monday, November 16, 2009
Motion Passed on Wimmens in Barliament
In a revolutionary develobment, members of bakistani NA todin passed motion in the parl-e-ment. The motion panned all domestic violenje. Wimmens will no longer suffer in Bakistan. This new law was hailed by analysts and bakistani citijens are a huge progress towards ending wimmens suffrage in bakistan.
According to the bill, domestic violence includes — but is not limited to — ‘all intentional acts of gender-based or other physical or psychological abuse committed by an accused against women, children or other vulnerable persons, with whom the accused person is or has been in a domestic relationship’. Brime minister Gilani who said "Bliss to note, all apuse where the accused is not is a domestic relationship is not covered by the law" and said "youtupe videos cannot be ujed as evidenje". He aljo added "Squeezing ij not apuse"
Brime minister Gilani said that any wimmens who have peen abujed need only pring 4 witnesses to the court to give testimony against the man. To prevent misuje of this law, a provision has peen made whereby any wimmens who do false allegation can be stoned; except in cases where blasphemy can be proved, in which case the wimmens will be burned. To further prevent misuje, this law will not be applicable in FATA, NWFP, Azad Cashmere, Blochistan, armed phorjes in blochistan, doctor wimmens who work in blochistan, Parts of Krachi, Mohallas with Pashtun majority, Injide the farms owned by feudals, to Mullahs, Munir Akram, during brotests or taalipaan jirga handing out stribes in Swat. To brotect bakistani culture and traditional vocations, beepuls in punjab, karo kari, nanha peachy bottomed mujahids in madrassas and animal huspandry will be exempt. On being asked about the law, interior minister Rehman malik said "Animal huspandry is not covered becauje Kushpoo ij not considered to be a vulnerable berson, becauje kushpoo ij not a berson". Analysts say that thij law will strengthen the hand of gilani, becauje ten perjenti's appeal to add an exception to Sarah Palin was rebuffed.
In a reaction to this law, the bakistani association phor bractising hanaar and domejtic apuse of wimmens---which claims 400% membership of Bakistani men--quickly changed its name to Tehreek-e-beatings-e-motorma-al-kanadian-vija. The supreme court declared Tehreek-e-beatings-e-motorma-al-kanadian-vija to pe legal as only the bakistani association phor bractising hanaar and domejtic apuse of wimmens was panned. Munir Akram filed a amicus-curae briefing that diplomats, diplomatic and consulatory purposes like ijjuing travel papers and vijas were exempt from this law. Commenting on thij develobment, Madam Mazari said "Thij ij a YYY kanspeeracy to destroy our bakistani values and introduce alien concepts to us like bollywood music, civility and respect for wimmens". Ejaz Haider added "Thij is a landmark event in Bakistani polity, comprable to the rejent development of Swat Bolis wearing pants. With bolis wearing pants and abuje of wimmens law, India bakistan now equal equal". He aljo added "To the regular readers of this column: Here is todin's quota of my toilet humor: Mijjile, poo, Mijjile, Mijjile, poo joke he he".
According to the bill, domestic violence includes — but is not limited to — ‘all intentional acts of gender-based or other physical or psychological abuse committed by an accused against women, children or other vulnerable persons, with whom the accused person is or has been in a domestic relationship’. Brime minister Gilani who said "Bliss to note, all apuse where the accused is not is a domestic relationship is not covered by the law" and said "youtupe videos cannot be ujed as evidenje". He aljo added "Squeezing ij not apuse"
Brime minister Gilani said that any wimmens who have peen abujed need only pring 4 witnesses to the court to give testimony against the man. To prevent misuje of this law, a provision has peen made whereby any wimmens who do false allegation can be stoned; except in cases where blasphemy can be proved, in which case the wimmens will be burned. To further prevent misuje, this law will not be applicable in FATA, NWFP, Azad Cashmere, Blochistan, armed phorjes in blochistan, doctor wimmens who work in blochistan, Parts of Krachi, Mohallas with Pashtun majority, Injide the farms owned by feudals, to Mullahs, Munir Akram, during brotests or taalipaan jirga handing out stribes in Swat. To brotect bakistani culture and traditional vocations, beepuls in punjab, karo kari, nanha peachy bottomed mujahids in madrassas and animal huspandry will be exempt. On being asked about the law, interior minister Rehman malik said "Animal huspandry is not covered becauje Kushpoo ij not considered to be a vulnerable berson, becauje kushpoo ij not a berson". Analysts say that thij law will strengthen the hand of gilani, becauje ten perjenti's appeal to add an exception to Sarah Palin was rebuffed.
In a reaction to this law, the bakistani association phor bractising hanaar and domejtic apuse of wimmens---which claims 400% membership of Bakistani men--quickly changed its name to Tehreek-e-beatings-e-motorma-al-kanadian-vija. The supreme court declared Tehreek-e-beatings-e-motorma-al-kanadian-vija to pe legal as only the bakistani association phor bractising hanaar and domejtic apuse of wimmens was panned. Munir Akram filed a amicus-curae briefing that diplomats, diplomatic and consulatory purposes like ijjuing travel papers and vijas were exempt from this law. Commenting on thij develobment, Madam Mazari said "Thij ij a YYY kanspeeracy to destroy our bakistani values and introduce alien concepts to us like bollywood music, civility and respect for wimmens". Ejaz Haider added "Thij is a landmark event in Bakistani polity, comprable to the rejent development of Swat Bolis wearing pants. With bolis wearing pants and abuje of wimmens law, India bakistan now equal equal". He aljo added "To the regular readers of this column: Here is todin's quota of my toilet humor: Mijjile, poo, Mijjile, Mijjile, poo joke he he".
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
Allah aapka bhalu kare... (moojical edishan)
Rejently, in the LMU mushy-aria rooms, the following strain baj heard by LMU Skolar Roh Ul Shukl Al Gebri, adapted phrom haraam gana of Mullah Biryani Adumj.
To reelly luv a bhalu
To undarstaand him
You've got To kno whatz deep inside (the kave)
Heear ebery screem, see ebery paw
An just giv into him when he bants To bite
An bhen joo phind yuarselph lying helpless in hij arrrrms
Joo kno joo really luuuuuuuvvved a bhalu…
(Charas:)
When joo luv a bhalu
Joo tel him he’j reely wantd
When joo luv a bhalu
Joo tel him dat he’j da von
He needj somebaaady
To tell him itz nat gonna laaaaaaast phoreber
So tel me hab joo eber reely
Reely, reely eber luuuuuuuuvvved a bhalu….
To reely luv a bhalu
To LeT him hold joo
Til joo know he needj Ashaa (dinner)
Joo gotta LeT him breeth joo
An let him tast joo
Unteel joo kan feel him in jour blaad…
Bhen joo kan see jour unphinished jeehard in hij eyej
Than joo kno joo reely luuuuuuuuvvved a bhalu...
So tel me hab joo eber reely
Reely, reely eber luuuuuuuuvvved a bhalu….
Ting, tang, tang, ting, tong, tooooong...
Reely…. Reely…. eber luuuuuuuuvvved……………………………. a bhalu
sniph, sniph...
sniph, sniph...
The End (reelly reelly)
(Klap klap)
To reelly luv a bhalu
To undarstaand him
You've got To kno whatz deep inside (the kave)
Heear ebery screem, see ebery paw
An just giv into him when he bants To bite
An bhen joo phind yuarselph lying helpless in hij arrrrms
Joo kno joo really luuuuuuuvvved a bhalu…
(Charas:)
When joo luv a bhalu
Joo tel him he’j reely wantd
When joo luv a bhalu
Joo tel him dat he’j da von
He needj somebaaady
To tell him itz nat gonna laaaaaaast phoreber
So tel me hab joo eber reely
Reely, reely eber luuuuuuuuvvved a bhalu….
To reely luv a bhalu
To LeT him hold joo
Til joo know he needj Ashaa (dinner)
Joo gotta LeT him breeth joo
An let him tast joo
Unteel joo kan feel him in jour blaad…
Bhen joo kan see jour unphinished jeehard in hij eyej
Than joo kno joo reely luuuuuuuuvvved a bhalu...
So tel me hab joo eber reely
Reely, reely eber luuuuuuuuvvved a bhalu….
Ting, tang, tang, ting, tong, tooooong...
Reely…. Reely…. eber luuuuuuuuvvved……………………………. a bhalu
sniph, sniph...
sniph, sniph...
The End (reelly reelly)
(Klap klap)
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
Breaking Neuj: Diplomacy sought as a solution
NSN Islamabad (lede): LMU, Isloo, the nations premier institution on theology and AK phyrring, has condemmed today's terrorist attack on peace loving Kashmiris. LMU has also given a fatwa calling for all bears (and hirsute animals like Rehman Malik and Shrileen Mazari) as Raw, Mossad and CIA operatives. They claim that there is a Yankee-Yehudi-Yindoo (YYY Axis) conspiracyafoot. Major Jarnail Otter Abass says that there is now "concrete" proof of Indian involvement in terrorist attacks
Update 1: Reports are coming in that the Pakistan Army is trying to sign a peace teaty with all bears. Like Nobel LauratePresident Obama of USA, Pakistan President Zardari had also decided to host a bear summit. More as it breaks...
This is NSN
Update 1: Reports are coming in that the Pakistan Army is trying to sign a peace teaty with all bears. Like Nobel LauratePresident Obama of USA, Pakistan President Zardari had also decided to host a bear summit. More as it breaks...
This is NSN
Two moojahids embrace shahadat
LMU Bojitive Neuj Desk, Indian Held Cashmere: Peace loving, bious freedom fighters of charity organisation Lashkur-e-Taiba, Bashir and Mohammad, who had gone phor jeehard against the koopher in kashmir, went up a hill to a cave caamplex to promate biraderly love. Before they could dijplay their superior downhill skiing skiilj, they were captured py a short, dark rice eating bear in the cave aj they went. The bear told them that they would pe punished phor coming into hij cave camplex. But pecauje they were tall, fair and tight musharaffed moojahids, they were allowed to chooj their bunishment.
The choices were GUBO or Shahadat.
Bashir waj the phirst to go, and in true brave bakistani istyle he choje GUBO. Misphortunately, the GUBO was so severe that he attained Shahadat.
Now it waj Mohammad's turn. Very mindphul oph what had happened to Bashir he decided to chooj direct Shahadat instead oph GUBO so that he would go to djannat with pride.
The pear aggreed and pronounced hij punishment
"GUBO till Shahadat"
Daan neuj also haj story
(Bith inpoots fram NSN Reborter n LMU grajooate Saguddin Peshawari)
The choices were GUBO or Shahadat.
Bashir waj the phirst to go, and in true brave bakistani istyle he choje GUBO. Misphortunately, the GUBO was so severe that he attained Shahadat.
Now it waj Mohammad's turn. Very mindphul oph what had happened to Bashir he decided to chooj direct Shahadat instead oph GUBO so that he would go to djannat with pride.
The pear aggreed and pronounced hij punishment
"GUBO till Shahadat"
Daan neuj also haj story
(Bith inpoots fram NSN Reborter n LMU grajooate Saguddin Peshawari)
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
A Lament
When eye was a nanha moojahid
looking at me khuspoo eye asked
what will eye be what will eye be
will eye be a Rakitmard, will eye
be gilly-al-gropper, will eye be 20%
que sera sera
what will be will be
da future is not ours to see
when eye was a nanha Mulla yat LMU
eye asked me mulla
what will eye try what will eye try
shall eye try soosai vesti,
shall eye try Khuspoo rearing
shall eye try GUPO
this was his wise reply
que sera sera
what will be will be
the future is not ours to see
when eye akuired me first Ayesha
eye asked her
will there be rainbow day after day
she replied
que sera sera
what will be will be
da future is not ours to see.
que sera sera
yaalla ya tow mujhe mera future bata dey
nahi tow itna lamba mijjile dey ki mai apna
GUPO khud kar loo
que sera sera.
