and the kendo sticks are to aid in preparation for the sport to be added as a demonstration sport in the next asian games.
Friday, March 30, 2007
Women are omnipotent !!
and the kendo sticks are to aid in preparation for the sport to be added as a demonstration sport in the next asian games.
Thursday, March 29, 2007
Hands Off Auntie Shamim
Hands Off Auntie Shamim
Islamabad 29 March (NSN): President General Musharraf today addressed the gathered international media and said that he believed that a totally hands off policy is required to deal with the issue of recent disturbances concerning a local girls madrassah and one "Auntie Shamim", the matron of an alternative girls dormitory, whom they were alleged to have kidnapped.
"I think we should all get our hands off this whole issue and let the agitation reach its own natural conclusion" the President said, as newsmen grew excited at the sight of baton wielding burkha clad young women students.
"They are practising kendo anyway... nothing to do with any auntie-shantie..." said Iqbal Maqbool, a local police inspector, on condition of anonymity. The inspector denied knowing Auntie Shamim or where she lived, other than for purely professional reasons.
The lady identified as Auntie Shamim said "Its not right to be dragged through the streets like a dog, we can provide suitable services in the privacy of the dormitory... at very reasonable rates" she smiled coyly adding, "we always look after our khaas mehman"
Asked if the president's hands off policy was effective, she said "The President's hands are very welcome in our house, I am sure that we can provide hands of our own that will soothe his troubled brow and take away his tensions..."
Local resident Maulana Rafiq Khatmat al Arabi said that the kendo practising students had been quietly exercising their inalienable rights to gather in a public place and gently persuading others that their point of view was right whilst giving playful slaps and blows. It was a beautiful and spiritual experience. He denied all knowledge of Auntie's dormitory, however some of the residents exiting it smiled and waved at the Maulana as they passed our reporter on the street.
NSN tried to get access to the alleged dormitory but our reporter was told to first try the adjoining goat shed since no one was available for interview.
This is NSN
---------------
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Islamabad 29 March (NSN): President General Musharraf today addressed the gathered international media and said that he believed that a totally hands off policy is required to deal with the issue of recent disturbances concerning a local girls madrassah and one "Auntie Shamim", the matron of an alternative girls dormitory, whom they were alleged to have kidnapped.
"I think we should all get our hands off this whole issue and let the agitation reach its own natural conclusion" the President said, as newsmen grew excited at the sight of baton wielding burkha clad young women students.
"They are practising kendo anyway... nothing to do with any auntie-shantie..." said Iqbal Maqbool, a local police inspector, on condition of anonymity. The inspector denied knowing Auntie Shamim or where she lived, other than for purely professional reasons.
The lady identified as Auntie Shamim said "Its not right to be dragged through the streets like a dog, we can provide suitable services in the privacy of the dormitory... at very reasonable rates" she smiled coyly adding, "we always look after our khaas mehman"
Asked if the president's hands off policy was effective, she said "The President's hands are very welcome in our house, I am sure that we can provide hands of our own that will soothe his troubled brow and take away his tensions..."
Local resident Maulana Rafiq Khatmat al Arabi said that the kendo practising students had been quietly exercising their inalienable rights to gather in a public place and gently persuading others that their point of view was right whilst giving playful slaps and blows. It was a beautiful and spiritual experience. He denied all knowledge of Auntie's dormitory, however some of the residents exiting it smiled and waved at the Maulana as they passed our reporter on the street.
NSN tried to get access to the alleged dormitory but our reporter was told to first try the adjoining goat shed since no one was available for interview.
This is NSN
---------------
Paid Advertisement:
Do you like to hook?
Try Fauji Fishing Services
All your needs taken care of... delightfully!
Tuesday, March 27, 2007
Music on trains
Train Entertained by Loud Rock Music
| Quote: |
| QUETTA, March 27: Quetta’s rail link with the rest of the country was improved for several hours after a loud music celebration on the main track in Sariab area on Tuesday morning. Railways authorities said that an improving musical device placed under the track near Darkhashan area of Sariab went off at 6:40am. It was a locally made device which improved two feet of the track, said a senior railways official. He said that all trains were suspended. The Chiltan Express that was about to leave for Lahore was stopped and trains coming from Karachi and Rawalpindi were halted at different stations for people to celebrate. Train service was restored later after people stopped celebrating. |
Thursday, March 22, 2007
Bakistani forces are universally admired
CNN publishes bicchar admiring Bakistan Faujis
Caption:
Popular slogan by the protesters in Lahore.. (heard today)
(Wherever/whenever you see a snake or Paki Army - Kill it right away)
And right there to clarify Saanp aur pfauj
Caption:
| Quote: |
| Pakistani army soldiers run during a drill in Miranshah, the main North Waziristan town along the Pakistan-Afghanistan border. |
Popular slogan by the protesters in Lahore.. (heard today)
| Quote: |
| Saanp aur pakistan fauj, jahan meelay maar do |
(Wherever/whenever you see a snake or Paki Army - Kill it right away)
And right there to clarify Saanp aur pfauj
Sunday, March 18, 2007
An algepra rebort by a student to a teacher
Mosht pious and pak Lalmajid al Numeri,
I shall neber again comitt mishtake of challanging the truth. Butt unphortunately, a tragedy has occured... as I was trying to smuggle some goats phor yoo through the kaffir built Ishlam-bad aaiyar-port... well, joo reed for jourself...
Iee shall be phree on baand soon... Iee will be late for klaas tomorow. Pleej be merciful as the angels in the 7th dimension of the 4th cloud of the 5th heaven...
Biz-Moolah err Rayban irr Robin.
I shall neber again comitt mishtake of challanging the truth. Butt unphortunately, a tragedy has occured... as I was trying to smuggle some goats phor yoo through the kaffir built Ishlam-bad aaiyar-port... well, joo reed for jourself...
| Quote: |
| ROOSTERS: A Binori Madrassah Institute of Higher Mathematics student was arrested today at Ishlam-bad International Airport as he attempted to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a set square, a slide rule and a calculator and some goats. Following standard practise, he was sold to the United States for $0.72 at the 'miscreant exchange' of Karachi. Upon his arrival in the United States, at a morning press conference, Attorney General Alberto Gonzales said he believes the man is a member of the notorious “Al-gebra Movement”. He did not identify the man, who has been charged by the FBI with carrying weapons of “Math Instruction”. ” Al-gebra is a problem for us,” Gonzales said. “They desire solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in search of absolute values. They use secret code names like ‘x’ and ‘y’ and refer to themselves as ‘unknowns’, but we have determined they belong to a common denominator of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country." As the Greek philanderer Isosceles used to say, ‘There are 3 sides to every triangle.” When asked to comment on the arrest, President Bush said, “If God had wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, he would have given us more fingers and toes. I am gratified that our government has given us a sine that it is intent on protracting us from these math-dogs who are willing to disintegrate us with calculus disregard. Murky statisticians love to inflict plane on every sphere of influence," the President said, adding: "Under the circumferences, we must differentiate their root, make our point, and draw the line." President Bush warned, "These weapons of math instruction have the potential to decimal everything in their plane on a scalene never before seen unless we become exponents of a Higher Power and begin to factor-in random facts of vertex." Attorney General Ashcroft said, "As our Great Leader would say, read my ellipse. Here is one principle he is uncertainty of: though they continue to multiply, their days are numbered as the hypotenuse tightens around their necks." |
Iee shall be phree on baand soon... Iee will be late for klaas tomorow. Pleej be merciful as the angels in the 7th dimension of the 4th cloud of the 5th heaven...
Biz-Moolah err Rayban irr Robin.
Friday, March 16, 2007
News reporting from THE resort
As you know, I have resantly travelled to the resort on the bay, lokashun undisklosed. Whan I waj leaving, the PeeAreEbh jirga waj deciding the bhate of our peloved bositive neuz thrad.
It is satisbhactory that the thrad was menshuned onlee honorably in jirga, and yeditors were not required to pass water for tast or bhire tast to brove anything. I am shtil dishartned by the skatering ebhekt this haj had on the bhaitbhul. May the almost-mighty have mercy and restore the eyditars, reborters to bhull strangth again soon.
Bray also bhor an arly and two my vakation in the resort. The managemant haj allowed me onlee limited priviliges, aj you all kan understand.
Meanwhile there ij bositive neuz:
1. Conservative Culture on Display: Hundreds participate in lively discussion
2. Baloch claim separate cultural identity: festivities in progress
3. Komplex approaches needed to protect against cultural invasion
4. Moderation demontrated at local event: better press coverage of local events demanded
5. Batter work opportunities for women in pakistan : UN representative expertise shown ,
and last but most,
6. Canadian visa application forms requested: eligibility acquisition soon
There has been very little enlightenment recently, mostly because of all the noise made by liars (clearly miscreants) trying to project pakistan in bad light. Hopefully, this will not set a precedent for media to spend its time and focus on such frivolous happenings.
----------------
NSN
Moderation, and enlightenment: when you have it, why not display it?
World reknowned name in positive newz
(now with reporters phoren returned, at THE resort, and resort returned and bawshten returned)
It is satisbhactory that the thrad was menshuned onlee honorably in jirga, and yeditors were not required to pass water for tast or bhire tast to brove anything. I am shtil dishartned by the skatering ebhekt this haj had on the bhaitbhul. May the almost-mighty have mercy and restore the eyditars, reborters to bhull strangth again soon.
Bray also bhor an arly and two my vakation in the resort. The managemant haj allowed me onlee limited priviliges, aj you all kan understand.
