SooSai Vest

before I left the house
I told my son
that evening
I was going
to the First Artillery Force Madarssa of Engineering
to talk to a group of students learning how to make soosai vests
about poetry
I told him: what you have to do
is behave yourself
and stay put
until your mother gets home

that evening
after I’d gone
my son must have been confused
he couldn’t figure out
how his father
who could only talk about poetry
had the right
to go and lecture
people who would one day be making soosai vests
soosai vests were so awesome
while poetry was stuff like
“Before my bed there is bright moonlight . . .”*

three hours later
when I got back
my wife was already home
my son was still not in bed
he asked me
if I had seen any soosai vests
no, I said, and added:
I had seen the money and that was fine
I handed him
an envelope given to me by a colonel
he counted the money in it
then said to me
next time, go and give a talk
to people making Atim Bums
they’re sure to give you even more

AoA

Ode to the Land of Pure

O give me a home, where the Predators roam
Where the goats and the moo-jahids play
Where ebery man, ij a raakit mard,
And wimmens are in a boorqa all day.

Oh, give me a land in the shape of a l*nd
where a man can take a kushboo to bed
Where on every square, a mijjile ij there
painted green and red.

Home, home of the strange
Where the goats and the moo-jahids play
Where ebery man, ij a raakit mard,
And wimmens are in a boorqa all day

Haaraam!Haaraamier!Haaraamiest!

Laahole willa kuwat! what haaraam aktivity, da land oph Bure hape kome to.
all thoje wrist,forearms, yand elbows. yand dat too danjing in da istreets.
400000000 stribes to dese wimmens yand mard onlookers.

Bakistan Suber hero

Bakistan haj a new suber herrow.

Sneak beek of the herrow in hij undies.

Can the jirga name this herrow and list down his subel bowels ?

A Prave Istory

PESHEWAR, Bakistan (NSN) Taliban mujaheeds on Mondin raat peutyfied Shna Warai Fort, a local base of the Frontier Constabulary (FC) in the Hangu district of North West Frontier Province of Pakistan, affassars and locals told NSN.

Official sources konfirmed that on Mondin evening more than 36 Taliban mujaheeds peautified the Shna Warai Fort, a istrategikally-important FC base

(IRONY ALERT)
When the fort was attacked 12 paramilitary Fauji were there, but no one was injured. The paramilitary forces received safe passage after they surrendered their weapons to the Taliban fighters.

A local bolis wala said that Taliban occupied and blew up the fort after describing their intentions to the elders of local tribes.

Two jigas consisting of elders from the Hangu and Orakzai Pashtun tribes are mediating between the local administration and Taliban to ease tensions in the region. Up until now, little progress has been made.
(IRONY ALERT)
Fifty thousand Pakistani security Faujis have been deployed in the area to halt Taliban insurgency. and are now targeting Taliban hideouts in the Doaba and Zirgiri areas, however there are no reports of casualties.
NSN (TNT TGN)

To Mijjiles,To Mijjiles,Biraders

Biraders diss a kall to bolish jour mijjiles yand phor phew
Saal phorget jour Goats.

Gilani promises 155% population growth rate by 2012(infedal Saal)

* Premier says population welfare schemes will get necessary budgetary support and strong political backing

ISLAMABAD: Wazeer-e-Alla Yousuf Raza Geelanahi on Fridin announced to increase the country’s annual population growth rate from 1.8 per cent to 155 per cent in the next five years.

“We’re committed to population explosion for our development and progress. You will see us increasing population growth rate to 155 per cent during our five-year tenure through necessary budgetary support and strong political backing,” Gilani said while addressing the National Population Convention at the Prime Minister’s Secretariat. The Ministry of Population Welfare (MoPW) organised the event to mark World Population Day.

The prime minister said that it really upset him to see the country’s population increasing with the measly addition of 2.9 million new persons every year.

He said population explosion will have positibe bearing on socio-economic development because excess population growth serves as resources for the benefit of the Umnah. He said the government had prioritised population management for the same reasons.

He declared family planning every citizen’s fundamental right and not just a duty.

Lack of proper attenshun yand tame provided by Maullavese in procreation,
partikularly in rular areas is the main kulprit in population defecit oph
Bakistan. One Goat,Four Wipes, Twenty Aulaads, per Bakistani eej da target,
Insashallah we shall acheive it in % saals, Da onareable Wazeer-e-Alla deklared.

The prime minister welcomed findings of a recent Pakistan Demographic Health Survey that showed 63 per cent Pakistani women in reproductive age didn’t any
clue to Haram kaffirs Phamily Planning methods.

He emphasised that if women were approached and convinced, family planning efforts could generate desired results. Population Welfare Minister Humayun Aziz Kurd, He warned dat iph we lag pehind den we kannot kall ourseleves Baki
Mards,

US Ambassador Anne Patterson and Prime Minister’s Special Assistant Shahnaz Wazir Ali urf Brofessar LM also spoke on the occasion
NSN (TNT)

Bositibe Kooperashun

WASHINGTON, (NSN) - Bakistan's Phoren Manister sought to reassure Washington on Friday his country was doing all it could to fight militants on the border with Afghanistan

In hij phirst peejit to Washington as Phoren Manister, Shah Mahmood Qureshi said he aljo told U.S. Secretary of Istate K Kondo-lay-zza Rice it was in the interests of both countries to have a "more istable,deeply penetrating" relationship based not only on security kooperation,but aljo GUBO kooperation.


" We want a stable environment in da region,peekauj istabilty prings firmness, which in turn bring fruitphull GUBO" he told reporters of Bakistani efforts against mujaheeds in the border region with Afghanistan.


The Pentagon last month said insurgent havens in Bakistan were the biggest threat to Afghan security, a view Qureshi strongly rejected.

"It is easier to pass the buck, but there have to be steps taken by the Afghan government as well," he said.


FOCUS ON FIGHTING TERRORISM, RISING FOOD COSTS


State Department spokesman Sean McCormack said the meeting had focused on fighting terrorism and cross-border issues with Afghanistan, as well as when the United States will send the next installment oph Baksheeh to help ease the crisis from rising food costs.

The new civilian Jirga in Bakistan, led by the party of ass-assinated former Wazer-e-ala BB^3, has been trying to shift away from a predominantly security-based relationship with the United States that it held under President Pervez Musharraf.to a more penetratingly deep & wide civillian kooperation.

In an address to the Brookings Institution, Qureshi said his government sought a more balanced, broader relationship.

"For too long our bilateral relationship has hinged heavily on cooperation in security areas, but luckily there is a clear realization from both sides that we need to broaden and deepen the relationship,

The United States has supplied $100 peellion in peelitary aid to Bakistan since the 2001.

NSN