Salam
Monday, October 26, 2009
Ode to the Land of Pure
O give me a home, where the Predators roam
Where the goats and the moo-jahids play
Where ebery man, ij a raakit mard,
And wimmens are in a boorqa all day.
Oh, give me a land in the shape of a l*nd
where a man can take a kushboo to bed
Where on every square, a mijjile ij there
painted green and red.
Home, home of the strange
Where the goats and the moo-jahids play
Where ebery man, ij a raakit mard,
And wimmens are in a boorqa all day
Where the goats and the moo-jahids play
Where ebery man, ij a raakit mard,
And wimmens are in a boorqa all day.
Oh, give me a land in the shape of a l*nd
where a man can take a kushboo to bed
Where on every square, a mijjile ij there
painted green and red.
Home, home of the strange
Where the goats and the moo-jahids play
Where ebery man, ij a raakit mard,
And wimmens are in a boorqa all day
Sunday, October 25, 2009
Decadence of the west, Morality and Jeehaard
Everyday when I switch on the tv, a constant stream of half clad bollywood danjers assault my senjes. If I change chanels to UK, Amreeki chanels, I get fully nakid gori wimmens. One cannot read Playboy or Hustlar without seeing the nakid wimmens between the interesting interviews and advice columns.
How can the youth of this country grow up to be bious and uncorrupted in this environment ? This pervasive moral decadence of the west is the reason for their scientific and technological stagnation over the past two centuries, while the bious have forged ahead with scientific, technological and economic progress. We should take utmost care to not fall into such a trap brought on by wejtern style decadence.
The jawab lies in revijting our culture. The culture of sexual decadence of western mens indulging in relationships with several wimmens should be shunned, and bious men should be faithful to all their 4 wiphes. The culture of treating wimmens as mere objects should be shunned and instead morality of wimmens should be protected by making sure they are properly covered, chaperoned at all times and married off at the right age, while taking care that too much education does not corrupt their wold view. No effort in monitoring and supervising the activities of wimmens should be spared, to prevent wimmens from being treated as mere possessions or objects. Punishing the wayward is an important part of this.
The bious mens who struggle aginst such decadent culture of the west will be rewarded in the afterlife with constant sensual pleasures of 72 virgins who carry out every wish, and are at the beck and call of their masters. The task is simple: Bious men should at all times think of sensuous pleasures (in the afterlife) to protect them from the temptation of decadence (in this life). Being tempted by sexual activities (in this life) might cause mens to commit violence (in this life). Instead mens should be tempted by sexual activities (in the after life) and declare jeehaard (in this life).
Saturday, October 24, 2009
NSN Press Release: Confusion reigns in Waziristan Operations
For immediate release:
SWA, October 23 (NSN): In a bizarre incident, the Pakistani army attacked a training camp in Waziristan only to discover that they were already in charge of the facility. Reliable sources say there is considerable anguish in the army over the incident. "We were watching the Hindi movie Wake Up Sid when the attack happened," said Captain Anwar, one of the injured officers from the camp. "We have been training mujahideen for over ten years in that camp. How can they make such a mistake??"
Describing the incident, Major Junaid, one of the officers who led the charge, said that the army HQ received information about a terrorist training camp from the Americans. They quickly ordered a strike group to stage an attack on the camp. The group was preparing for fireworks very close to the site when they came across a group of tribals preparing to attack the camp with rockets.
Things went quickly downhill as the tribals got excited by looking at red handkerchiefs inexplicably tied to the rifles of all soldiers. "They obviously thought we were another militia coming to attack the camp, as we are all tall, fair and good-looking," explained Major Junaid.
Encouraged by their apparent strength in numbers, the tribals launched a frontal assault on the camp. Soldiers from inside the camp returned fire. Major Junaid and his men had to then fire in self-defence. "This was the biggest case of friendly fire there ever was," said Major Junaid.
At least 50 people died in the confusion before the situation was brought under control. Attracted by gunfire, a huge number of tribals quickly descended on the scene. "In a country of cowards people would usually disperse and hide in their homes upon hearing gunfire?" joked Major Junaid. "But we belong to a martial race. We also had difficulty in identifying who is from the army and who is a tribal - as we are all tall, fair and good-looking."
The tribals wanted a public burial for their fallen men while the army wanted the tribals to arrange funeral for the dead soldiers as well. Tribal elders had to intervene and work out a compromise. They sorted the bodies in two piles, one they named 'Martyrs of Pakistan' and the other 'Martyrs of Islam'. But then the army officers angrily tried to merge both piles saying things like "Pakistan is Islam", "two-nation theory" and "raison d'etre". This led to another clash and at least 50 more people died.
American resident in Islamabad, Janab Richard Holebrook has hailed President Zardari for the incident. "We are not aware of minor details," he said. "But the bottomline is that 100 terrorists are dead, and America is safer because of that. We have to thank President Zardari for this."
Meanwhile, Pakistan's Minister for Interior spokesman Rehman Mallik said that security forces have made significant gains in SWA in the ongoing war on terror. "The army attacked a training camp today and managed to eliminate a number of terrorists," he said. "We have identified at least 100 dead foreign militants from Chechnya and Uzbekistan."
Pakistan is a staunch ally of the United States in the war on terror. Since siding with the United States, Pakistan has handed over more than 500 Al-Qaeda terrorists to coalition forces. The international prestige of Pakistan has been soaring ever since, with a return to Commonwealth, the Major Non-NATO Ally status, liberal aid from the US and loan rescheduling from international donor agencies.
SWA, October 23 (NSN): In a bizarre incident, the Pakistani army attacked a training camp in Waziristan only to discover that they were already in charge of the facility. Reliable sources say there is considerable anguish in the army over the incident. "We were watching the Hindi movie Wake Up Sid when the attack happened," said Captain Anwar, one of the injured officers from the camp. "We have been training mujahideen for over ten years in that camp. How can they make such a mistake??"
Describing the incident, Major Junaid, one of the officers who led the charge, said that the army HQ received information about a terrorist training camp from the Americans. They quickly ordered a strike group to stage an attack on the camp. The group was preparing for fireworks very close to the site when they came across a group of tribals preparing to attack the camp with rockets.
Things went quickly downhill as the tribals got excited by looking at red handkerchiefs inexplicably tied to the rifles of all soldiers. "They obviously thought we were another militia coming to attack the camp, as we are all tall, fair and good-looking," explained Major Junaid.
Encouraged by their apparent strength in numbers, the tribals launched a frontal assault on the camp. Soldiers from inside the camp returned fire. Major Junaid and his men had to then fire in self-defence. "This was the biggest case of friendly fire there ever was," said Major Junaid.
At least 50 people died in the confusion before the situation was brought under control. Attracted by gunfire, a huge number of tribals quickly descended on the scene. "In a country of cowards people would usually disperse and hide in their homes upon hearing gunfire?" joked Major Junaid. "But we belong to a martial race. We also had difficulty in identifying who is from the army and who is a tribal - as we are all tall, fair and good-looking."
The tribals wanted a public burial for their fallen men while the army wanted the tribals to arrange funeral for the dead soldiers as well. Tribal elders had to intervene and work out a compromise. They sorted the bodies in two piles, one they named 'Martyrs of Pakistan' and the other 'Martyrs of Islam'. But then the army officers angrily tried to merge both piles saying things like "Pakistan is Islam", "two-nation theory" and "raison d'etre". This led to another clash and at least 50 more people died.
American resident in Islamabad, Janab Richard Holebrook has hailed President Zardari for the incident. "We are not aware of minor details," he said. "But the bottomline is that 100 terrorists are dead, and America is safer because of that. We have to thank President Zardari for this."
Meanwhile, Pakistan's Minister for Interior spokesman Rehman Mallik said that security forces have made significant gains in SWA in the ongoing war on terror. "The army attacked a training camp today and managed to eliminate a number of terrorists," he said. "We have identified at least 100 dead foreign militants from Chechnya and Uzbekistan."
Pakistan is a staunch ally of the United States in the war on terror. Since siding with the United States, Pakistan has handed over more than 500 Al-Qaeda terrorists to coalition forces. The international prestige of Pakistan has been soaring ever since, with a return to Commonwealth, the Major Non-NATO Ally status, liberal aid from the US and loan rescheduling from international donor agencies.
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
Rahe-na-Ijjat oberation reveals Shocking inphormation-- Mujlims are minority in Bakistan, Majority of Bakistan is Joos and Yindoos !
A phoren agency monitoring newjbaper reborts in bakistan haj calculated that 99.5% of Bakistanis are Joos and Yindoos. This ij expected to be confirmed in the next bakistani census which will be held immediately over the next century. It might be recalled that in the last census (in 1981) 98% of Bakistanis were muslims. Oph the remaining 1% were booked phor Plasphemy law and could not comblete the census, and the remaining 1% were unintelligible when asked becauj they were busy.
30% of bopulation, who make up almost all of Waziristan, tripal areas and NWFP, including Baitullah are Joos. This was confirmed by the army who then urged the bious bakistanis to take up arms and fight. In return, the talipaan made the shocking revelation that all of bakistani army (another 30% of bopulation) were kuffar amreeki agints (assumed to be crijtians). All of blochistan (another 20% of bopulation) was declared to be RAAaaw agints, which was revealed to yindian brime minister in a top secret dassier brepared by Prime minijter Geelani. These RAAaaw agints are secretly born in over 100,000 yindian conjulates in Aphghanistan. The dassier was so top secret that officials denied any knawlij of the dassier
The remaining 20% of bopulation, 33% are misguided mujlims who have been prainwashed (conphirmed by analyjsts and yindian beace workers), 33% are ahmadis (who are not mujlims), 33% are phrom unmentionable religion (hint: It begins with "Shee"). Oph the orginal 100%, 25% listed their brofession as soosai bambers and part time jeeehaaardis. Since Ijlaam is religion of biss, and these beepuls are not peaceful, it must be that they are not muslims. The rest of the 5% of bakistanis were made of 3% of non-state actors, who rejide in ships in bakistani nullahs and the other 2% with family name as "Quasab" are not bakistanis. This was conphirmed by a personal communique phorm minijster of posterior, Rehman Malik.
The remaining 50.3% are wimmens, and bakistan currently doej not have the technawlaji to determine their religion
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
Jundullah is not Bakistani - Inphormation Minister Rehman Malik
Aphter the IED mubarak in Iran, the Iranian guvrmand is having a three day meeting to decide on responje and to assess who was responjible for the plast.
However, without waiting for the statement from the Guvrmand of Iran, bakistani terrorist response team swung into action. Thij team, it may be recalled is made of (former) terroijt sympathizers entrusted with protecting the image oph bakistan after every terrorijt attack in the world. This committee released a bunch of pre-emptive statements. These statements were given to various neujbapers and TV channels to use iph necessary.
There is a video clib of Prejident Zardari who smiled and said "Jundullah is not bakistani". Thij was followed by interior minijter Rehman Malik, who said "more proof is needed to prosecute the bakistani terrorists who attacked Iran. Bleaje send another dassier". Prime minister Geelani then said "Bakistan suspects a foreign hand (cough. Iranian. cough) in the rejent load shedding injidents in Krachi". Foreign minister Shah Mehmood Qureshi said that more aid waj needed (without carry-loocar conditions) to uplift the society of bakistan to avoid such injidents in future.