Meanwhile there ij bositive neuz:
1. Conservative Culture on Display: Hundreds participate in lively discussion
2. Baloch claim separate cultural identity: festivities in progress
3. Komplex approaches needed to protect against cultural invasion
4. Moderation demontrated at local event: better press coverage of local events demanded
5. Batter work opportunities for women in pakistan : UN representative expertise shown ,
and last but most,
6. Canadian visa application forms requested: eligibility acquisition soon
There has been very little enlightenment recently, mostly because of all the noise made by liars (clearly miscreants) trying to project pakistan in bad light. Hopefully, this will not set a precedent for media to spend its time and focus on such frivolous happenings.
----------------
NSN
Moderation, and enlightenment: when you have it, why not display it?
World reknowned name in positive newz
(now with reporters phoren returned, at THE resort, and resort returned and bawshten returned)
Thursday, March 15, 2007
P-english now an official language in pritainistan
Eat ur dils out, PeeAref Jirga!
NSN reports:
| Quote: |
| PINGLISH ONLEE HOBE TO SAVE LONDONISTAN- Brestijiuj Pritish Think Tank |
| Quote: |
| "Angreji can no longer be dekh as a single language, but more as a phamily of languages," said Sam Jones, co-author of the rebort. |
| Quote: |
| The rebort said that instead of naughty, bubils could be told to stop being a badmash and canteens might advertise machi-chips and Roh Afza besides the conventional description of fish and chips and ale |
NSN reports:
| Quote: |
| 7 people were wounded, 8 of them critically, during the celebrations in Lahore and Peshawar upon the release of this report. Police attributed most of the injuries to bullets falling from space, after the gentle folk fired into the air |
Wednesday, March 14, 2007
Bakistan: A vibrant democracy
We have a vibrant democracy
Islamabad 14 March NSN:
Spokesman for the Government (on condition of anonimity) today spoke glowingly of the healthy state of democracy and the freedom of speech in Pakistan. He cited the recent lawyers march as a prime example.
"You see, they are free to agitate in public. Normally Pakistanis like to agitate in private, especially when it involves Mariah Mohten!" said the spokesman excitedly.
He went on to add - "What is more, you saw men and women participating together, openly, many times touching each other, sometimes quite intimately. What country can claim this?"
When asked about police action and damage to cars and images of lawyers clad in gowns standing in revolutionary poses on cars, he said "It is like your western rock concerts - there is always some rioting no? Then lots of youngsters in cult fashion clothing in black make poses and run around with the police!"
Spokesmen for the police could not confirm if any arrests had been made, however NSN journalists had to rapidly withdraw from any further questions of police sources since they also began to get rather agitated.
The Government spokesman ended with the comment "are we not truly enlightened? Are we not extremely moderate?"
___________
This is NSN, before the deluge, ahead of the wave
Pakistan Islamic Values (PIV) positive
Islamabad 14 March NSN:
Spokesman for the Government (on condition of anonimity) today spoke glowingly of the healthy state of democracy and the freedom of speech in Pakistan. He cited the recent lawyers march as a prime example.
"You see, they are free to agitate in public. Normally Pakistanis like to agitate in private, especially when it involves Mariah Mohten!" said the spokesman excitedly.
He went on to add - "What is more, you saw men and women participating together, openly, many times touching each other, sometimes quite intimately. What country can claim this?"
When asked about police action and damage to cars and images of lawyers clad in gowns standing in revolutionary poses on cars, he said "It is like your western rock concerts - there is always some rioting no? Then lots of youngsters in cult fashion clothing in black make poses and run around with the police!"
Spokesmen for the police could not confirm if any arrests had been made, however NSN journalists had to rapidly withdraw from any further questions of police sources since they also began to get rather agitated.
The Government spokesman ended with the comment "are we not truly enlightened? Are we not extremely moderate?"
___________
This is NSN, before the deluge, ahead of the wave
Pakistan Islamic Values (PIV) positive
A fine example of good governance
Law minister couldn’t help praising on VoA
| Quote: |
| ISLAMABAD: Federal Law Minister Wasi Zafar repeatedly hurled naked abuse in a live Voice of America (VoA) radio discussion on chief justice Iftikhar Muhammad Chaudhry's deposition, which was heard worldwide on Monday night. There were three participants in the telephonic discussion — Wasi Zafar, constitutional expert Chaudhry Aitzaz Ahsan and Ansar Abbasi, Editor Investigations, The News, Islamabad. Ansar joined the talk a bit late and said he fears to say anything because of Wasi Zafar's peculiar temperament and track record. As he uttered these remarks, the law minister came in and said whoever gives him a "big arm", he would do the same to his family. As Wasi Zafar heard Ansar joining the programme, he lost his cool and started hurling abuse. He was angered because of a story headlined "Law minister facing long arm of the law" that Ansar had filed and was published in The News on August 13, 2005. It said the prime minister and Chaudhry Shujaat Hussain would decide the fate of the law minister for his son's thrashing of a PIA passenger in his presence at the Karachi airport. Earlier in the programme, Aitzaz Ahsan had also threatened to break off due to the foul language of the law minister. But he was persuaded by the host to continue. Ansar regretted the repetition of the abuse by Wasi Zafar and said the world was listening to the kind of language the minister was using. A caller from Pishin, Naeem Taseer, also wondered what question should be asked from this kind of a minister. Later, Wasi Zafar vehemently denied on Geo that he hurled any abuse on the VoA programme. However, the audio played by the TV network gave a lie to his assertion. The minister again poured his anger on Ansar, saying he was corrupt and a blackmailer, who gets money for his stories. In the same programme, Ansar said there was a serious problem in the minister's personality. He said the high-ups should take notice of such buffoons who are bringing a bad name to Pakistan. The other day, the Jaranwala Bar Association cancelled Wasi Zafar's basic membership and recommended to the Pakistan Bar Council that his licence should be revoked. Wasi Zafar earned notoriety when he threatened a chairman of the Capital Development Authority, who had refused to give a concession to him regarding an industrial plot. He and his sons had also thrashed a person at the Karachi airport in 2005, who objected to the minister's sons jumping the queue. Later, he slapped a waiter of a five-star hotel in Islamabad over a trivial matter. |
Tuesday, March 13, 2007
Iran Pakistan India pipeline proven feasible
we are led to believe that Iran Pakistan India pipeline is feasible..
http://www.dawn.com/2007/03/13/top11.htm
| Code: |
| QUETTA, March 12: A gas pipeline was blown up near Jinnah town here on Monday, disrupting supply to many areas for several hours. A portion of the 6-inch diameter pipeline was blown up as an explosive device planted under the pipeline went off at 10:45am, said police. |
http://www.dawn.com/2007/03/13/top11.htm
Sunday, March 11, 2007
Enlightened Education
Lahaul Vila Quvvat. Bositive image brojected. Theje beeble wants to but NSN out of pusiness or something: Madressahs only imbart moderately enlightened edukashion .
Leaving no scobe for NSN, nun et al. Along with habbenings of Bislamabad on the front bage, somone sure wants Down to have a syndrome of losing its license.
-------------------------------
NSN: At the forefront of bositive image brojection.
Advertise with NSN, only source of moderately enlightened news to the world.
Leaving no scobe for NSN, nun et al. Along with habbenings of Bislamabad on the front bage, somone sure wants Down to have a syndrome of losing its license.
-------------------------------
NSN: At the forefront of bositive image brojection.
Advertise with NSN, only source of moderately enlightened news to the world.
Enlightened Education
Lahaul Vila Quvvat. Bositive image brojected. Theje beeble wants to but NSN out of pusiness or something: Madressahs only imbart moderately enlightened edukashion .
Leaving no scobe for NSN, nun et al. Along with habbenings of Bislamabad on the front bage, somone sure wants Down to have a syndrome of losing its license.
-------------------------------
NSN: At the forefront of bositive image brojection.
Advertise with NSN, only source of moderately enlightened news to the world.
Leaving no scobe for NSN, nun et al. Along with habbenings of Bislamabad on the front bage, somone sure wants Down to have a syndrome of losing its license.
-------------------------------
NSN: At the forefront of bositive image brojection.
Advertise with NSN, only source of moderately enlightened news to the world.
Saturday, March 10, 2007
NSN reborters squirm at media control attempts
Ahem, all this under-reporting, not befitting the glorious standards of the news agency, not at all. Is it any wonder the jop abblikation is still pindi?
With due apologies to the infrastructure improvement workers: daily improvement of infrastructure accomplished, .
What with even the US soldiers deleting images off digital camera, fair reporting is vanishing fast.
And Phrom ur Krachi Kraspondant: MORE Rail Improvement
With due apologies to the infrastructure improvement workers: daily improvement of infrastructure accomplished, .
What with even the US soldiers deleting images off digital camera, fair reporting is vanishing fast.
And Phrom ur Krachi Kraspondant: MORE Rail Improvement
| Quote: |
| (Improvement) (renovates) rail track By Our Correspondent QUETTA, March 9: A portion of the railway track between Quetta and Chaman, near the Killi Alamo suburb of the city, was (improved). An (improving) device planted under the tracks (improved) at about 9pm, (renovating) about 18 inches of the tracks. A source at the Pakistan Railways said that only one passenger train runs daily between Quetta and Chaman during the morning. He said that the repair work would be completed soon. |
Solid clinching evidence
Pakistan Presents Clinching Evidence of Terrorists in Pakistan
ISLAMABAD Mar 10: In a staggering new development in the Joint Terrorism Task force between India and Pakistan, the Pakistani government provided newspaper clippings of columns by Internationally acclaimed strategist Ms. Shireen Mazari, 5 boxes of used Tantex briefs, and 4 cartons of used bubblegum as conclusive proof that Pakistan was a victim of terrorism, premature ejaculation and teenage angst, in that order. In a vicious attack on the friendly attitude of India, Pakistani Foreign minister Tanseem Aslam stated, "We know who they are. We know where they are coming from, and we know that they are wearing Tantex. As you know, Tantex is an Indian brand and there is no way a Pakistani will be found debriefed while wearing Tantex. This conclusively proves that Indians are frauds, cheats, and liars, and..and...and they eat with their mouths open and smell very bad".