Meanwhile prominent analysits swung into action. Lal-tin-topi award winner Zaid Hamid said "Iranians are secret yindoos and blochis are yehudi. The Iranian's prejidents name is "Aham-in-naahi-Jat" which is a combination of Sanskrit, English, Bihari and Sikh. It is clear a kanspeerajy is being waged against bakistan". Ejaaz Hidehere pitched in and aphter making a few toilet related jokes and double entendres said "The prosecution of modern statecraft in the post magna carta era of any nation founded on the basis of modern principles of statehood demands we create hordes of unwashed apduls who terrorize our neighbors, who then can be leveraged to demand aid money from everyone" . Bakistani ambassadaor Haqqani added "Every terrorijt is a bakistani, but not all bakistanis are terrorijts, so blease to not plame Jundullah like yindia is blaming quasaub"
Breaking news:
Iranian guvrmand declared that the nationality of the bamber cannot be determined. Common bakistani apduls are dissabbointed and vowed to wage jeehard against Iranians.
However, without waiting for the statement from the Guvrmand of Iran, bakistani terrorist response team swung into action. Thij team, it may be recalled is made of (former) terroijt sympathizers entrusted with protecting the image oph bakistan after every terrorijt attack in the world. This committee released a bunch of pre-emptive statements. These statements were given to various neujbapers and TV channels to use iph necessary.
There is a video clib of Prejident Zardari who smiled and said "Jundullah is not bakistani". Thij was followed by interior minijter Rehman Malik, who said "more proof is needed to prosecute the bakistani terrorists who attacked Iran. Bleaje send another dassier". Prime minister Geelani then said "Bakistan suspects a foreign hand (cough. Iranian. cough) in the rejent load shedding injidents in Krachi". Foreign minister Shah Mehmood Qureshi said that more aid waj needed (without carry-loocar conditions) to uplift the society of bakistan to avoid such injidents in future.
Meanwhile prominent analysits swung into action. Lal-tin-topi award winner Zaid Hamid said "Iranians are secret yindoos and blochis are yehudi. The Iranian's prejidents name is "Aham-in-naahi-Jat" which is a combination of Sanskrit, English, Bihari and Sikh. It is clear a kanspeerajy is being waged against bakistan". Ejaaz Hidehere pitched in and aphter making a few toilet related jokes and double entendres said "The prosecution of modern statecraft in the post magna carta era of any nation founded on the basis of modern principles of statehood demands we create hordes of unwashed apduls who terrorize our neighbors, who then can be leveraged to demand aid money from everyone" . Bakistani ambassadaor Haqqani added "Every terrorijt is a bakistani, but not all bakistanis are terrorijts, so blease to not plame Jundullah like yindia is blaming quasaub"
Breaking news:
Iranian guvrmand declared that the nationality of the bamber cannot be determined. Common bakistani apduls are dissabbointed and vowed to wage jeehard against Iranians.
We demand Nople Brije for Frontline Al-lie Bakistan !! (without carry-loocar conditions)
Todin is a dark din (due to load shedding). Coming to practical matters, Amreeki jernail Hussain Ombaba has been given noble piss prije. What did he accomplish ?
Did he show commitment like Zulfiqr who made us all eat grass but made sure Qadeer stole the bum ? Zulfiqr's glorious achievements are hanging from a pedestal for all to see ! Did he demonstrate bersonal couraj like Begum Bhutto who refujed the bow down her head while facing a bum and chose to give up her life instead ? Did he demonstrate love of the nation like our brave jernail musharraf, who stood in the line of phyrr and refused to stop serving the nation in and out of uniform, and it took many months and effort to compel him to rest ? Did he show piety and faith like Zia who gave us a true justice system, delivering justice to any wimmens who could produce 4 witnesses ? Did he demonstrate commitment to economic advancement to do whatever it takes to bring us money like Zardari, who has brought us much more money from US than any any other country in the world (which was not invaded) ? Did he scientifically advance a nation, by showing humility to borrow the best ideas, practices and blueprints from companies and websites like Abdul Qadeer ? Did he then show magnanimity of Qadeer by spread the knowledge to everyone who asked ? Did he show the tenacity and resolve of bakistani
army, who despite repeated retreats came back again and again, and did not rest till they signed a peace treaty with the taalipaan ?
What did he actually do ? Not a single thing. The achievement of any 1 of the bakistanis above equals achievement of 8 ombabas
Our arap brothers have stolen a march over bakistanis. They have their own arafart who won the nople prije. What great injustice !
Bakistan has struggled more for the rights of oppressed people than arafart. Due to the strong and prinjibled stand, the rights of the punjabis have been protected against the marauding blochis and pashtuns by awarding punjabis their fair share of water (from the sindhis), fair share of embloyment (by embloying them in the army), their fair share of natural resources (from blochistan) and fair share of money and economic develobment (from everyone else). Suarly, pakistanis deserve a prije for protecting the right of the weak !
I probose we all declare a jeeehaaard on the nobel committee to award the next biss prize to bakistan (without carry-loocar conditions).
Added later:
A mullah brings it to my attenshun that the nopel to Ombaba waj becauj people were expecting great things from him in the future.
Well then, here is a fatwa:
JEEEHARRRRRD !!! NOBALL BRIJE FOR BILAWAL !!!!!!!!! (without carry-loocar conditions)
Sunday, October 11, 2009
Akhil Kumar not Indian : Shashi Tharoor
NSN Rebort: Refuting Bakistan's claim that Indians were involved in the attack on GHQ, Shashi Tharoor, Indian minister of external and extra marital affairs cat-e-gorically refuted the claim that Akhil Kumar was an Indian citizen. There is no body with that name in the muncipal records of HD Devegowda Nagar, Bangalore, Kerala his statement read.
Earlier, Indian neuj channel NDTV had released transcripts of an interview with Akhil Kumar's father Srinivasa Myensinkai a vegetable vendor who confessed to have sold his son to the Hindu extremist Sangh Parivar, upon further questioning he turned abusive and started mouthing words like " nimma appan ****".
Readers are reminded that it is common practice in the villages in India for families to sell their sons to the Sangh Parivar whose main aim is the destruction of Islam.
Meanwhile Akhil Kumar alias Dr Usman's wakil Gunga Din has alleged third degree torture and stated that his client was innojant.
The case has taken an interesting and international turn after Akhil's confession in which he also owned up to being a part of the team that attacked the Lankan Cricketers in Lahore. On being asked for Lankan opinion, the Sri Lankan High commisioner to Bakistan chuckled and said that the only way the Lankans could assist the probe would be to provide methuvadai and Sambar so that the flow of information from Akhil Kumar would not be interuppted by the lack of vegetarian food
more later
Earlier, Indian neuj channel NDTV had released transcripts of an interview with Akhil Kumar's father Srinivasa Myensinkai a vegetable vendor who confessed to have sold his son to the Hindu extremist Sangh Parivar, upon further questioning he turned abusive and started mouthing words like " nimma appan ****".
Readers are reminded that it is common practice in the villages in India for families to sell their sons to the Sangh Parivar whose main aim is the destruction of Islam.
Meanwhile Akhil Kumar alias Dr Usman's wakil Gunga Din has alleged third degree torture and stated that his client was innojant.
The case has taken an interesting and international turn after Akhil's confession in which he also owned up to being a part of the team that attacked the Lankan Cricketers in Lahore. On being asked for Lankan opinion, the Sri Lankan High commisioner to Bakistan chuckled and said that the only way the Lankans could assist the probe would be to provide methuvadai and Sambar so that the flow of information from Akhil Kumar would not be interuppted by the lack of vegetarian food
more later
Deadly Terrorist group Abhinav Bharat pehind terrorist attack?
Abhinav Bharath behind attack on GHQ, Karsevak and ring leader -Akhil Kumar arrested
NSN Reborts: The military released photographs of the four karsevaks killed Saturday, all young men with shreds of saffron uniforms visible on the corpses, while a bargaidyar and a leftanant-karnail were among the army dead.
He said that two soldiers and four of the hindus were killed in the hours-long rescue operation. One hindu escaped and chanted a number of mantras before being injured and arrested, he was then taken to the dakktar khana for emergency plastic surgery.
After a hour long surgery doctors were able to re-attach ISI mark evidence before the news of Akhil Kumar alias Dr Usman's arrest was made public. He has also reportedly confessed to a number of high profile attacks including impersonating Hafeez Sayeed and Ajmal Kasab
Following this development Pakistan has demanded that India be declared as a terrorist state, a demand supported by Arundathi Roy and Kuldip Nayar
NSN Reborts: The military released photographs of the four karsevaks killed Saturday, all young men with shreds of saffron uniforms visible on the corpses, while a bargaidyar and a leftanant-karnail were among the army dead.
He said that two soldiers and four of the hindus were killed in the hours-long rescue operation. One hindu escaped and chanted a number of mantras before being injured and arrested, he was then taken to the dakktar khana for emergency plastic surgery.
After a hour long surgery doctors were able to re-attach ISI mark evidence before the news of Akhil Kumar alias Dr Usman's arrest was made public. He has also reportedly confessed to a number of high profile attacks including impersonating Hafeez Sayeed and Ajmal Kasab
Following this development Pakistan has demanded that India be declared as a terrorist state, a demand supported by Arundathi Roy and Kuldip Nayar
More Braking Neuj: India rejbonjible for GHQ Pindi attack?
Breaking News: Pakistan to brake off talks with India over Rawalpindi Attack
NSN: sources confirm that Pakistani ministers at the highest level have decided that there cannot be any further peace talks with India under the current climate of terror and the latest incident of terror attacks in Rawalpindi. Dossiers are on their way, together with video and other evidence to Indian counterparts.
More news as it is made up, on the hour, every hour. This is NSN!
NSN: sources confirm that Pakistani ministers at the highest level have decided that there cannot be any further peace talks with India under the current climate of terror and the latest incident of terror attacks in Rawalpindi. Dossiers are on their way, together with video and other evidence to Indian counterparts.
More news as it is made up, on the hour, every hour. This is NSN!
Breaking Neuj: Pindi Attack (bith updates)
GHQ attack to have wide ramifications
From the desk of NSN Analyeast: Todin's GHQ attack will have wide ramifications in the coming week. It may be recalled that among the six gunmen, 4 were killed in the checkpoint, 3 escaped, two were arrested by the bolis and five took 15 hostages. Out of the 15 hostages, an oberation by the SSG freed 25 with 3 of them shaheed.
The first impact of this incident will be on Yindo-Baki relationship. Interir minister Rehman Malik said "The involvement of foreign hands cannot be ruled out. Bakistan has prepared a dassier to hand over to Yindians". Unnamed guvrmand sources revealed that the evidenje includes the fact that no Yindoo and Yehudi embloyees were in the GHQ on the day of attack. Furthermore since ijlaaam is religion of biss and since it was conclujively estabilished that it was not a bissfool incident, the attackers should have been yindu and yehudi.
The second impact will be on the power balance in the country. The GHQ attack cemented the bakistani army as the leading institution of bakistan. Common abduls on the street said "Whenever Bakistani army attacks the parliament, the civilians flee and give up power and coup happens. Now when mujahids attacked GHQ, the prave bakistani army stood firm and it took only 24 hours for bakistani army to throw them out. The country will be better ruled by the army".
A Marshall law may be imbosed becauj of the new popularity of the army.
From the desk of NSN Analyeast: Todin's GHQ attack will have wide ramifications in the coming week. It may be recalled that among the six gunmen, 4 were killed in the checkpoint, 3 escaped, two were arrested by the bolis and five took 15 hostages. Out of the 15 hostages, an oberation by the SSG freed 25 with 3 of them shaheed.
The first impact of this incident will be on Yindo-Baki relationship. Interir minister Rehman Malik said "The involvement of foreign hands cannot be ruled out. Bakistan has prepared a dassier to hand over to Yindians". Unnamed guvrmand sources revealed that the evidenje includes the fact that no Yindoo and Yehudi embloyees were in the GHQ on the day of attack. Furthermore since ijlaaam is religion of biss and since it was conclujively estabilished that it was not a bissfool incident, the attackers should have been yindu and yehudi.
The second impact will be on the power balance in the country. The GHQ attack cemented the bakistani army as the leading institution of bakistan. Common abduls on the street said "Whenever Bakistani army attacks the parliament, the civilians flee and give up power and coup happens. Now when mujahids attacked GHQ, the prave bakistani army stood firm and it took only 24 hours for bakistani army to throw them out. The country will be better ruled by the army".
A Marshall law may be imbosed becauj of the new popularity of the army.
Breaking Neuj: Pindi Attack
NSN Reborter Anjanullah waj there:
Attack on Pak-Army GHQ: A Case of Mistaken Identitiy ?
NSN Reports: Today the pakistani army GHQ came under massive attack from miscreants. Reliable reports indicate that a battered toyota pickup, of the type used by the Pak army, approached the GHQ checkpoint. The pickup had 6 bearded men, firing the AKs into the air shouting "Jeeeehaaaarrrd". Fooled by their appearance and assuming that they were Pak army regulars under deputation, they were let through. The army got an inkling of their deadly agenda only at the second checkpoint. When the bearded men did not surrender, but fired back when challenged. The guards manning the gates immediately realized that they were not typical Pak army regulars. Since the guards were outnumbered 30 to 6, they abandoned their posts and let the miscreants through. The news broke in Rawalpindi at a press conference called by interior minister Rehman Malik, who amidst the sound of gunfire and bomb explosions revealed details of the attack and claimed that the situation had ended.
However, the attack was still progressing. An early respite came to the Pakistani army when two of the miscreants, mistaking their own bearded collegues crying out "Jeeehaaard" to be top generals of the army, shot at four of their colleagues killing them. They then proceeded to take over 50 hostages. The army top brass is intensely worried about the situation, since the 50 hostages were armed to the teeth and these arms might now be used by the two miscreant hostage takers.
NSN reporters are on the scene, posting updates as the situation develops.
Attack on Pak-Army GHQ: A Case of Mistaken Identitiy ?
NSN Reports: Today the pakistani army GHQ came under massive attack from miscreants. Reliable reports indicate that a battered toyota pickup, of the type used by the Pak army, approached the GHQ checkpoint. The pickup had 6 bearded men, firing the AKs into the air shouting "Jeeeehaaaarrrd". Fooled by their appearance and assuming that they were Pak army regulars under deputation, they were let through. The army got an inkling of their deadly agenda only at the second checkpoint. When the bearded men did not surrender, but fired back when challenged. The guards manning the gates immediately realized that they were not typical Pak army regulars. Since the guards were outnumbered 30 to 6, they abandoned their posts and let the miscreants through. The news broke in Rawalpindi at a press conference called by interior minister Rehman Malik, who amidst the sound of gunfire and bomb explosions revealed details of the attack and claimed that the situation had ended.
However, the attack was still progressing. An early respite came to the Pakistani army when two of the miscreants, mistaking their own bearded collegues crying out "Jeeehaaard" to be top generals of the army, shot at four of their colleagues killing them. They then proceeded to take over 50 hostages. The army top brass is intensely worried about the situation, since the 50 hostages were armed to the teeth and these arms might now be used by the two miscreant hostage takers.
NSN reporters are on the scene, posting updates as the situation develops.
Sunday, October 4, 2009
Bojitibe Kirket Neuj
AoA yand asssalamalaykum, last raat Bakistan lost to Kuffar Noozeeland, in a very Bojitibe manner. Since Bakistan kirkit eej
onlee to beat Yindia,yand eet has akomplished eet mission, derephore
to preserve Baki Dollah so dat Bakese kan kontinue to import ghass da team management decided to give da match to da kuffars.
Da public roona-dhoona seen eej just deekhawa, to preserve da yeh & Dee oph da kuffar Keewee.
Salam
Friday, September 11, 2009
LMU Brofessors are recognijed bhorld ober in Bakistan
Diyar Biraders, AoA!
Bhe have bojitive newj on Fridin today
LMU mein sabka jhanda (and danda) oopar rahe!
Bhe have bojitive newj on Fridin today
LMU mein sabka jhanda (and danda) oopar rahe!
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
The Ishtory oph a Gola
There once was a Mushy with an ash very tight
He could simply bend over and win every fight
Came visiting to Lahore, was an old Bania kafir
Extended his hand, but the General didn't stir
In the shadows of snow, He climbed up Kargil
When his ash got whupped, He skied Downhill
Amritraj barked orders in an Amreekan accent
Dictator got greased up four hundred percent
He suspended a Judge and became the President
Installed a Short-cut PM, banker non-resident
Came election season and the Bibi got blown
CJ came calling with some balls he had grown
Kiyani sent him packing to his home in exile
He now sits in London, a-stewing in his bile
Monday, September 7, 2009
Bredator Bosing aj Reborter?
Diyar Jirga,
Blij pe advijed that a bredator ij coming with das pooch.
Wahamullah haj learned that the bredator ij a wimmens, yani ki janaanaa. Blij make sure to check under burqa phor id-e-ntity.
Hij salaah phor all mullaj ij to pe habby with khushboo. No bredator will imbersonate khushboo.
Salaams,
Al-Okullah
Blij pe advijed that a bredator ij coming with das pooch.
Wahamullah haj learned that the bredator ij a wimmens, yani ki janaanaa. Blij make sure to check under burqa phor id-e-ntity.
Hij salaah phor all mullaj ij to pe habby with khushboo. No bredator will imbersonate khushboo.
Salaams,
Al-Okullah
Monday, August 31, 2009
Thursday, August 20, 2009
Bredator-e-Drone-a-Charya are coming
Mullah Gadhan,
Joo pring some deadly neuj. Ij the houri in this neuj ahter our id-e-ntity:
http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/story?id=8359356
Theej are bhery khatarnaak timej phor Mullahs. Blij to convene phor Shura in Cave Numper 420.
Joo pring some deadly neuj. Ij the houri in this neuj ahter our id-e-ntity:
http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/story?id=8359356
Theej are bhery khatarnaak timej phor Mullahs. Blij to convene phor Shura in Cave Numper 420.
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
Appeal.
Diyar all,
AoA
Asslamalaykum,
Todin i got a daak-e-bijjli asking apout
residents maulanas yand Amirs yand Ayotollahs.
Now iph eet was apout ayeshas, eet would hape been
narmal. Eet asksj sekrets, which eye say eej
blasphemous!!!!
pliss to issue broper fatwa.
AoA
Asslamalaykum,
Todin i got a daak-e-bijjli asking apout
residents maulanas yand Amirs yand Ayotollahs.
Now iph eet was apout ayeshas, eet would hape been
narmal. Eet asksj sekrets, which eye say eej
blasphemous!!!!
pliss to issue broper fatwa.
Friday, August 7, 2009
List-e-twittur!
Aao tweet karein:
http://twitter.com/Al_Okullah
http://twitter.com/inekuddin
http://twitter.com/nayakuddin
http://twitter.com/apdul
http://twitter.com/Gubomaster <-- Armitaraj? Breadtor? http://twitter.com/napaki
http://twitter.com/Abdulsaleemgad
http://twitter.com/lalbrofessor
Aljo phollow:
motorhams:
http://twitter.com/naveenaqvi (Babe-e-neuj)
http://twitter.com/marvi_memon (hubba hubba)
http://twitter.com/Al_Okullah
http://twitter.com/inekuddin
http://twitter.com/nayakuddin
http://twitter.com/apdul
http://twitter.com/Gubomaster <-- Armitaraj? Breadtor? http://twitter.com/napaki
http://twitter.com/Abdulsaleemgad
http://twitter.com/lalbrofessor
Aljo phollow:
motorhams:
http://twitter.com/naveenaqvi (Babe-e-neuj)
http://twitter.com/marvi_memon (hubba hubba)
Technalajee-e-tweet
Salaams Piratherj,
A little chidiya sat on my shoulder and bolo tweet tweet.
Ujing thij new techn-e-lajee ij the fatwa-e-LMU.
Subhanallah! Blij to tweet Al_Okullah aljo. Mullah Wahamullah ij imprejjed.
A little chidiya sat on my shoulder and bolo tweet tweet.
Ujing thij new techn-e-lajee ij the fatwa-e-LMU.
Subhanallah! Blij to tweet Al_Okullah aljo. Mullah Wahamullah ij imprejjed.
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
LMU moves to social media
NSN: Unconfirmed reports are coming in that with enlightened moderation and lightbulb insertion being practiced at the LMU campus, the LMU faculty, including the dean himself have decided to try out the latest in social revolutionary technlogies: Twitter. Being great twits themselves, this is but a natural extension of their talent. LMU faculty hope to spread their knowledge, personal thoughts and fatwas far and wide using this mechanism.
One may find the dean's twitter stream at:
http://twitter.com/lalbrofessor
His other streams and emissions are captured by his devoted students.
NSN, Tall, Fair and Upright reporting, bring you only the best, if only in 140 characters.
One may find the dean's twitter stream at:
http://twitter.com/lalbrofessor
His other streams and emissions are captured by his devoted students.
NSN, Tall, Fair and Upright reporting, bring you only the best, if only in 140 characters.
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
Monday, June 22, 2009
True bakistani, neglected by sitaara tv broadcast....
Sitara tv did not show true bakistani kalchar.
I dekh match and there ij Baki osama , baki by birth and also by choice.
Yet all thij is censored.
I dekh match and there ij Baki osama , baki by birth and also by choice.
Yet all thij is censored.
Thursday, June 18, 2009
Allah-Hu-Fubar
Deeyar Loined Mullahs and other eggsperts,
Bliss to accept my abologies phor the loong apsence of leave phrom the mecca oph knowledge and the sulabh souchalya oph ze internetz.
It seems that I make lot of admins nervous with my presence in BRF. Since I ask too many uncomfortable questions and force them frequently look under their yellow-streaked undies to confirm the existence of certain man-parts from time to time, an evil yahudi-yindu conspiracy called 'goldberg-shikhandi' manure was tried on me and was banned.
Many shukriyas to the biraders who gave me a haath and their tender company in the BENIS dhaaga.
May the djinn of genital warts visit the yellow-bellied rats who stabbed me in the back.
Allah-hu-fubar
Allah-hu-fubar
Allah-hu-fubar
Your jihadistically,
Nayakuddin
Bliss to accept my abologies phor the loong apsence of leave phrom the mecca oph knowledge and the sulabh souchalya oph ze internetz.
It seems that I make lot of admins nervous with my presence in BRF. Since I ask too many uncomfortable questions and force them frequently look under their yellow-streaked undies to confirm the existence of certain man-parts from time to time, an evil yahudi-yindu conspiracy called 'goldberg-shikhandi' manure was tried on me and was banned.
Many shukriyas to the biraders who gave me a haath and their tender company in the BENIS dhaaga.
May the djinn of genital warts visit the yellow-bellied rats who stabbed me in the back.
Allah-hu-fubar
Allah-hu-fubar
Allah-hu-fubar
Your jihadistically,
Nayakuddin
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
kross Bostings.
Sarry, to bost other beoble works, BENIS dhaaga now a dins
hape very many drone attacks, hence eye think eet eej good
to save invaluable Gems safe phrom erasure.
Diyar Raghullah al Nathi
the pakistani team fielded 1.5 members (big latif and khushboo) to deal with the 1:10 yani ke 15 yindoos as per their instruction manual. but due to cunning yindu trick, they changed the ball from gola to tatta and then big latif waj kanphujed. when mauling he grabbed the wrong hooker and then khushboo got a damn good rucking, only that the yindo team were still in the changing room.
thereaphtar cunning yindoos declared victory and converted khushboo to kaffirism and took her away from big latif at a delicate moment with his prop forward, so had to do his own up and under. sharam sharam time
yours
Lalprafesar al SportIllustrati
That was by Broffessar LM in reply to this pooch
AoA, I have a pooch. How ij tall, phair adn taight asssed bious bakistanis loje to shaart darak rice eeting kufr indians in rugby. bhat haapened to 1 bakistani equal to 10 kufr yindoos??. I shmell a kaanspiracy. What ij happening to land of bure's haanar and deegnity (H&D)?? 