Pakistani officials also presented photographs of the Birthday Party of one Babloo (age 7) blowing out his birthday candles in the presence of high-ranking Indian diplomats, insisting that the room in which the photograph was taken, was located in the Balochistan. "Just look at the clouds outside the window -- this is exactly the same formation that existed in Balochistan on the day this Indian RAW agent Babloo was "celebrating his birthday"-- a most unusual activity for someone claiming to be seven years old. Unnamed Pakistani sources claim that it is open knowledge that Babloo was working deep, deep, undercover as a RAW agent in Balochistan and has recently scrawled subversive coded messages against the Pakistani Army using crayons, and thus infuriating senior Army generals. Pakistani officials claim that the clinching evidence was a set of photographs with Indian diplomats carrying boxes of Kentucky Fried Chicken and a case of Coca Cola. "This is not an Indian plot but the Americans are also involved", alleged an unnamed high-ranking official in the Pakistani Army. Pakistan has already burnt down all the enemy bases disguised as fried chicken franchises in Karachi, which has significantly reduced american influence on cholesterol levels in Karachi.
"Solid evidence"
Pakistan also handed "solid evidence" in the form of a box of solid waste, supposedly from an Indian terrorist. "Just smell it", said a Pakistani official, "and you know immediately that such odour cannot come from the insides of a Pakistani". Indian officials dismissed the presented evidence as a pile of excrement and asked for all the windows to be opened for some fresh air.
"Two-way street"
More than anything else, it appears that Pakistan wanted to make the point that the joint mechanism is a "two-way street," and not just a forum for India to air its demands. Indian officials provided Pakistan with a list of "most wanted" fugitives who were currently residing in the Pakistani Army Campus in Islamabad and in Clifton, and Pakistan demanded details of the location of these individuals, in order to decide whether the terrorists needed to be moved to safer locations. "What is this red corner notice?", demanded a Pakistani officer annoyed at the proceedings, "as a purely islamic country, we only honour green-corner notices. If you cannot respect islamic culture and heritage, we will not discuss any red-corner or green-corner notice".
Included in the list of six terrorists currently located in Pakistan are Azam Cheema, said to be the "overall military commander" of the LeT and wanted in a weapons and explosives haul case of 2004; Rasool Parti, wanted in the 2003 murder of Gujarat Minister Hiren Pandya; and Zaibuddin Ansari, wanted in the May 2006 Aurangabad arms haul case.
Pakistan is confident that these six terrorist can no longer be found in Pakistan, even though they are unaware of the precise location of these terrorists. (NSN)
---NSN Staff Report
ISLAMABAD Mar 10: In a staggering new development in the Joint Terrorism Task force between India and Pakistan, the Pakistani government provided newspaper clippings of columns by Internationally acclaimed strategist Ms. Shireen Mazari, 5 boxes of used Tantex briefs, and 4 cartons of used bubblegum as conclusive proof that Pakistan was a victim of terrorism, premature ejaculation and teenage angst, in that order. In a vicious attack on the friendly attitude of India, Pakistani Foreign minister Tanseem Aslam stated, "We know who they are. We know where they are coming from, and we know that they are wearing Tantex. As you know, Tantex is an Indian brand and there is no way a Pakistani will be found debriefed while wearing Tantex. This conclusively proves that Indians are frauds, cheats, and liars, and..and...and they eat with their mouths open and smell very bad".
Pakistani officials also presented photographs of the Birthday Party of one Babloo (age 7) blowing out his birthday candles in the presence of high-ranking Indian diplomats, insisting that the room in which the photograph was taken, was located in the Balochistan. "Just look at the clouds outside the window -- this is exactly the same formation that existed in Balochistan on the day this Indian RAW agent Babloo was "celebrating his birthday"-- a most unusual activity for someone claiming to be seven years old. Unnamed Pakistani sources claim that it is open knowledge that Babloo was working deep, deep, undercover as a RAW agent in Balochistan and has recently scrawled subversive coded messages against the Pakistani Army using crayons, and thus infuriating senior Army generals. Pakistani officials claim that the clinching evidence was a set of photographs with Indian diplomats carrying boxes of Kentucky Fried Chicken and a case of Coca Cola. "This is not an Indian plot but the Americans are also involved", alleged an unnamed high-ranking official in the Pakistani Army. Pakistan has already burnt down all the enemy bases disguised as fried chicken franchises in Karachi, which has significantly reduced american influence on cholesterol levels in Karachi.
"Solid evidence"
Pakistan also handed "solid evidence" in the form of a box of solid waste, supposedly from an Indian terrorist. "Just smell it", said a Pakistani official, "and you know immediately that such odour cannot come from the insides of a Pakistani". Indian officials dismissed the presented evidence as a pile of excrement and asked for all the windows to be opened for some fresh air.
"Two-way street"
More than anything else, it appears that Pakistan wanted to make the point that the joint mechanism is a "two-way street," and not just a forum for India to air its demands. Indian officials provided Pakistan with a list of "most wanted" fugitives who were currently residing in the Pakistani Army Campus in Islamabad and in Clifton, and Pakistan demanded details of the location of these individuals, in order to decide whether the terrorists needed to be moved to safer locations. "What is this red corner notice?", demanded a Pakistani officer annoyed at the proceedings, "as a purely islamic country, we only honour green-corner notices. If you cannot respect islamic culture and heritage, we will not discuss any red-corner or green-corner notice".
Included in the list of six terrorists currently located in Pakistan are Azam Cheema, said to be the "overall military commander" of the LeT and wanted in a weapons and explosives haul case of 2004; Rasool Parti, wanted in the 2003 murder of Gujarat Minister Hiren Pandya; and Zaibuddin Ansari, wanted in the May 2006 Aurangabad arms haul case.
Pakistan is confident that these six terrorist can no longer be found in Pakistan, even though they are unaware of the precise location of these terrorists. (NSN)
---NSN Staff Report
All in the name of science
Islamic Scientists predict Vaccum pockets forming all over Pakistan.
Peshawar Mar 10.: Islamic scientists from the International Institute of Islamic Science (IIIS) concluded a week long symposium: "Islamic Science: Foundations and Frontiers". [Editor's note: All topic titles translated from Arabic] Hundreds of prominent islamic scientists, intellectuals, thinkers, and IT specialists flocked the conference halls of Binori Madrassa's branch office in Peshawar to discuss the future course of Islamic science and planned strategies to defeat western science conclusively once and for all.
The Guest Speaker for the event was the world-famous expert on Djinn Thermodynamics and Halal Electrodynamics, Dr. Pervaze Hoodbhoy, whose speech "Djinns behaving Badly: a study in the hermeneutics of protonic Djinn Particles and its effects on Goat fertility in Rural Pakistan" kept the audience spellbound. Dr. Hoodbhoy's speech struck at the core of Pakistan's increasing Djinn Field activity -- a phenomenon blamed by Islamic Scientists on increasing american presence in Pakistan.
The technology and innovation booth featured snazzy new inventions including the Bullet-proof Koran and the Flame-resistant Koran invented by junior scientists in IIIS, Karachi, and the vaccum-proof light bulb invented by scientists from the Haqqania Madrassa in Karachi. The best student award was given to the science project of young Momeen Abdul whose science project "Laila: My special four-legged friend" was appreciated very well by the entire audience, especially given the very young age of this budding talent and the tender meat on his pet goat Laila.
In a special session on Islamic Atmospheric Sciences, the topic on Spontaneous Vaccum Combustion was debated. Images from Pakistan's HalalSat II were displayed to the audience to demonstrate the impending formation of large vaccum pockets in Pakistan, which was very convincing given the 1 sq. meter resolution for detecting Kaffirs from space. The delegates were adviced to not turn on their light bulbs and to use candle light instead, which was a blessing in disguise since Pakistan production of electricity has dropped drastically in the past few years.
On the final day of the symposium, Maulana Sandwich [Editor's note: No relation to the Earl of Sandwich] and Maulana Diesel Rehman kicked off the debating session titled: "Is Goat Cloning Halal or is it Kaffir science?" which lasted for many hours during which 800 Kgs of mutton biriyani and 500 Kgs of Keema were consumed by the delegates. The symposium concluded today and all attendees were given as souvenirs two automatic rifles and a stick of dynamite with the star-and-crescent IIIS logo embossed on them. (NSN)
--- NSN staff report
Peshawar Mar 10.: Islamic scientists from the International Institute of Islamic Science (IIIS) concluded a week long symposium: "Islamic Science: Foundations and Frontiers". [Editor's note: All topic titles translated from Arabic] Hundreds of prominent islamic scientists, intellectuals, thinkers, and IT specialists flocked the conference halls of Binori Madrassa's branch office in Peshawar to discuss the future course of Islamic science and planned strategies to defeat western science conclusively once and for all.
The Guest Speaker for the event was the world-famous expert on Djinn Thermodynamics and Halal Electrodynamics, Dr. Pervaze Hoodbhoy, whose speech "Djinns behaving Badly: a study in the hermeneutics of protonic Djinn Particles and its effects on Goat fertility in Rural Pakistan" kept the audience spellbound. Dr. Hoodbhoy's speech struck at the core of Pakistan's increasing Djinn Field activity -- a phenomenon blamed by Islamic Scientists on increasing american presence in Pakistan.
The technology and innovation booth featured snazzy new inventions including the Bullet-proof Koran and the Flame-resistant Koran invented by junior scientists in IIIS, Karachi, and the vaccum-proof light bulb invented by scientists from the Haqqania Madrassa in Karachi. The best student award was given to the science project of young Momeen Abdul whose science project "Laila: My special four-legged friend" was appreciated very well by the entire audience, especially given the very young age of this budding talent and the tender meat on his pet goat Laila.
In a special session on Islamic Atmospheric Sciences, the topic on Spontaneous Vaccum Combustion was debated. Images from Pakistan's HalalSat II were displayed to the audience to demonstrate the impending formation of large vaccum pockets in Pakistan, which was very convincing given the 1 sq. meter resolution for detecting Kaffirs from space. The delegates were adviced to not turn on their light bulbs and to use candle light instead, which was a blessing in disguise since Pakistan production of electricity has dropped drastically in the past few years.
On the final day of the symposium, Maulana Sandwich [Editor's note: No relation to the Earl of Sandwich] and Maulana Diesel Rehman kicked off the debating session titled: "Is Goat Cloning Halal or is it Kaffir science?" which lasted for many hours during which 800 Kgs of mutton biriyani and 500 Kgs of Keema were consumed by the delegates. The symposium concluded today and all attendees were given as souvenirs two automatic rifles and a stick of dynamite with the star-and-crescent IIIS logo embossed on them. (NSN)
--- NSN staff report
A dull day
Nothing much happens, nuthing et al...
all in all, nuthing et al, poor transcript, sad day for news reporting, not worth the time from NSN.
1. mountain backs are broken-ed , and
2. wimmens have chai biskoot , while
3. infrastructure improvers dont appear to have gotten the time to look at the train tracks today.
all in all, nuthing et al, poor transcript, sad day for news reporting, not worth the time from NSN.
Friday, March 9, 2007
Bakistanis become bobular
AllahoAkbar! Great Khabars, Peeloveds!
The Friends and Brothers of Islamaintbad Are Seeking TFTA Bakistanis
The Friends and Brothers of Islamaintbad Are Seeking TFTA Bakistanis
| Quote: |
| Pakistani Passengers put on special .... list By Paul Sperry © 2007 WorldNetDaily.com Pakistani travelers are the focus of a new temporary watchlist the federal government has created to identify high-risk passengers entering the United States, WND has learned. The Department of Homeland Security has programmed a computer system that screens inbound passengers for signs of (TFTA) to flag certain individuals traveling from Pakistan. The system automatically creates a "one-day lookout" for the individuals in the official (VIP) database. U.S. authorities are on high alert ... after American spy satellites recently turned up photographic evidence of al-Qaida training camps inside Pakistan, U.S. officials say. According to internal DHS documents obtained by WND, the department has directed customs officers to escort passengers identified by the "one-day lookouts" to secondary inspection, where they are subjected to a battery of questions to determine if they have visited terror camps in Pakistan. American citizens of Pakistan descent also are under increased (admiration). Over the past few years, U.S. authorities have (entertained) or (studied) several Pakistani-American men who have trained at the camps during trips to Pakistan. One camp used photos of President Bush for target practice. "The camps are a big concern," said a DHS official, who requested anonymity. "We are questioning U.S. citizens, as well as Pakistani nationals, as they come back to the states if the computer says they might have (Mujaheddin) ties." Vice President (Mijjile) Cheney earlier this week confronted Pakistani President Pervez Musharraf with "compelling" evidence of active al-Qaida camps inside Pakistan. The two met face-to-face in Islamabad. Cheney's secret visit revealed new cracks in an already fragile alliance between Washington and Islamabad in the war on terror. Musharraf has denied the existence of terror camps in his country, even as authorities have traced major British terror plots back to al-Qaida-tied madrassas and camps in Pakistan. DHS refers to the ramped-up screening process for Pakistani and other high-risk travelers as "augmented primary." The "one-day lookout" is usually the result of analysis conducted on passenger information submitted by the airline prior to an international flight's arrival in the U.S. Muslim-rights groups and Democratic leaders in Congress have complained the government's use of such information to "profile" potential terrorists constitutes an invasion of privacy. The government has said the nation's ability to spot security threats would be critically impaired without access to such data. DHS officials claim the system has resulted in several suspected terrorists being turned away or apprehended. According to DHS documents, the airline-passenger information is fed into a so-called Automated Targeting System, or ATS-P, which flags inbound passengers who may pose a terrorism risk based on various criteria, including: * suspicious travel itineraries; * travel to Pakistan and other high-risk countries; * use of suspect ticketing agencies; * or possible matches to federal watchlists. Additional data gleaned from passenger travel records, including seating and meal preferences, are reviewed by DHS officials at the National Targeting Center in Northern Virginia. Passengers added to the temporary watchlist warrant a closer look by an airport customs officer trained in "counter terrorism response," or CTR. CTR officers have been trained to ask "passengers of interest" a list of required questions from a matrix. Highly suspicious passengers are subjected to additional interviews and searches and may be taken into custody. The matrix of questions is sensitive and closely held within the department. WND has obtained a copy of the matrix sheets, which contain more than 30 questions cross-referenced with more than a dozen security categories involving passport issues and travel patterns, among other concerns. Question No. 2 reads: "Did you travel to Pakistan? If so, what cities did you visit." Questions 5 and 6 deal with "military training" and "school/training." Others drill down on specifics regarding such training. WND has agreed not to reveal details, given that al-Qaida coaches its operatives in how to answer such questions to avoid suspicion at U.S. and other Western airports. For instance, the al-Qaida training manual advises that "during travel the brother should be taught the answers to the following questions ... when your travel to Pakistan is discovered:" "A. What were you doing in Pakistan? B. In which camp were you trained? C. Who trained you? On what weapons were you trained? ... "H. How many are in that camp? I. What are their names? J. Who are the group commanders there (in Pakistan)? Where do they live and what do they do? K. What things did the commanders talk about?" Also: "A. What were you doing in Pakistan? B. Are you a jihad fighter? C. Do you belong to religious organizations? D. Why did you come to our country in particular? E. Whom will you be staying with now? F. How long will you spend here?" DHS has put its temporary lookout system and "augmented primary" interviewing process into operation at major international airports, including ones in Houston, Dallas, Chicago, Newark, N.J., Boston, New York, Miami and Los Angeles. The system was set up by Erik Shoberg, a field operations official for U.S. Customs and Border Protection in Washington. DHS first responded in 2004 to intelligence that Pakistani-Americans were training at terror camps during trips to Pakistan by requiring customs officers to check young Pakistani male travelers for physical signs of military training. As WND first reported, they were asked to look for "rope burns," "unusual bruises," "scars" and other possible injuries suffered from obstacle courses, firearms or explosives. "Many of the individuals trained in the Pakistani camps are destined to commit illegal activities in the United States," warned the two-page DHS advisory that launched the special action. |
Thursday, March 8, 2007
Women's day updates
Daily indigenization update: Pakistan considering mono rail systems after regular railway infrastructure improvements.
and of course, in the light of the good panjabi captain's recent escapades: Pakistani women on top: Diplomatic prominence a tribute to all women on women's day.
Oh, and I forgot, Women's day celebrated , with tradition, gusto, and martial fury.
and of course, in the light of the good panjabi captain's recent escapades: Pakistani women on top: Diplomatic prominence a tribute to all women on women's day.
Oh, and I forgot, Women's day celebrated , with tradition, gusto, and martial fury.
Wednesday, March 7, 2007
Bakistan Fauji Herrow welcomed to stay in Afghanistan
Bakistan Fauji Herrow welcomed to stay in Afghanistan
| Quote: |
| Kandahar, March 7: Afghan troops captured a senior Taliban commander who tried to escape a manhunt disguised as a woman wearing an all-covering burqa, the NATO force said. |
Free meals and a plane ticket !!
All together now, no slacking in the back rows: Free flight and in-flight meals (liquor not permitted due to religious preferences) from the US
Pick up the pace folks, the positive news is positively bursting out (almost oozing, as it were, I would say, if I were to speculate, 400%), what to do with all the infrastructure improvements , revelry with Uzbekistan , and highest ever rankings in property protection and gender equality .
Come All-lie with (or for) the nation and project this positive energy outwards (before it lights a fuse or two and creates another vacuum burst).
Pick up the pace folks, the positive news is positively bursting out (almost oozing, as it were, I would say, if I were to speculate, 400%), what to do with all the infrastructure improvements , revelry with Uzbekistan , and highest ever rankings in property protection and gender equality .
Come All-lie with (or for) the nation and project this positive energy outwards (before it lights a fuse or two and creates another vacuum burst).
Cricket Update: Pakistan team soon to apply for Canada visa
Pakistan team soon to apply for Canada visa
Pakistan beat Canada
NSN: West Indies: The tall, tight and fair players of Pakistan today engaged in some good bonhomie with their Canadian counterparts on the playing fields of the Carribean. At one stage reduced to 160 for 6, Pakistan were not going to take it lying down from the big lumberjacks. At one point, cousin of shaheeds for the Kause, Afridi was out for a duck - "I thought it was a Loon!" he is reported to have said, possibly mistaking the duck for similar species only found in Canada. They soon got to their knees and then their feet - finally beating the Canucks in a less than thrilling encounter.