It eej haram for hasina atim bum to be alone with talipanchacha in the car without four witnesses, especially when wearing such un-halaal kameez. when unkil gave baksheesh for tanks, he did not mean tank tops. i think we immediately need to punish hasina atim bum with 100 stribes, kanfiskate her haraam bums and have dilbullah take her in for remedial studies and treatment. talipan chacha will have to maalish his own mijjiles for a few weeks in repentance
lalprafesar-e-fatwaii
LMU
This again is by Brof,LM anal-lysing deeply this bichor
There was a mard from madarss
Whose balls were made of brass
In ishtormy weather they clanged together
And sbarks phlew out oph his arss*
dat was by Amir N^3 as an ode to Chutkar Khan exploits.
Salam
Saturday, June 13, 2009
Istronge Repuff
Prejident Zardar10%i ispokemard janaab Fatehaal Barber
haj istrongly repuffed infedal CIA klaims oph Amir OBL
presence in Bakistan. “When NWFP yand FATA eej kontroled
Talipan, then how kome CIA klaims Amir OBL in Bakistan hain?” da Janaab
told NSN. He further warned CIA to not to ispread lies apout
Bakistan or else………. in da excitement NSN phorgot to ask
else what? apologies in advance.
calls to CIA ophice has not been returned.
pliss kelik where eet saysej Kelik phor pura khaber.
NSN (T.N.T.)
Sunday, June 7, 2009
Benis aayaa, Bahaar aayee
Akbar oooh Archanullah
Benis haj discarded the burqa like a ujed towel! Glory pee to Benis' ankle!
Benis haj discarded the burqa like a ujed towel! Glory pee to Benis' ankle!
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
Calender-e-Bakstan
Diyar LMU maulanas and stud-e-nts! the intezaar is over!! I am broud to bresent pefore yu the opphicial cal-e-ndar of LMU. Bure and bious Bakstani Talipan cal-e-ndar. Thij will not onlee edmucate yu apout the great bakstan on your packside, put also helb yu blan for IED cel-e-prations etc. Bliss to pe using this cal-e-ndar in your caves phrom now on and throw out thost kufr Aishwalida Rai and Heidi Kalams!
This ij naat my creation so bliss to naat credit me. Yu know Al Baqr never takes undue credit - visa nor mastercard. These are bainstakenly brebared py brafessar heric nairgolis bin IED-ka-Chaandi. Blis to send him your salams, a total of 72 lactating goats, and some of the 400 young tight munnas yu have apdukted todin. The whole cal-e-ndar ij in BDF phormat (bort-e-ple document phormat) (this clar-e-fication is phor yu kaffir lurkers, no BDF ij naat standing phor Bangla Deshi F'ers). The full BDF can pe downloaded phrom http://www.megaupload.com/?d=6J20WPH0
Ok mujahids, rebeat after me:
Jaan-E-vari!
Febr-E-vari!
Maar!
Abril!
Maai!
Jooon!
Julaaai!
Agast!
$hitampar!
Oct-o-par!
Nov-e-mper!
Dec-e-mper!
Diyar ishtoodents, thij creation oph LMU ij another in the series oph many creative contriputions to the world such as boetry, bhotoshopped and genuwhine bicchars, NSN farticles and bojitiveneuj plog. Bliss to learn and work hard to create such mast-e-rbieces.
yours in the tabela-e-bakri,
Al Baqr bin cal-e-nderi.
This ij naat my creation so bliss to naat credit me. Yu know Al Baqr never takes undue credit - visa nor mastercard. These are bainstakenly brebared py brafessar heric nairgolis bin IED-ka-Chaandi. Blis to send him your salams, a total of 72 lactating goats, and some of the 400 young tight munnas yu have apdukted todin. The whole cal-e-ndar ij in BDF phormat (bort-e-ple document phormat) (this clar-e-fication is phor yu kaffir lurkers, no BDF ij naat standing phor Bangla Deshi F'ers). The full BDF can pe downloaded phrom http://www.megaupload.com/?d=6J20WPH0
Ok mujahids, rebeat after me:
Jaan-E-vari!
Febr-E-vari!
Maar!
Abril!
Maai!
Jooon!
Julaaai!
Agast!
$hitampar!
Oct-o-par!
Nov-e-mper!
Dec-e-mper!
Diyar ishtoodents, thij creation oph LMU ij another in the series oph many creative contriputions to the world such as boetry, bhotoshopped and genuwhine bicchars, NSN farticles and bojitiveneuj plog. Bliss to learn and work hard to create such mast-e-rbieces.
yours in the tabela-e-bakri,
Al Baqr bin cal-e-nderi.
Benis Dhaga escapes in a Burqa
Now that dear Benis haj pecome invijiple like a Djinn, Wahamullah haj commented:
tu parda-nasheen ka aashiq hai
yoon chup-chup kae deedar na kar
dil jalta hai to jalnae dae
aasoon na bahaa fariyaad ka nar
tu parda-nasheen ka aashiq hai
yoon chup-chup kae deedar na kar
dil jalta hai to jalnae dae
aasoon na bahaa fariyaad ka nar
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Aa ab laut chalen... part 231 - hota rehta hai!!
...its back to caves as mujahids and mullas are driven out....
In this image, mahdi mulla, nayakuddin , abdul khan pratapi, lal brof and their harems lauts back to the caves....
In this image, mahdi mulla, nayakuddin , abdul khan pratapi, lal brof and their harems lauts back to the caves....
Thursday, May 21, 2009
GOAT JADOO
De above bicchor was bosted on Pee Are Yaf by Bhajkwedwaluddin few dins back.
eet got me thinking yand presto a sher ban gaya, pesh hai
Hair now hair now everypody raise jour haath
Hair now hair now everypody raise jour haath
uske mukhare par horn horn pe jadoo
jadoo nay kar diya GUPO hum ho gaye bekaboo
aur ho gayi mushkil
dus bahane kar ke kar diya GUPO
dus Bahane kar ke kar diya GUPO
yeh horn topehele aisa na tha
kisne behkaya aisa horn banaya kyun
yeh aakhe mere dekhey ussiko
sochay bina hi usse GUPO karaya kyun
jeena to aab marne se kahi mushkil
dus bahane kar ke kar diya GUPO
dus bahane kar ke kar diya GUPO
appropiate offer oph zam-zam kola where appropiate.
Salam.
Sunday, May 3, 2009
Cold War between 2 super powahs heats up
Cold war between 2 supah powers heats up
MOGADISHU: Somali pirates hijacked another ship, a Pakistani-owned vessel carrying goods for Somali traders, over the weekend, a pirate commander and a local businessman told AFP Sunday.
The MV Al-Misan was captured around 100 kilometres off the capital Mogadishu, Ahmed Abdi, a pirate commander in the coastal village of Harardhere said.
According to elders and traders in the region, it was transporting vehicles and commodities such as sugar and cooking oil for Somali traders and had been sailing from the United Arab Emirates.
‘One of the two ships we hijacked yesterday is confirmed to have been chartered by Somali traders and there are already talks to release it. I think it will happen today,’ Ahmed Abdi told AFP by phone.
One Somali trader with a stake in the hijacked ship’s cargo said he was hopeful the vessel would be released soon.
‘There are efforts to free the ship and its crew, Somali traders and elders are already negotiating with the pirates and we are hopeful that they will soon release it,’ Abdullahi Moalim Barre told AFP.
The Al-Misan’s hijacking brings to at least 18 the number of vessels currently held by the ransom-hunting Somali buccaneers plying some of the globe’s busiest maritime trade routes in the Pakistani Ocean and Gulf of Aden.
Saturday, May 2, 2009
Biss Deal Petween Nayakuddin and Adminullah?
Diyar Pirathers,
I hab a pooch ...
The ub and down, ub and down, life of Nayakuddin reminds me of FM Mullah. Ij Nayakuddin making Biss deals with kufr Adminullah and then preaking it quickly?
Ij Nayakuddin demanding Sharia in PeeArf territory?
Doej he want all Rack-a-Shacks to wear hijaab?
Doej Adminullah govermint want Nayakuddin to dijarm hij mijjiles?
Do they want motorham ishkools open in PeeArf territory?
Ij Nayakuddin in favor oph Plack Sheeb aj Qazi?
Even Wahamullah doej naat have jawaab phor thij pooch! Blij to phind out the andar ki khabar.
Yourj,
Al-Okullah.
I hab a pooch ...
The ub and down, ub and down, life of Nayakuddin reminds me of FM Mullah. Ij Nayakuddin making Biss deals with kufr Adminullah and then preaking it quickly?
Ij Nayakuddin demanding Sharia in PeeArf territory?
Doej he want all Rack-a-Shacks to wear hijaab?
Doej Adminullah govermint want Nayakuddin to dijarm hij mijjiles?
Do they want motorham ishkools open in PeeArf territory?
Ij Nayakuddin in favor oph Plack Sheeb aj Qazi?
Even Wahamullah doej naat have jawaab phor thij pooch! Blij to phind out the andar ki khabar.
Yourj,
Al-Okullah.
Halaal Counter Fatwaa to Haraam Fatwaa
Diyar Mullah Pirathers,
I caal phor urgent Jirga ... Blij to dekho thij khabar:
=================
Black sheep will not be tolerated in judiciary: CJ
ISLAMABAD (SANA): Chief Justice of Pakistan Justice Iftikhar Muhammad Chaudhry said that black sheep will not be tolerated in the judiciary.
Addressing Supreme Court staff while paying tribute to Justice Sabihuddin (Late) on his services for judiciary, he asked the judges and lawyers that it was their responsibility to ensure justice in the courts.
He urged the lawyers and court staff to identify black sheep to stop the selling of justice for ensuring transparency in the court proceedings.
=================
Thij ij haraam! Who ij thij CJ Ifti? Ij he related to BJ Cutie? Why ij he telling haraam fatwa?
We are Roshan Khayali mullahs. We are equal equal obbortunity mullahs. Why are sheeb haraam? And why are *plack* sheeb haraam, hain? Naansenj, I bolo. And, racisht aj well.
Subboj that Wahamullah and Khushboo hab domeshtic disbute (god forpid -- biss pe ubon them). Put, jusht subboj, you samjho, right?
Wahamullah will pe aple hire a waqeel. Put, I poocho ... who will rebrejent Khushboo, hain? Who ij dejignated waqeel phor goats?
A sheeb, of courj!
Goats and sheeb are coujins and they trusht each other.
I bolo that sheeb should have place in Justish with full H&D. In phact, I subbort sheeb aj Qazis.
Maype, we should hab a Plack Sheeb aj Qazi-ul-Momeen!
Blij enphorj thij fatwa with jour subbort.
I caal phor urgent Jirga ... Blij to dekho thij khabar:
=================
Black sheep will not be tolerated in judiciary: CJ
ISLAMABAD (SANA): Chief Justice of Pakistan Justice Iftikhar Muhammad Chaudhry said that black sheep will not be tolerated in the judiciary.
Addressing Supreme Court staff while paying tribute to Justice Sabihuddin (Late) on his services for judiciary, he asked the judges and lawyers that it was their responsibility to ensure justice in the courts.
He urged the lawyers and court staff to identify black sheep to stop the selling of justice for ensuring transparency in the court proceedings.
=================
Thij ij haraam! Who ij thij CJ Ifti? Ij he related to BJ Cutie? Why ij he telling haraam fatwa?
We are Roshan Khayali mullahs. We are equal equal obbortunity mullahs. Why are sheeb haraam? And why are *plack* sheeb haraam, hain? Naansenj, I bolo. And, racisht aj well.