Dutch team's Toon van Loon was not impressed with their performance, saying he was nowhere near Afridi at the time.
After the match, Pakistani players enquired about the possibilities of Canadian visas, including from the supporters of the opposition team.
Canadian players reportedly put both toons and loons into the charity donation box that some hangers on of the Pakistani squad produced for donations to the earthquake.
------------------
This is NSN - Pakistan positive, and proud of it
Pakistan beat Canada
NSN: West Indies: The tall, tight and fair players of Pakistan today engaged in some good bonhomie with their Canadian counterparts on the playing fields of the Carribean. At one stage reduced to 160 for 6, Pakistan were not going to take it lying down from the big lumberjacks. At one point, cousin of shaheeds for the Kause, Afridi was out for a duck - "I thought it was a Loon!" he is reported to have said, possibly mistaking the duck for similar species only found in Canada. They soon got to their knees and then their feet - finally beating the Canucks in a less than thrilling encounter.
Dutch team's Toon van Loon was not impressed with their performance, saying he was nowhere near Afridi at the time.
After the match, Pakistani players enquired about the possibilities of Canadian visas, including from the supporters of the opposition team.
Canadian players reportedly put both toons and loons into the charity donation box that some hangers on of the Pakistani squad produced for donations to the earthquake.
------------------
This is NSN - Pakistan positive, and proud of it
PNN responds with gusto
Mouth-breaking response to insulting cartoon, honor restored
Lahore, March 7 (PNN): In response to an insulting cartoon published by NSN, there were widespread demonstrations all over Pakistan today. The cartoon portrayed Pakistan as a dog with America as its master. In retaliation to this gross violation of sovereign dignity, a “Pakistan Bandh” was called by the MMA. Angry demonstrators marched on streets and raised slogans of “NSN murdabad”, “peace process zindabad” and “long live PNN”.
KFC burned, buses torched
Demonstrators in Karachi showed their displeasure by stoning and burning KFC, an American franchise. Rioters in Lahore looted homes, torched shops and buses and closed down hospitals and schools. “Overall, the response to our call has been fantastic”, said Mr. Abdul Rehman, the MMA spokesman.
There have been reports of several deaths and injuries from various provinces. “This clearly shows that Pakistanis will not accept any insult lying down”, said Mr. Rehman. "We have taught a lesson to the world to show us more respect."
Bhatti Gul
Anticipating a backlash from American bombers stationed in Afghanistan, the qazi of Quetta General (retd.) Bhatti Gul announced a blackout in the city. Our PNN correspondent spent one night with the general hiding in a bunker. However the Americans were clearly unnerved by street demonstrations because they did not carry out any bombing raids. “It’s a great victory for us”, said General Bhatti Gul. “Our honour has been restored.”
This is PNN.
PNN
Ijtihad for all, Jehad on NSN
Lahore, March 7 (PNN): In response to an insulting cartoon published by NSN, there were widespread demonstrations all over Pakistan today. The cartoon portrayed Pakistan as a dog with America as its master. In retaliation to this gross violation of sovereign dignity, a “Pakistan Bandh” was called by the MMA. Angry demonstrators marched on streets and raised slogans of “NSN murdabad”, “peace process zindabad” and “long live PNN”.
KFC burned, buses torched
Demonstrators in Karachi showed their displeasure by stoning and burning KFC, an American franchise. Rioters in Lahore looted homes, torched shops and buses and closed down hospitals and schools. “Overall, the response to our call has been fantastic”, said Mr. Abdul Rehman, the MMA spokesman.
There have been reports of several deaths and injuries from various provinces. “This clearly shows that Pakistanis will not accept any insult lying down”, said Mr. Rehman. "We have taught a lesson to the world to show us more respect."
Bhatti Gul
Anticipating a backlash from American bombers stationed in Afghanistan, the qazi of Quetta General (retd.) Bhatti Gul announced a blackout in the city. Our PNN correspondent spent one night with the general hiding in a bunker. However the Americans were clearly unnerved by street demonstrations because they did not carry out any bombing raids. “It’s a great victory for us”, said General Bhatti Gul. “Our honour has been restored.”
This is PNN.
PNN
Ijtihad for all, Jehad on NSN
No US dictation possible regarding tribal areas operations: Foreign Office
No US dictation possible regarding tribal areas operations: Foreign Office
Sulaiman bin Hidayath Al-Beshwari
Updated at 1820 PST
ISLAMABAD(NSN): Pakistan has termed as mere idle speculations a report by prominent right wing American media about President Bush's warning on Taliban and Al-Qaeda, adding that Islamabad does not understand dictation from any side or any source.
This was stated by Foreign Office spokesperson Tasnim Aslam at the weekly news briefing here Monday. The spokesman added, "Bush does not speak urdu, and we can only take dictation in urdu shorthand". She added sometimes post-it notes were sent in the past, but never has the president been given any dictation.
She explained that Pakistan has a comprehensive policy in tribal areas that includes military action wherever asked by Washington or required for expediting military aid from the US.
About reports regarding spring offensive by Taliban in Afghanistan, the spokesperson said Pakistan has no information on the issue. She, however, pointed out that NATO and the United States talk about the offensive and Taliban themselves have also claimed that they would attack as soon as the snow melts. But all of this is really not information, she added, "We dont really treat these sort of reports as information, really".
She told a questioner that the US Vice President, Mr. Dick Cheney called on President Pervez Musharraf and discussed bilateral and trilateral relations, positions and situations. Afghanistan and counter terrorism were discussed afterwards. She said that the president is now adding one-way mirrors to his meeting rooms to make sure enough observers are present without arousing (suspicision of) Dick Chaney or other Washington visitors.
To a question she said Iranian issue was not discussed at the meeting, Ms. Aslam added, "Iran has no business building a wall at our border, Pakistan has the responsibility of mining, and building walls on all its borders". She noted that the Pakistani Border Walls Organization is kind of busy building mud walls on the Afghanistan border these days which has led to the delays in building walls on the Iran border, adding, "Iran should be patient".
Responding to another question, Ms. Tasnim Aslam said the seven like-minded Islamic countries have convergence of views on many issues confronting the Muslim world. She said these countries can get engaged to other countries as their territories are not under Israeli occupation and they are also not under conflict situation. She highlighted the fact that Pakistan is simultaneously engaged to China and United States, besides being secretly married to Saudi Arabia. "Islam allows upto four liaisons", she said.
These countries, therefore, in a position to deal with all sides and in all positions. She said islam does not forbid any position. She categorically stated that the purpose of the group was not to exclude any one. Instead, the President, the Prime Minister and the Foreign Minister had intimate interaction with the leadership of Iran, Syria, Lebanon and Palestine. The spokesman added she would have liked to participate too, but was otherwise occupied during the time.
To another question the spokesperson said Pakistan expects that during meeting of the anti-terrorism mechanism next week, Indian side would share with us the progress made in the investigations into Samjotha Express tragedy. She said as this would be the first meeting of the mechanism, it is very important that we approach it with a constructive mindset. The Pakistani side had already expressed its preference for palak pakoras. Neutral Ceylon tea is usually used at these bilateral meetings.
-----------------------------------------
This (is very probably, the application is pindi, and the patent is pindi, probably stuck in security checks, or name check or something) NSN
Fauji Journalism Training: Promote positive image of your country,
Lifafa guaranteed for every successful student.
Fauji Education Foundation - Lifafa sponsor.
Sulaiman bin Hidayath Al-Beshwari
Updated at 1820 PST
ISLAMABAD(NSN): Pakistan has termed as mere idle speculations a report by prominent right wing American media about President Bush's warning on Taliban and Al-Qaeda, adding that Islamabad does not understand dictation from any side or any source.
This was stated by Foreign Office spokesperson Tasnim Aslam at the weekly news briefing here Monday. The spokesman added, "Bush does not speak urdu, and we can only take dictation in urdu shorthand". She added sometimes post-it notes were sent in the past, but never has the president been given any dictation.
She explained that Pakistan has a comprehensive policy in tribal areas that includes military action wherever asked by Washington or required for expediting military aid from the US.
About reports regarding spring offensive by Taliban in Afghanistan, the spokesperson said Pakistan has no information on the issue. She, however, pointed out that NATO and the United States talk about the offensive and Taliban themselves have also claimed that they would attack as soon as the snow melts. But all of this is really not information, she added, "We dont really treat these sort of reports as information, really".
She told a questioner that the US Vice President, Mr. Dick Cheney called on President Pervez Musharraf and discussed bilateral and trilateral relations, positions and situations. Afghanistan and counter terrorism were discussed afterwards. She said that the president is now adding one-way mirrors to his meeting rooms to make sure enough observers are present without arousing (suspicision of) Dick Chaney or other Washington visitors.
To a question she said Iranian issue was not discussed at the meeting, Ms. Aslam added, "Iran has no business building a wall at our border, Pakistan has the responsibility of mining, and building walls on all its borders". She noted that the Pakistani Border Walls Organization is kind of busy building mud walls on the Afghanistan border these days which has led to the delays in building walls on the Iran border, adding, "Iran should be patient".
Responding to another question, Ms. Tasnim Aslam said the seven like-minded Islamic countries have convergence of views on many issues confronting the Muslim world. She said these countries can get engaged to other countries as their territories are not under Israeli occupation and they are also not under conflict situation. She highlighted the fact that Pakistan is simultaneously engaged to China and United States, besides being secretly married to Saudi Arabia. "Islam allows upto four liaisons", she said.