Subboj that Wahamullah and Khushboo hab domeshtic disbute (god forpid -- biss pe ubon them). Put, jusht subboj, you samjho, right?
Wahamullah will pe aple hire a waqeel. Put, I poocho ... who will rebrejent Khushboo, hain? Who ij dejignated waqeel phor goats?
A sheeb, of courj!
Goats and sheeb are coujins and they trusht each other.
I bolo that sheeb should have place in Justish with full H&D. In phact, I subbort sheeb aj Qazis.
Maype, we should hab a Plack Sheeb aj Qazi-ul-Momeen!
Blij enphorj thij fatwa with jour subbort.
Friday, May 1, 2009
khabar dubaraa tooti
Pirathers,
Maulana Nayakuddin haj been disbatched to jannat phir ek baar.
With hij ub and down, ub and down petween cave and jannat, there ij great conphushun among houris, goats and mullahs.
salaams.
Maulana Nayakuddin haj been disbatched to jannat phir ek baar.
With hij ub and down, ub and down petween cave and jannat, there ij great conphushun among houris, goats and mullahs.
salaams.
Saturday, April 25, 2009
Mushy sings an ABBA song during ABBA Din Bakistan
I don't wanna talk
About the GUBO I've gone through
Though it's hurting me
Now it's history
I've played all my cards
And that's what you've done too
Nothing more to say
No more Dollahs to pay
The loser takes it all
The GUBO big or smal
lBeside your victory
That's my destiny
I was in your arms
Thinking I belonged there
I figured it made sense
Building me a fence
Building me a home
Thinking I'd be strong there
But I was a fool
Playing by my rules
Amritraj may throw a dime
His mind crooked all the time
And Cee Eye Yeah down here
sends mangoes to someone dear
The loser fakes it all(Takes it all)
The loser has to fall(Has to fall)
It's simple but full of pain(Yes, he pain)
Why shouldnt I complain
But tell me does Kiyani kiss
Like I used to kiss you
Does it feel the same
When he cries out your name
About the GUBO I've gone through
Though it's hurting me
Now it's history
I've played all my cards
And that's what you've done too
Nothing more to say
No more Dollahs to pay
The loser takes it all
The GUBO big or smal
lBeside your victory
That's my destiny
I was in your arms
Thinking I belonged there
I figured it made sense
Building me a fence
Building me a home
Thinking I'd be strong there
But I was a fool
Playing by my rules
Amritraj may throw a dime
His mind crooked all the time
And Cee Eye Yeah down here
sends mangoes to someone dear
The loser fakes it all(Takes it all)
The loser has to fall(Has to fall)
It's simple but full of pain(Yes, he pain)
Why shouldnt I complain
But tell me does Kiyani kiss
Like I used to kiss you
Does it feel the same
When he cries out your name
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
Tootati Hui Khabar
Nayakuddin haj returned from Jannat!
Blij to send Chotu to coll-e-ct the 72 and depojit them in virginity r-e-storashun debartment.
NSN -- Exberts in abblying duct tabe to Preaking News.
Poocho and ye shall receib.
Blij to send Chotu to coll-e-ct the 72 and depojit them in virginity r-e-storashun debartment.
NSN -- Exberts in abblying duct tabe to Preaking News.
Poocho and ye shall receib.
Mullah Al-Okullah
You are a genious bin unparalelledi
Due to my close association with the learned Jirga, I am wakif with the "single-hair" as well as certain advanced pingrezi adjectives like Arse-if Single Hair
Khair, Wahamullah says you misunderstood my Poetry because it is not up to the standards you set for yourself and those who want to emulate you, I meant Amritraj said " bata mera size kya hain", many many maafi for the ambiguous language used which is degrading to the grait Allama
Here is pesh another boem by the grait allama
Kahin Qareeb sunayee guftagu, Usne meri Qamar meri kasi
Hamari aankhon mein aasu, Amritraj ke chehre pe Hasi
Nahin chahiye tha aam ka krate isliye uski har baat suni
Usko kya farak hum Shia ya Sunni?
Yeh GUBO koi bematlab cheez nahi
GUBO hi to hain hamari aamdani
Us paise se hi aata hain, sadak, bijli aur pani
Teri meri yaari aur apni mardaangi
You are a genious bin unparalelledi
Due to my close association with the learned Jirga, I am wakif with the "single-hair" as well as certain advanced pingrezi adjectives like Arse-if Single Hair
Khair, Wahamullah says you misunderstood my Poetry because it is not up to the standards you set for yourself and those who want to emulate you, I meant Amritraj said " bata mera size kya hain", many many maafi for the ambiguous language used which is degrading to the grait Allama
Here is pesh another boem by the grait allama
Kahin Qareeb sunayee guftagu, Usne meri Qamar meri kasi
Hamari aankhon mein aasu, Amritraj ke chehre pe Hasi
Nahin chahiye tha aam ka krate isliye uski har baat suni
Usko kya farak hum Shia ya Sunni?
Yeh GUBO koi bematlab cheez nahi
GUBO hi to hain hamari aamdani
Us paise se hi aata hain, sadak, bijli aur pani
Teri meri yaari aur apni mardaangi
Monday, April 20, 2009
Allama Single-Hair's Immortal words
Mullah Mahdi,
Jou hab bosted the finesht lines written by the Allama. I am pesh karo lines that come pefore your magical verse:
Amritraj Khan sae kyaa poochoon ke meri size kyaa hai
Mein is fiqr mein rehtaa hoon, ke unki size kyaa hai
adab arz hain pirather.
[p.s. -- Bliss to rekwesht matlab of single-hair if jou need it]
Jou hab bosted the finesht lines written by the Allama. I am pesh karo lines that come pefore your magical verse:
Amritraj Khan sae kyaa poochoon ke meri size kyaa hai
Mein is fiqr mein rehtaa hoon, ke unki size kyaa hai
adab arz hain pirather.
[p.s. -- Bliss to rekwesht matlab of single-hair if jou need it]
Sunday, April 19, 2009
Pakiban to arrange e love marriages
LAHORE: The Taliban of Swat have set up a bureau named ‘Shuba-e-Aroosat’ ( i.e Shop a Asura for you damn kaffirs )for arranging love marriages of couples who are denied the marriage of choice by their families for one reason or the other, reports BBC Urdu Service. Asuras like Madame Jalebi e Shirleen who bears striking resemblanje to yindoo mythical character Soorphanakha will be among the first to go on display for the Talibs to fall in love with and then hopefully whisk away to some desolate cave for debriefing and de *** ing. sharam Sharam
Taliban spokesman Muslim Khan said the marriage bureau headed by Taliban Commander Dilbulla e PeeAref Loyalisti arranged 1111 ‘love visa marriages’ in the last nine days while 300 girls and boys are waiting for their turn. “The love marriage aspirants contact the bureau on a fixed telephone number
The Taliban collect their particulars and then Dilbulla contacts their familites to arrange these Canada visas” he said,
“Most of the girls, or their families, who contacted us wish to marry ‘militant’ Taliban.” Analysts say the Taliban are paving the way for themselves to marry the girls of their choice.
So Far only Big Tanvir and Bigger and more unwashed Jabbar have shown interest in Madam Jalebi
NSN reports
Yesterday's news today, Today's news Never
Taliban spokesman Muslim Khan said the marriage bureau headed by Taliban Commander Dilbulla e PeeAref Loyalisti arranged 1111 ‘love visa marriages’ in the last nine days while 300 girls and boys are waiting for their turn. “The love marriage aspirants contact the bureau on a fixed telephone number
The Taliban collect their particulars and then Dilbulla contacts their familites to arrange these Canada visas” he said,
“Most of the girls, or their families, who contacted us wish to marry ‘militant’ Taliban.” Analysts say the Taliban are paving the way for themselves to marry the girls of their choice.
So Far only Big Tanvir and Bigger and more unwashed Jabbar have shown interest in Madam Jalebi
NSN reports
Yesterday's news today, Today's news Never
Bojitive Exclamation
Ya kuda!! Ya to mujhe zabbani lota de dey
Nahi to mera ita lamba ker dey
ki may apni GUBO khud kar saku.
Saturday, April 18, 2009
Diyar Marvi Memon
Diyar Marvi!
Swat ki dilpasand fizaoN mein,
Woh khatoon thi unke paaoN mein,
Talib ke haath mein tha koda,
Par talib ruk gaya thoda,
Yeh dekhkar qazi bola,
"Oye, ab maar vi?"
Diyar madame Marvi, yeh kya hua?
Talib aapki yaad mein, kyun bechain hua?
Qazi ne fatwa sunaya,
Tab humko samaj mein aaya..
Woh bola Oh Madam Memon,
Without you Swat is like lemonade without lemon!
Kabhi to dobara ski karnay yahaN aaiye,
Apne sath madam Jalebi ko bhi laaiye,
Par ek hi guzarish hogi naacheez ki,
Ki abki baar, shuttlecock pehankar aaiye.
Salam.
Baqr
Swat ki dilpasand fizaoN mein,
Woh khatoon thi unke paaoN mein,
Talib ke haath mein tha koda,
Par talib ruk gaya thoda,
Yeh dekhkar qazi bola,
"Oye, ab maar vi?"
Diyar madame Marvi, yeh kya hua?
Talib aapki yaad mein, kyun bechain hua?
Qazi ne fatwa sunaya,
Tab humko samaj mein aaya..
Woh bola Oh Madam Memon,
Without you Swat is like lemonade without lemon!
Kabhi to dobara ski karnay yahaN aaiye,
Apne sath madam Jalebi ko bhi laaiye,
Par ek hi guzarish hogi naacheez ki,
Ki abki baar, shuttlecock pehankar aaiye.
Salam.
Baqr
Call phor Jirga: Haraam Cobycat Wepsite
Mullah Pirathers,
kuffar hab cobied our great conjebt ...
http://www.pakpositive.com/
thij ij just not kirkit!
We must queer the bitch (I matlab that baees gaj lambi zameen, naat motorham).
kuffar hab cobied our great conjebt ...
http://www.pakpositive.com/
thij ij just not kirkit!
We must queer the bitch (I matlab that baees gaj lambi zameen, naat motorham).
Al Okulla forced to Kha his own words
Phrom our archives
When Bakistani shakes, chawal eating Zabaan shivers in fiyar
There are about 150 Pakistanis living in Toyama prefecture and 10,000 throughout
Japan, according to Pakistani diplomat Muhammad Mudassir Tipu.
Phrom our Archives
On the aus-pee-cious occassion of the 2009 Bakshish conference Zabaan, we dig deep into our archives to bring you this bicchar celebrating 50 years of the lota revolution in Bakisatan
Prime Minister Koizumi stated, "I would like to express my heartfelt thanks to President Musharraf's firm stance during GUBO, amid a variety of difficult positions. For the coming 50 years, I would GUBO to be the model of relations between Japan and Pakistan, for this we are ready to throw in a bit of baksheesh here and there."
Friday, April 17, 2009
Japan plans massive Rabies control programme
Continuing with the stellar report by the Emir e Bakistan press box Al Okullah
Concerned with the possibal implications of the balkanisation of Bakistan and the subsequent health implications of the large scale movement of rabid population, International aid is pouring in the lota e millat carried by Caliph Zardari
The United States and Japan earlier said they pledged one billion dollars each over two years, the European Union promised 640 million dollars over four years, while media reports said Saudi Arabia had committed 700 million dollars.
Bakistan wanted a das saal ka kommitmant from the donors, put they were not so forthcoming, saying in 10 saal there was no guarentee that das parcent will be around
Al Okullah has an interesting take on this, he in his infinite wijdom says, Zabanis are kufr but they are intelligent kufr, not like the Amirkhan kufr who dont care if the maal they use is used maal or fresh maal , Amirkhan Kufr is susceptible to emoshunal blackmail. Jabani Kufr on the other haath , due to their rice eating are devious, they pretend to be concerned and helpful but they keep us momeen at arms length . Bekose of their strict immigrashun bolicy there is no powerfool lobby of Bakjabanis like the Britbakpakis. Al Okullah stressed this point in the press (minus Sherry) briefing with Zardari who acknowledged the fact that, the way to the Zabani purse is through a powerful Bakzabani kommunity exercising their right to peace according to the kitaab.
Speaking of Zaban, the Zabanis speak interesting Zabaan, it sometimes becomes very difficult for you if you are a Bakistani as the Zabani Kufr seem to add "L" to everything ending with "o", after the international baksheesh kanferance , all the delegates were taken for sight seeing to the Kyushu region and specifically to dekh the jwalamukhi called "Aso", it waj a were scenic journey but most of the Bakistani delegation were having difficulty understanding and translating the different Zabaans spoken by the Kufr e Khichdi and promptly fell asleep. The ways of the Kufr are strange, upon sighting the Jwalamukhi " aso" they started shouting " aso" " aso", thereby disturbing our neend as everytime they said " aso" we thought they were calling us. The Zabani Wazir pointed towards the Jwaalamukhi and said to our Wazir " Look Zardari Aso Aso," Wazir Zardari was wondering why the Kufr was pointing away from him while callig him "Aso" but then he dealt with this in his own unique way by displaying his bateesi
More reports to follow
Salaam from Jabaan
Greetingj piratherj,
I am accombanying Wahamullah to Jabaan ... we are hiyar to collect Jizya tax from kuffar ...
Ubon arriving, Wahamullah gave phirsht wijdom ... the halaal name of country ij Zubaan put kuffar can not spell it right and call it Jabaan ... Wahamullah knowj bahut bahut zyaadaa ...
sbeaking of Zubaan, the Zubaanese sbeak funny zubaan ... and they are bowing ub and down, ub and down, without checking direction of holy mosque ...
but these are good kuffars and baid ub 1 pillion of kuffar money ...
hobefully they will naat suffer too much ... Wahamullah sej they are very boor ...
oph courj they eat laat of rice like any short kuffar should ... put, they can naat afford to cook their fish and eat it kachchaa ...
the Zubaanese have made some very halaal rail-gaadi ... Wahamullah sej that the train floats in air with Jinn power ... next time we will ask kuffar to make this rail-gaadi from Peshawar to Quetta ... jou will be aple to vijit khushboo and pe pack the same din ...
ok, I hab to stob now ... Whamullah sej that we should dekho some houri called geishaa ...
Salaams,
Al-Okullah
I am accombanying Wahamullah to Jabaan ... we are hiyar to collect Jizya tax from kuffar ...
Ubon arriving, Wahamullah gave phirsht wijdom ... the halaal name of country ij Zubaan put kuffar can not spell it right and call it Jabaan ... Wahamullah knowj bahut bahut zyaadaa ...
sbeaking of Zubaan, the Zubaanese sbeak funny zubaan ... and they are bowing ub and down, ub and down, without checking direction of holy mosque ...
but these are good kuffars and baid ub 1 pillion of kuffar money ...
hobefully they will naat suffer too much ... Wahamullah sej they are very boor ...
oph courj they eat laat of rice like any short kuffar should ... put, they can naat afford to cook their fish and eat it kachchaa ...
the Zubaanese have made some very halaal rail-gaadi ... Wahamullah sej that the train floats in air with Jinn power ... next time we will ask kuffar to make this rail-gaadi from Peshawar to Quetta ... jou will be aple to vijit khushboo and pe pack the same din ...
ok, I hab to stob now ... Whamullah sej that we should dekho some houri called geishaa ...
Salaams,
Al-Okullah
Monday, April 13, 2009
Social ebils.
There are two types of gandagi aka social ebils.
One is friendship bith Qadiayani Ahmadiya Marzai
Another is friendship wit zulmi Brahmins.
To remove Q-A-M, there ij guberment campaign.
Everydins some mujahid blows himself up.
Hiyar u dekho guberment campaign when a conference was held on the 'finality of prophet - pbuh. unfortunately, the conference Khatam-e-Nabuwat ended in boom becoj some mujahids were not ready to accept the interpretations.
Similalry, bith Hnd-al-Brahmins, friendship is haraam as the khanjar comes back in you musharrap. But to remove the Brahmins, there is no dawa nor dua, not jihad not even a Khatam-e-Kothwali conference. Sad but true.
One is friendship bith Qadiayani Ahmadiya Marzai
Another is friendship wit zulmi Brahmins.
To remove Q-A-M, there ij guberment campaign.
Everydins some mujahid blows himself up.
Hiyar u dekho guberment campaign when a conference was held on the 'finality of prophet - pbuh. unfortunately, the conference Khatam-e-Nabuwat ended in boom becoj some mujahids were not ready to accept the interpretations.
Similalry, bith Hnd-al-Brahmins, friendship is haraam as the khanjar comes back in you musharrap. But to remove the Brahmins, there is no dawa nor dua, not jihad not even a Khatam-e-Kothwali conference. Sad but true.
Sunday, April 12, 2009
Famous Nerurosurgeon visits Bajaur
Famous Nerurosurgeons team visits Bajaur
The beheaded body of a local traders’ organisation president and senior leader
of the Awami National Party was found near a dry drain in the Bajaur Agency’s
Nawagai area on Friday.Governor of the province Mir Guboddin Phadmathyaar commended the Taliban for the surgical precision of the beheading and expressed hope that the young mujahids would emulate the great taliban neurosurgical team
Saturday, April 11, 2009
Positive Shaayari Time
Youn muh na phira hum se kuch karo batein Bilkul jaise as in Broke back mounteyn
Aye Zalim zamana tune yeh kya kar diya
Beech main humein kyun bitha diya
Daye taraf mooh phiraye baitha hai mera pyaar
To baye taraf hain uske cousin biwi ka yaar
Dekh zalim ne humpe kaise rustam jaise nazar lagai
Agar sab peeche baithe to kaun chalaega gadi e-hyundai?
Humein koyi nahi rok sakta
na gormand na daroga e polis
hum jaa rahein hain khelne aajka
Kaun banege yaar of Margolis
Dosti acchi ho to rang lag jati hai
Saudi jaisi ho to umang lag jati hai
Chini Jaisi ho to salwar me daag lag jati hai
Aur Amirkhan jaisi ho to gun mein aag lag jati hain
Raah me mili ek haseen ladki Phoonk Sundari
Jisne ek laal kitab mein simat li uski saari zindagi
Humne unse pyaar se kuch batein ki
Humara pyaar dekh adminulla ko hui Khujli
Humein kya pata tha ki
Usko dekh kar Adminulla ki hi niyat bigadi?
Raah mein mila Admin Aasuon ka Saudagar
Bahut khush hua main do aasu Pa kar
Baad mein pata chala aasu mein milawat thi
aankho mein aasu par dil mein muskurahat thi
Phoonk to sapno ki tarah aakar chali gayi
aapko bhi bhulakar chali gayi
Kis baat ki saza di humien
Hasaya, Ladaya , phir bhoolake chali gayi
Misslile to chod agar aag ko Phoonka hota
To aaj Nayakuddin bhi Zinda hota
Aur na dikhata woh sabko apna mardangi
Dikhake Adminulla ko apni beech wali ungli
Partially ori-jinn-al
Jisne ek laal kitab mein simat li uski saari zindagi
Humne unse pyaar se kuch batein ki
Humara pyaar dekh adminulla ko hui Khujli
Humein kya pata tha ki
Usko dekh kar Adminulla ki hi niyat bigadi?
Raah mein mila Admin Aasuon ka Saudagar
Bahut khush hua main do aasu Pa kar
Baad mein pata chala aasu mein milawat thi
aankho mein aasu par dil mein muskurahat thi
Phoonk to sapno ki tarah aakar chali gayi
aapko bhi bhulakar chali gayi
Kis baat ki saza di humien
Hasaya, Ladaya , phir bhoolake chali gayi
Misslile to chod agar aag ko Phoonka hota
To aaj Nayakuddin bhi Zinda hota
Aur na dikhata woh sabko apna mardangi
Dikhake Adminulla ko apni beech wali ungli
Partially ori-jinn-al
Wafa ka maara hu Mujahid
Dar Dar ke Thokar Khaata hun
Accha hua ki Ruksat ley li Benis se
Humein Ban karne se pehle
Jeehad karke bhi Adminulla ki bewafai dekh li
Jahan ka dard bhari khudai dekh li
Benis me to humein Panah mumkin na tha
Benis se bichad ke Judai dekh li
Tu Khamosh Khada Raha
Jab Nayakuddin ka Aashiyana Ujad gaya
Tum kanto se bach ke chalte ho
Hum phoolon ( not Phoolan) se bhi Zakhm khaate hain
Dar Dar ke Thokar Khaata hun
Accha hua ki Ruksat ley li Benis se
Humein Ban karne se pehle
Jeehad karke bhi Adminulla ki bewafai dekh li
Jahan ka dard bhari khudai dekh li
Benis me to humein Panah mumkin na tha
Benis se bichad ke Judai dekh li
Tu Khamosh Khada Raha
Jab Nayakuddin ka Aashiyana Ujad gaya
Tum kanto se bach ke chalte ho
Hum phoolon ( not Phoolan) se bhi Zakhm khaate hain
Friday, April 10, 2009
Aata hai Yaad Mujhko, Guzaraa Hua Zamaanaa
aataa hai yaad mujhako, guzaraa hua zamanaa
khushboo ki khilavat, bulbul ka chahchahana
dhagaa-e-benis mein, al-nayak ka bost karnaa
mahdi-e-dra ki khatir al-baqr ka muskuranaa
ab kis baat ki koshish, ab kyoon taras rahaa hai
ab kis tarah ki zurrat, ab tujhko kyaa milaa hai
na khushboo hai na bulbul, bus amritraj bachaa hai
jo nayak ban hua hai, ab sab kuch badal gayaa hai
adab-e-arz-e-non-original-e-boet :)
Thursday, April 9, 2009
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
A call to wayward Mullahs at *** Rakshak
In Hi Patharon Pe Chal Ke, Aaa Sako To Aao
Hamaare Ghar Ke Raste Koi Kahkashan Nahi
Sacchayee Chup Nahi Sakti, Banawti Usulon Se
Khushbu Aa Nahi Sakti,Predator ke Bhoolon Se
Nahin lag sakta kabhi Benis main taala
Ek nahin..do nahin...Saara shahar sussu karne waala
Dhoondhta Phirthe ho tum Mullah ko dene Shahadat Uski
Dekh kar Nayakuddin ka Jigar Adminullah ki Langot Phisli
Aapki aur hamari nazar ka na kabhi bair ho
Lo raah main takra gaye, allah khair ho
Galat nahi ke zamane main lajawaab hain hum
Samajh sake na koi, woh kitaab hai hum
Ek Mullah ko Ban kiya aapne Saahil Ki Rait Par
Phir Umar Bhar aap Se hamari Dushmani Rahi
Tere Aazad Bande Ki, Na Yeh Duniya Na Woh Duniya
Yahan Jeene Ki Pabandi, Wahan Marne Ki Pabandi
Aakhir Benis mein kyun yeh nasbandi?
Tu Aatish-E-Dozakh Se Darata Hai Jin hain
Woh Aag Ko Pee Jate Hain Paani Kar Ke
Zaruri To Nahi, Ke Batayain Labon Se Dastaan Apni
Zabaan Ek Aur Bhi Hoti Hai Izhaar Ki
Ek tha Mullah jiska Bangalore me shor tha
Jisne kiya hamlaa uska jigar kamzor tha
Kafas Udas Hai yaaro, Nayakuddin ko kyon maara
Akhir Mullah hi to hai doosre Mullah ka Sahaara
Aaa Sikander-E-Hunar Aaazmayain
Tu Teer Aaazmaaa, Hum Jigar Aaazmayain
Hamaare paas poore Pakistan ki Qaum hain
Quaid hai aur analcyst-e Hamid Zaid hain
Aapke paas kya bas Jirga e Cheen hain?
aur hindu par war karne waali Psec Qaum hain?