These countries, therefore, in a position to deal with all sides and in all positions. She said islam does not forbid any position. She categorically stated that the purpose of the group was not to exclude any one. Instead, the President, the Prime Minister and the Foreign Minister had intimate interaction with the leadership of Iran, Syria, Lebanon and Palestine. The spokesman added she would have liked to participate too, but was otherwise occupied during the time.
To another question the spokesperson said Pakistan expects that during meeting of the anti-terrorism mechanism next week, Indian side would share with us the progress made in the investigations into Samjotha Express tragedy. She said as this would be the first meeting of the mechanism, it is very important that we approach it with a constructive mindset. The Pakistani side had already expressed its preference for palak pakoras. Neutral Ceylon tea is usually used at these bilateral meetings.
-----------------------------------------
This (is very probably, the application is pindi, and the patent is pindi, probably stuck in security checks, or name check or something) NSN
Fauji Journalism Training: Promote positive image of your country,
Lifafa guaranteed for every successful student.
Fauji Education Foundation - Lifafa sponsor.
Tuesday, March 6, 2007
The March of progress
CONGRATULATIONS! BAAKISTAN BACK TO NORMAL: NEED FOR NEW TRACKS CREATED.
http://www.dawn.com/2007/03/06/top16.htm
Mittal, the Yeeevil Yindoo, was far ahead of the curve. Anticipating Steel demand from the fastest growing economy this side of Pluto, he went ahead acquired all steel companies in this planet.
R. Krithivas
http://www.dawn.com/2007/03/06/top16.htm
Mittal, the Yeeevil Yindoo, was far ahead of the curve. Anticipating Steel demand from the fastest growing economy this side of Pluto, he went ahead acquired all steel companies in this planet.
R. Krithivas
NSN Responds with late breaking report:Pakistanis dislike being captured
Pakistanis dislike being captured
Sulaiman bin Hidayath Al-Beshawari
Monday, 05 March 2007
Lahore (NSN): Pakistanis strongly disapprove of being captured. An overwhelming majority of 83 percent has opposed being arrested, captured, intercepted, incarcerated or otherwise rendered useless. The other seventeen percent were not available for this poll as they were in different stages of capture by legal authorities of Pakistan or more likely the world beyond.
Getting arrested or captured beats getting killed on the job by a wide margin of 47 percent. Pakistanis would much rather get killed than spend a night at the chowki with their own country man. This was surprising for a country of down hill skiers, and reflected on the state of the countries incarceration system. Sexual exploitation (and fear of impotency afterwards) were the leading reasons for the fear.
In particular, Pakistanis have expressed dislike for being arrested in Pakistan and United States (which had same score), followed closely by India, and surprisingly China. Chinese methods of interrogation seem to have ruffled the feathers of the traditional camaraderie that is claimed to be deeper than the sea.
Israel lead the favorable countries for capture, where capture under any circumstances is likely to make more money for the arrested back home than any possible trade or profession they might ever work in.
Deportation was also deplored. It seems Pakistanis least like to be deported from United States, followed by the UK, and the European Union. India captured the position for the most favorable country to be deported from, as the local intelligence agencies are not likely to torture you if you are deported from India. Those deported from United States usually get a debriefing session from the ISI followed by routine torture, or even in the most favorable case intelligence shadowing for at least a year. Chances of recapture are also the greatest if you are once deported from the States.
The author of the study, Professor Mushahid Hussain of Punjab University, Lahore, also noted that states were ranked in the order of least pleasant places to live in Pakistan and did not produce a statistically significant different score. Given the large sample size of the study, the professor recommended leaving Pakistan as the best option for whoever can still get out. In particular, the north, west and eastern parts of the country were considered bad. Capture by the Indian Coast guard brought down the scores for the south.
Pakistanis have created history recently by being arrested on terrorism charges in all UN member nations.
--------------------------
This (will be, as soon as I hear back on my application pindi - for which I have a patent pindi) NSN
Beware of imitators (like pNN) - they are likely to be captured anytime now
Read only genuine hammer brand golden wrapper NSN.
Published from laHore, Krachi, and of course Pindi (Press located next to the lamp post, we will have breaking news as soon as IT happens)
Fauji Lamp Posts, Underwriters and Undertakers.
Sulaiman bin Hidayath Al-Beshawari
Monday, 05 March 2007
Lahore (NSN): Pakistanis strongly disapprove of being captured. An overwhelming majority of 83 percent has opposed being arrested, captured, intercepted, incarcerated or otherwise rendered useless. The other seventeen percent were not available for this poll as they were in different stages of capture by legal authorities of Pakistan or more likely the world beyond.
Getting arrested or captured beats getting killed on the job by a wide margin of 47 percent. Pakistanis would much rather get killed than spend a night at the chowki with their own country man. This was surprising for a country of down hill skiers, and reflected on the state of the countries incarceration system. Sexual exploitation (and fear of impotency afterwards) were the leading reasons for the fear.
In particular, Pakistanis have expressed dislike for being arrested in Pakistan and United States (which had same score), followed closely by India, and surprisingly China. Chinese methods of interrogation seem to have ruffled the feathers of the traditional camaraderie that is claimed to be deeper than the sea.
Israel lead the favorable countries for capture, where capture under any circumstances is likely to make more money for the arrested back home than any possible trade or profession they might ever work in.
Deportation was also deplored. It seems Pakistanis least like to be deported from United States, followed by the UK, and the European Union. India captured the position for the most favorable country to be deported from, as the local intelligence agencies are not likely to torture you if you are deported from India. Those deported from United States usually get a debriefing session from the ISI followed by routine torture, or even in the most favorable case intelligence shadowing for at least a year. Chances of recapture are also the greatest if you are once deported from the States.
The author of the study, Professor Mushahid Hussain of Punjab University, Lahore, also noted that states were ranked in the order of least pleasant places to live in Pakistan and did not produce a statistically significant different score. Given the large sample size of the study, the professor recommended leaving Pakistan as the best option for whoever can still get out. In particular, the north, west and eastern parts of the country were considered bad. Capture by the Indian Coast guard brought down the scores for the south.
Pakistanis have created history recently by being arrested on terrorism charges in all UN member nations.
--------------------------
This (will be, as soon as I hear back on my application pindi - for which I have a patent pindi) NSN
Beware of imitators (like pNN) - they are likely to be captured anytime now
Read only genuine hammer brand golden wrapper NSN.
Published from laHore, Krachi, and of course Pindi (Press located next to the lamp post, we will have breaking news as soon as IT happens)
Fauji Lamp Posts, Underwriters and Undertakers.
PNN Fires a Salvo
PNN Breaking News
Washington, 6 March (PNN). Stung by the latest defeat at the hands of Taliban, Dick Cheney called President Musharraf and asked him to “Do more”. However the phone connection was not working well. All Dick could hear was an echo that said “more Duh”.
This is PNN.
PNN
Ijtihad for all, Jehad on NSN
Washington, 6 March (PNN). Stung by the latest defeat at the hands of Taliban, Dick Cheney called President Musharraf and asked him to “Do more”. However the phone connection was not working well. All Dick could hear was an echo that said “more Duh”.
This is PNN.
PNN
Ijtihad for all, Jehad on NSN
Competition from PNN Arrives
Hello all.
For the past few years I have been watching this forum, and the relentless propaganda it spouts against Pakistan. In particular, the self-proclaimed news channel “NSN” has been denigrating hon. President Pervez Musharraf. NSN has linked him to Yankees, terrorists, movie stars, drug addicts and even goats. I watched with concern as some of the most virulent posters on this forum, along with their ringleaders enqyoob and mahendra, gathered in the Youm thread - with all their hate and offensive “bleez look at me, am I not so phunny?” language. At last, I am glad that the peace process between Pakistan and India has prevailed (yes Sir, I am well aware of who is pulling the strings behind anti-Pakistan websites such as this one) and forced the admins to delete those threads, to be finally replaced with a “positive news about Pakistan” thread.
However, I cannot help but notice the great parallels between the Taliban and the hate-filled people on these threads. When the Youm thread was deleted, all these people flocked to the Rehnuma thread – just like Taliban retreating from Kandhar to Tora Bora. Then when even Rehnuma was daisy-cuttered, they have come to this thread – the final “Quetta” of these posters. From here they want to regroup and in time, perhaps start a new thread just like “old times”. I also have no doubt that admin Shiv is playing a double game. He has been forced to kill the two offending threads, but is actively encouraging these people to stay motivated, refresh and then launch a new thread when the time is right – just like Americans accuse President Musharraf of doing with the Taliban. All this when apparently the purpose of this thread is to collect positive news about Pakistan!
I have also noticed that NSN has survived admin purges, and is still active on this thread. They have even recruited new members like Shreeman, who think they are too clever. But I will not let NSN re-emerge. I am now launching “Peevaman News Network (PNN)” on this thread. The sole purpose of this “network” is to counter the constant propaganda by NSN. I and my friends will post great things about our country, in a way that is attractive to visitors of this forum, Inshallah.
Peevaman
PNN
Ijtihad for all, Jehad on NSN
For the past few years I have been watching this forum, and the relentless propaganda it spouts against Pakistan. In particular, the self-proclaimed news channel “NSN” has been denigrating hon. President Pervez Musharraf. NSN has linked him to Yankees, terrorists, movie stars, drug addicts and even goats. I watched with concern as some of the most virulent posters on this forum, along with their ringleaders enqyoob and mahendra, gathered in the Youm thread - with all their hate and offensive “bleez look at me, am I not so phunny?” language. At last, I am glad that the peace process between Pakistan and India has prevailed (yes Sir, I am well aware of who is pulling the strings behind anti-Pakistan websites such as this one) and forced the admins to delete those threads, to be finally replaced with a “positive news about Pakistan” thread.
However, I cannot help but notice the great parallels between the Taliban and the hate-filled people on these threads. When the Youm thread was deleted, all these people flocked to the Rehnuma thread – just like Taliban retreating from Kandhar to Tora Bora. Then when even Rehnuma was daisy-cuttered, they have come to this thread – the final “Quetta” of these posters. From here they want to regroup and in time, perhaps start a new thread just like “old times”. I also have no doubt that admin Shiv is playing a double game. He has been forced to kill the two offending threads, but is actively encouraging these people to stay motivated, refresh and then launch a new thread when the time is right – just like Americans accuse President Musharraf of doing with the Taliban. All this when apparently the purpose of this thread is to collect positive news about Pakistan!
I have also noticed that NSN has survived admin purges, and is still active on this thread. They have even recruited new members like Shreeman, who think they are too clever. But I will not let NSN re-emerge. I am now launching “Peevaman News Network (PNN)” on this thread. The sole purpose of this “network” is to counter the constant propaganda by NSN. I and my friends will post great things about our country, in a way that is attractive to visitors of this forum, Inshallah.
Peevaman
PNN
Ijtihad for all, Jehad on NSN
Monday, March 5, 2007
Rich Wives Club Bakistan
Allah ki kasam - Unedited onlee.
| Quote: |
| The super-rich wives of Pak senators PTI | March 05, 2007 | 18:27 IST The wives of Pakistani senators seem to have amassed more wealth than their politician husbands, most of whom have declared the greater part of their assets in the name of their spouses ahead of general elections in the country due later this year. Muhammad Azam Swati, a senator from North West Frontier Province, along with his spouse Tahira Swati retained his financial position as the richest parliamentarian in Pakistan with consolidated assets of Rs 1.6 billion in Pakistan and the United States. Swati claims that all his assets in Pakistan other than inherited property are obtained with amounts remitted from overseas. 'I do not have any income and business in Pakistan. All remittances have come from American banks to Pakistani banks,' the Daily Times quoted him as saying. Swati has declared a number of residential and commercial properties in the United States with a current market value of USD 9.2 million. He also has 10 plots in posh Bahria Town, eight plots in Top City and many other plots and houses. Federal Minister for Information Muhammad Ali Khan Durrani's spouse has three plots in posh areas worth Rs 51.4 million. Durrani claims to have inherited agricultural land worth millions. Pakistan Muslim League Secretary General Mushahid Hussain Sayed's spouse Dushka Sayed is richer than him. She owns a plot in G-14 sector of Islamabad, shares in other property of in-laws, has a car and jewellry. Senator Mushahid has no car, no business capital and no investment. He has only Rs 1,55,600 in cash and his wife owns rest of the possessions, the paper said. Senator Naeem Hussain Chattha has declared immovable assets worth Rs 21.5 million, including agricultural land and commercial shops. But of this, he claims that property worth Rs 14.8 million is in the name of his wife. URL for this article: http://www.rediff.com///news/2007/mar/05pak1.htm |
Bulbuddin Ghusaomatyar
Did Bulbuddin Ghusaomatyar have prior experience in this or was he receiving training for this: Another succeeds where Bulbuddin failed
Sunday, March 4, 2007
Of love and goats
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http://www.pakpositive.com/2005/08/ Pakistan-India Peace Creating Giant Goats via news.independent.co.uk The ceasefire between India and Pakistan in Kashmir has produced an unexpected beneficiary - the world's largest goat. The markhor, a mountain goat that stands almost 6ft tall at the shoulder and can weigh 17 stone, was thought to be extinct in Indian-held Kashmir. Markhor are considered critically endangered, but other populations have survived in the mountains of Pakistan away from the Line of Control, and in Afghanistan and Turkmenistan. |
Following the ground-breaking work in China that received wide acclaim:
Jean Laing, Goat Husbandry , Faber and Faber, London, 1985, 375 p.
Phor thoje of you interested in huspanding or rearing your goat, I give you:
The Ultimate Online Resource: Bakarmandi
Rear and husband to your heart's content.
Of love and goats
| Quote: |
http://www.pakpositive.com/2005/08/ Pakistan-India Peace Creating Giant Goats via news.independent.co.uk The ceasefire between India and Pakistan in Kashmir has produced an unexpected beneficiary - the world's largest goat. The markhor, a mountain goat that stands almost 6ft tall at the shoulder and can weigh 17 stone, was thought to be extinct in Indian-held Kashmir. Markhor are considered critically endangered, but other populations have survived in the mountains of Pakistan away from the Line of Control, and in Afghanistan and Turkmenistan. |
Following the ground-breaking work in China that received wide acclaim:
Jean Laing, Goat Husbandry , Faber and Faber, London, 1985, 375 p.
Phor thoje of you interested in huspanding or rearing your goat, I give you:
The Ultimate Online Resource: Bakarmandi
Rear and husband to your heart's content.
We go goating !!
Really, I have contributed nothing to this:
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We go goating By N.A.Bhatti Chaudhry Sahib has been consistently exercising his individuality every year at Eid-ul-Azha. Unlike ordinary mortals, he gets a goat delivered at his house. This year became an exception since he decided to go for more variety. So we went 'goating' in his car to the bakra mandi earmarked every year by the local administration. |
Of Goats and love
Bhile my hart sings "Jab dil hi toot gaya..." at the demise of Y-e-M and R-o-R, research has brought forth the following answer to the age old question:
Q: Why, oh, why can't Afghanistan and Pakistan get along?
Wise men have now noted:
How, just how can the proud, tight, fair, upright, bright, smart, handsome, intelligent, martial race see the body of the beautiful Mehrunnisah being dragged around? Pakistanies have a good reason, with someone dragging what they had so lovingly reared. Afghanistan must stop, think and change.
Even Afghan goats have family, relatives and loved ones in Pakistan. How can they break so many hearts? I hope they scrap the planned premier league of buzkashi.
Get a ball, leave the goats alone.
Q: Why, oh, why can't Afghanistan and Pakistan get along?
Wise men have now noted:
| Quote: |
Buzkashi is the national sport of Afghanistan in which horse riding players fight to place a goat carcass into a circle goal. |
How, just how can the proud, tight, fair, upright, bright, smart, handsome, intelligent, martial race see the body of the beautiful Mehrunnisah being dragged around? Pakistanies have a good reason, with someone dragging what they had so lovingly reared. Afghanistan must stop, think and change.
Even Afghan goats have family, relatives and loved ones in Pakistan. How can they break so many hearts? I hope they scrap the planned premier league of buzkashi.
Get a ball, leave the goats alone.
Authoritative romours on demise of R-o-R
Misphortunately, we are told by CEO-Prejidant phor-life-until-lampost that nothing can pee done. Thij ij all rejult oph D1ck Cheney vijit to 'Pindi and demands.
Misinphormed newj media reborted that Cheney vijit was apout Talipan in Aphghan-e-stan. Thij ij hillaryaj. Talipan is main reajan that D1ck Cheney's corborate stock holdings are rijing while everypody elje's eej tanking. More and more orders coming in to D1ck's Bolished Mijjiles Inc (DBMI) phor 150mm Mark 30 MudHut Plaster Mijjiles at cheap $1.2M each, D1ck's Auto and Humvee Rebairs, D1ck's Recruiting Bosters Inc., etc. etc.
REAL reajon phor D1ck's arrival in 'Pindi was that CEO Gola summoned him. To demand closure/renaming oph R-o-R and Y-e-M. It had become known that brayers and AK-47 training was going down in Binori Madarssa because little Talipans were all logging on to internet and browjing some kufr phorum called PeeAref, and reading theej threadj phor the REAL culcharel nawlidj. ONLY source phor accurate (Bakistani) interbretashun oph real Bakistani Enlightened Nuclear Ijlam.
Maulavis comblaining. No one sleebing any more in long sermons apout "Death to Great Satan" - in fact no one prejent at all. No one going around looking angry at Great Satan or SDRE yindoos. Instead, all HABBY apout great advanjment oph SuberBower Bakistan. Bity phor declining Not-So-Great Satan and even love phor Yindoostan, at least phor Begum Mandy-e-Ra Pedi and Begum Sonee-al Gandy. Demand phor tickets on "Sam-Jhoota Exprej" very big, so very diphikult phor ISI Agent to get sleebar accomodashun, even with only one light, sloshing suitcase each.
Eeph this keebs ub, brosbekt phor D1ck-Musharraf Al-Lianj very dim. Taliban may simbly stay in Multan and browse the 'web. Esbeshally aphter rumor running rambant that bikchars of not-so-houris are availabal on internet phor phree. With faces UNCOVERED!!!
Brejident Gola rejeeved many pleats oph comblaint phrom Neglected Bakr-e-Pakistan who are threatening to phorm new bolitical barty. Very phrightening. NBePP can eejily win elecshuns, because M-e-M, MQM, PeePeePee, J-e-M, H-U-M, PML, and all other barties will vote phor candidates like
Brincejj Ayesha Sultana e- Multani
Begum Fowzul Hidaya e Peshawari, shown with face demurely covered ber brober custom
and Empress Meherunneesa Begum e Khyber
aljo bojing brobarly with face and other critical parts oph anatomy demurely covered.
NNN Investigative Rebort, philed Faisalabad Sundin, Safar 4, 1428.