In hi gufaaon mein kabhi hum aur aap chupa karte they
Zam Zam Peekar Mujra dekha karte they
Humare awaaz mein awaaz milakar aap bola karte they
Musharaff is a Kaayar
Aur Hum pe hi chala diya aapne Hell Fire?
Hamse Kare aap Pyar
Izhaar Kisi Aur Se Kare
Khuda Kare Jis Se Kare Woh Izhaar
Woh Bhi Pyar Kise Aur Se Kare
Boetry by Umpayar Saiman Toufwal
Hamaare Ghar Ke Raste Koi Kahkashan Nahi
Sacchayee Chup Nahi Sakti, Banawti Usulon Se
Khushbu Aa Nahi Sakti,Predator ke Bhoolon Se
Nahin lag sakta kabhi Benis main taala
Ek nahin..do nahin...Saara shahar sussu karne waala
Dhoondhta Phirthe ho tum Mullah ko dene Shahadat Uski
Dekh kar Nayakuddin ka Jigar Adminullah ki Langot Phisli
Aapki aur hamari nazar ka na kabhi bair ho
Lo raah main takra gaye, allah khair ho
Galat nahi ke zamane main lajawaab hain hum
Samajh sake na koi, woh kitaab hai hum
Ek Mullah ko Ban kiya aapne Saahil Ki Rait Par
Phir Umar Bhar aap Se hamari Dushmani Rahi
Tere Aazad Bande Ki, Na Yeh Duniya Na Woh Duniya
Yahan Jeene Ki Pabandi, Wahan Marne Ki Pabandi
Aakhir Benis mein kyun yeh nasbandi?
Tu Aatish-E-Dozakh Se Darata Hai Jin hain
Woh Aag Ko Pee Jate Hain Paani Kar Ke
Zaruri To Nahi, Ke Batayain Labon Se Dastaan Apni
Zabaan Ek Aur Bhi Hoti Hai Izhaar Ki
Ek tha Mullah jiska Bangalore me shor tha
Jisne kiya hamlaa uska jigar kamzor tha
Kafas Udas Hai yaaro, Nayakuddin ko kyon maara
Akhir Mullah hi to hai doosre Mullah ka Sahaara
Aaa Sikander-E-Hunar Aaazmayain
Tu Teer Aaazmaaa, Hum Jigar Aaazmayain
Hamaare paas poore Pakistan ki Qaum hain
Quaid hai aur analcyst-e Hamid Zaid hain
Aapke paas kya bas Jirga e Cheen hain?
aur hindu par war karne waali Psec Qaum hain?
In hi gufaaon mein kabhi hum aur aap chupa karte they
Zam Zam Peekar Mujra dekha karte they
Humare awaaz mein awaaz milakar aap bola karte they
Musharaff is a Kaayar
Aur Hum pe hi chala diya aapne Hell Fire?
Hamse Kare aap Pyar
Izhaar Kisi Aur Se Kare
Khuda Kare Jis Se Kare Woh Izhaar
Woh Bhi Pyar Kise Aur Se Kare
Boetry by Umpayar Saiman Toufwal
Monday, April 6, 2009
BOSITIBE BOETRY TAIME
Wah!!! Gazi saheb, suhanalla.
Kiyoki Bakmard ki ident-tity hai
-Aakhen kholu tow Gund GUBO ho
-Aakhen band karu tow Sappan GUBO ho
-Mar bhi jaye tow gam nahi
agar kafan kay badle 72+28 GUBO ho.
Kiyoki Bakmard ki ident-tity hai
-Aakhen kholu tow Gund GUBO ho
-Aakhen band karu tow Sappan GUBO ho
-Mar bhi jaye tow gam nahi
agar kafan kay badle 72+28 GUBO ho.
Pooch-e-ishtoodent
wah, wah, subhanAllah ... kyaa mushaira hai, kyaa mehfil hai, kyaa bazm hai ... kyaa Boetry-e-Plog hai ...
all mullah pirathers are chupae rustam boets ... to phir hum bhi pesh kartae hain ... thij ij apout phoren bolicy of bakistan rack-shack aadmi-null-ahs ... LMU ishtoodent asks blaintively:
poochtaa hai to pooch lae ai poochnae waalae
drone sae kyoon maartae hain Khan ke saalae
cutter-e-daisy jhel kar hum cave mein bhaagae
ab kyoon bredator ko humaari g**nd mein daalae
all mullah pirathers are chupae rustam boets ... to phir hum bhi pesh kartae hain ... thij ij apout phoren bolicy of bakistan rack-shack aadmi-null-ahs ... LMU ishtoodent asks blaintively:
poochtaa hai to pooch lae ai poochnae waalae
drone sae kyoon maartae hain Khan ke saalae
cutter-e-daisy jhel kar hum cave mein bhaagae
ab kyoon bredator ko humaari g**nd mein daalae
Spirit of Bakistan
Ghar se Ghoome nikle they
Dil mein kuch armaan they
Tabhi Pet mein kuch Dard -e-Khas hua
Ek Tafaf Hindustan tha
Lekin pehre pe BSF ka Jawaan tha
To dusri Taraf Shamshaan tha
Samne hi ek Pakistan tha
Humne socha shaayad Allah hum pe Meharbaan tha
Kisne Banaya hain
Kisne Banaya hain yeh Bakistan
Saala Lota to tha lekin
Dariyaa to Hindustan mein tha
Shukar tha Allah ka hamare paas
Jhanda e Pakistan to tha
Dil mein kuch armaan they
Tabhi Pet mein kuch Dard -e-Khas hua
Ek Tafaf Hindustan tha
Lekin pehre pe BSF ka Jawaan tha
To dusri Taraf Shamshaan tha
Samne hi ek Pakistan tha
Humne socha shaayad Allah hum pe Meharbaan tha
Kisne Banaya hain
Kisne Banaya hain yeh Bakistan
Saala Lota to tha lekin
Dariyaa to Hindustan mein tha
Shukar tha Allah ka hamare paas
Jhanda e Pakistan to tha
Sunday, April 5, 2009
Another boem py my coujjin-cum-grandphader
Rearguarding Chacha Rahim cutting the bum...
Chacha ne kiya khatna-e-bum,
To bum mein aa gaya itna dum,
Lekar chale hum,
jihad ka bharnay dum,
patloon ki jeb mein hi phat gaya bum,
doctor bola, aapke hain do golay kum,
ab beta jao, piyo cola zam-zam.
Rearguarding hij own intro-duction:
Woh poochte haiN ki 'Baqr' kaun hai...
Woh poochte haiN ki 'Baqr' kaun hai...
Ab kya kahen hum, ki hum to moun haiN
( moun = kufr yindi phor "khamosh")
Kafir jisay bakri kaheN,
Momin kaheN Maulana,
Samajh main nahi aaya?
To beta, kal aana.
Chahe ho saggu ka tabela,
Ya vamanullah ka kona,
Gaur se dekho to har jagah,
Ek Baqr milega albela.
Ho Dilbu ka vijja mobile,
Ya nayakuddin ki cave,
Baqr ij alwayj there.
Whether yu rant or rave.
Do naat confuje me with archanullah,
To Kanada who haj moved,
He ij my fifth coujjin,
onlee thrice removed.
Naya mujahids learn to resbect him,
Coz he saves yu phrom bredator djinn.
Ummeed hai itna introduksion kaafi hai,
Koi bhool hui ho to ilteja-e-maafi hai.
Salam.
Baqr
Chacha ne kiya khatna-e-bum,
To bum mein aa gaya itna dum,
Lekar chale hum,
jihad ka bharnay dum,
patloon ki jeb mein hi phat gaya bum,
doctor bola, aapke hain do golay kum,
ab beta jao, piyo cola zam-zam.
Rearguarding hij own intro-duction:
Woh poochte haiN ki 'Baqr' kaun hai...
Woh poochte haiN ki 'Baqr' kaun hai...
Ab kya kahen hum, ki hum to moun haiN
( moun = kufr yindi phor "khamosh")
Kafir jisay bakri kaheN,
Momin kaheN Maulana,
Samajh main nahi aaya?
To beta, kal aana.
Chahe ho saggu ka tabela,
Ya vamanullah ka kona,
Gaur se dekho to har jagah,
Ek Baqr milega albela.
Ho Dilbu ka vijja mobile,
Ya nayakuddin ki cave,
Baqr ij alwayj there.
Whether yu rant or rave.
Do naat confuje me with archanullah,
To Kanada who haj moved,
He ij my fifth coujjin,
onlee thrice removed.
Naya mujahids learn to resbect him,
Coz he saves yu phrom bredator djinn.
Ummeed hai itna introduksion kaafi hai,
Koi bhool hui ho to ilteja-e-maafi hai.
Salam.
Baqr
My pirader Bakrur Shah Bakar said...
Nasha-e-GUBO ka agar shauk diya tha mujhko,
Tangh na abdul ka paijama banaya hota...
Tha sataana hi agar doori-e-khushboo se mujhe,
To pissu-e-musharaf-e-bakri banaya hota...
Roz mahaul-e-LMU mein IED hai 'Baqr'
Aisi LMU me ek madarsa banaya hota...
Ya mujhe afsar-e-TFTA banaya hota...
Ya mera naam Al Baqr na banaya hota..
Tangh na abdul ka paijama banaya hota...
Tha sataana hi agar doori-e-khushboo se mujhe,
To pissu-e-musharaf-e-bakri banaya hota...
Roz mahaul-e-LMU mein IED hai 'Baqr'
Aisi LMU me ek madarsa banaya hota...
Ya mujhe afsar-e-TFTA banaya hota...
Ya mera naam Al Baqr na banaya hota..
Chini Bak cousini Bhai Bhai
JUI to preach ROP in PRC
Speaking at the Khyber Union of Journalists’ Mulaqaat programme here on Friday, he said that the JI believed in peaceful preaching of the faith therefore they had signed a memorandum of understanding (MoU) with China to invite atheists towards Islam.
He claimed that the West in the garb of bilateral trade wanted to turn China into a Christian nation by 2050, which was a challenge for the Chinese Muslims, the biggest minority in the socialist country.
‘There is ideological vacuum in China and we must fill this vacuum,’ he said. When asked, the JI had deviated from its ideological position by signing the MoU with the Chinese Communist Party, he said: ‘No, no, this is not deviation from our ideology. In fact, the Chinese have deflected from Leninism and Communism, and embraced ideals of market economy.’
He said that there were 40 million Muslims in China and being Muslims ‘we should not ignore them’. He said that Muslims had sufficient concentration in other parts of China and they needed religious freedom
Saturday, April 4, 2009
Friday, April 3, 2009
Nayakuddin's revenge
The members of the jirga may remember that Kafirs in the form of Arundotis and Anjolies caused the temporary undergrounding of Nayakuddin. Last din, Nayakuddin got his revenge. See pelow video. Similarly all kafirs are warned! Burify yourself or enjoy the ispecial Nayakuddin vija !
Thursday, April 2, 2009
Pooch e khaas
By the pubic hair of the royal camel, bhwy are both these Ghazis holiding on the mijjile area? Abdul Lamba Missile has a video cam in his left haath and hankie in right haath? Bhwat is going on? is it haraam?
Concerned Abdul
Nawaz constricts his sphincter for Pakistan's sake
Yeh Daulat bhi le lo
Yeh Shaurat bhi le lo
Bhale cheen lo mujhse meri Virginity
Magar lauta de mujhko woh
GUBO ka Saawan
Wo Kagaz ka Ho Ko
Woh ZamZam ka pani
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