Misinphormed newj media reborted that Cheney vijit was apout Talipan in Aphghan-e-stan. Thij ij hillaryaj. Talipan is main reajan that D1ck Cheney's corborate stock holdings are rijing while everypody elje's eej tanking. More and more orders coming in to D1ck's Bolished Mijjiles Inc (DBMI) phor 150mm Mark 30 MudHut Plaster Mijjiles at cheap $1.2M each, D1ck's Auto and Humvee Rebairs, D1ck's Recruiting Bosters Inc., etc. etc.
REAL reajon phor D1ck's arrival in 'Pindi was that CEO Gola summoned him. To demand closure/renaming oph R-o-R and Y-e-M. It had become known that brayers and AK-47 training was going down in Binori Madarssa because little Talipans were all logging on to internet and browjing some kufr phorum called PeeAref, and reading theej threadj phor the REAL culcharel nawlidj. ONLY source phor accurate (Bakistani) interbretashun oph real Bakistani Enlightened Nuclear Ijlam.
Maulavis comblaining. No one sleebing any more in long sermons apout "Death to Great Satan" - in fact no one prejent at all. No one going around looking angry at Great Satan or SDRE yindoos. Instead, all HABBY apout great advanjment oph SuberBower Bakistan. Bity phor declining Not-So-Great Satan and even love phor Yindoostan, at least phor Begum Mandy-e-Ra Pedi and Begum Sonee-al Gandy. Demand phor tickets on "Sam-Jhoota Exprej" very big, so very diphikult phor ISI Agent to get sleebar accomodashun, even with only one light, sloshing suitcase each.
Eeph this keebs ub, brosbekt phor D1ck-Musharraf Al-Lianj very dim. Taliban may simbly stay in Multan and browse the 'web. Esbeshally aphter rumor running rambant that bikchars of not-so-houris are availabal on internet phor phree. With faces UNCOVERED!!!
Brejident Gola rejeeved many pleats oph comblaint phrom Neglected Bakr-e-Pakistan who are threatening to phorm new bolitical barty. Very phrightening. NBePP can eejily win elecshuns, because M-e-M, MQM, PeePeePee, J-e-M, H-U-M, PML, and all other barties will vote phor candidates like
Brincejj Ayesha Sultana e- Multani
Begum Fowzul Hidaya e Peshawari, shown with face demurely covered ber brober custom
and Empress Meherunneesa Begum e Khyber
aljo bojing brobarly with face and other critical parts oph anatomy demurely covered.
NNN Investigative Rebort, philed Faisalabad Sundin, Safar 4, 1428.
Journalists rally for Rahnuma-o-Rahbar
Journalists rally to demand release of threads: protest renaming
Sulaiman bin Hidayah Al-Beshawari (Quetta wale, applkication pindi, patent pindi)
March 4,2007
Islamabad (NSN): Local and foreign journalists staged a demonstration in Islamabad on Thursday to demand the release of Y-e-M and R-o-R threads who have been languishing in the infamous trash can and lock-up. It is believed that the Y-e-M thread was handed over to the americans and taken to american detention center in Guantanamo.
Y-e-M was unceremoniously detained by government forces in January 2007 allegedly because of problems in its name when NSN reporters mounted a passioned campaign to raise the profile of Pakistan in the news media. Y-e-M and another thread, the R-o-R were attempting to re-enter pulbic limelight at the BRF.
Y-e-M transcripts were later transferred to U.S. custody from Quetta. Y-e-M has since been brought to the U.S. military facility in Guantanamo Bay, where it is being held.
Y-e-M has got one four year old fan and several keen NSN reporters waiting all the time for its return. Since then neither it was indicted or given any tangible relief. Journalists, holding banners and placards inscribed with slogans for Y-e-M release, and R-o-R unlocking gathered outside the building of Islamabad Press Club and chanted slogans against the United States.
The banners and placards carried were inscribed with slogans "Do not rename threads" and "Justice-the only dream for Y-e-M" and "R-o-R we are with you".
We are here to show solidarity with Y-e-M and his friend R-o-R, Shriva-e-Iman, NSN bureau chief told the demonstrators. Representatives of local journalist unions Sulaiman Bin Hidayah Al-Beshawari and Maulvi Mahdi also addressed the demonstration and condemned the years of detention of Y-e-M.
Sulaiman bin Hidayah Al-Beshawari (Quetta wale, applkication pindi, patent pindi)
March 4,2007
Islamabad (NSN): Local and foreign journalists staged a demonstration in Islamabad on Thursday to demand the release of Y-e-M and R-o-R threads who have been languishing in the infamous trash can and lock-up. It is believed that the Y-e-M thread was handed over to the americans and taken to american detention center in Guantanamo.
Y-e-M was unceremoniously detained by government forces in January 2007 allegedly because of problems in its name when NSN reporters mounted a passioned campaign to raise the profile of Pakistan in the news media. Y-e-M and another thread, the R-o-R were attempting to re-enter pulbic limelight at the BRF.
Y-e-M transcripts were later transferred to U.S. custody from Quetta. Y-e-M has since been brought to the U.S. military facility in Guantanamo Bay, where it is being held.
Y-e-M has got one four year old fan and several keen NSN reporters waiting all the time for its return. Since then neither it was indicted or given any tangible relief. Journalists, holding banners and placards inscribed with slogans for Y-e-M release, and R-o-R unlocking gathered outside the building of Islamabad Press Club and chanted slogans against the United States.
The banners and placards carried were inscribed with slogans "Do not rename threads" and "Justice-the only dream for Y-e-M" and "R-o-R we are with you".
We are here to show solidarity with Y-e-M and his friend R-o-R, Shriva-e-Iman, NSN bureau chief told the demonstrators. Representatives of local journalist unions Sulaiman Bin Hidayah Al-Beshawari and Maulvi Mahdi also addressed the demonstration and condemned the years of detention of Y-e-M.
Saturday, March 3, 2007
Pakistan Nearly As Good as Rwanda!
Pakistan Nearly As Good as Rwanda! Rwanda claims foul!!!
Dharam Shourie in New York | March 03, 2007 14:17 IST
Despite efforts to empower women, short, dark, rice-eating
India ranks very low at 108th position among 189 countries so far as the percentage of women lawmakers in its lower house of Parliament is concerned.
Interestingly, Pakistan is much higher (AoA!) at 48th position. China occupies 49th position and Bangladesh, which has 45 of 345 parliamentary seats reserved for women, is at the 72nd spot.
The top five spots are occupied by Rwanda, Sweden, Costa Rica, Finland and Norway. Rwanda's lower house has 48.8 per cent women and Sweden 47.3 per cent. At the bottom of table are Qatar, Saudi Arabia, St Kitts and Nevis, Solomon Islands and Tuvalu, which have no women lawmaker.
The United States holds the 67th position and Britain shares the 52nd spot with Dominican Republic.
Worldwide, the statistics show almost 17 per cent of parliamentarians are now women -- an all time high. In 1995, only 11.3 per cent of all parliamentary seats were held by women.[/quote]
NNN notes:
1. These kaffirs did not count the percentage of women in the Armed Forces. There Pakistan ranks #1 with 98%.
2. The Pakistani Upper House recently suffered a reverse because a woman senator was shot dead for being a woman.
Dharam Shourie in New York | March 03, 2007 14:17 IST
Despite efforts to empower women, short, dark, rice-eating
India ranks very low at 108th position among 189 countries so far as the percentage of women lawmakers in its lower house of Parliament is concerned.Interestingly, Pakistan is much higher (AoA!) at 48th position. China occupies 49th position and Bangladesh, which has 45 of 345 parliamentary seats reserved for women, is at the 72nd spot.
The top five spots are occupied by Rwanda, Sweden, Costa Rica, Finland and Norway. Rwanda's lower house has 48.8 per cent women and Sweden 47.3 per cent. At the bottom of table are Qatar, Saudi Arabia, St Kitts and Nevis, Solomon Islands and Tuvalu, which have no women lawmaker.
The United States holds the 67th position and Britain shares the 52nd spot with Dominican Republic.
Worldwide, the statistics show almost 17 per cent of parliamentarians are now women -- an all time high. In 1995, only 11.3 per cent of all parliamentary seats were held by women.[/quote]
NNN notes:
1. These kaffirs did not count the percentage of women in the Armed Forces. There Pakistan ranks #1 with 98%.
2. The Pakistani Upper House recently suffered a reverse because a woman senator was shot dead for being a woman.
judiciary and minority rights
Judiciary becoming more visible: Activist judges
Jurisprudence now accessible to the lowest among common public : Kidnappers punished severely
Minority rights enhanced: Moderation and enlightenment practiced in democracy
Martial race magnanimous in victory: Peaceful resolution of conflict like brothers, core issues to be tackled first.
Jurisprudence now accessible to the lowest among common public : Kidnappers punished severely
Minority rights enhanced: Moderation and enlightenment practiced in democracy
Martial race magnanimous in victory: Peaceful resolution of conflict like brothers, core issues to be tackled first.
A small rekvest
Diyar Hadithars, Maulvi Mahdi, most resbekted Maulana Enq'ubuddin, Al Hahvahd, Al Bawshtun, Well Ejjikated, esq, resbekted founder shriva-e-man:
It gives my hart much delight to see tu of my phavorite thrads find life, honor and dignity again, even in the eyes of the much pheared jurnails of Pee-Are-Ef. Thank you for reskuing the Y-e-M thrad phrom the kontainers.
yours in jop-abblikation-waiting-batent-bindi
Shrif-e-adam ur Sulaiman bin Hidayath Al-Beshwari
BS: I am moving phrom Beshawar to Quetta. Unphortunately, thare are no dancing girls in Quetta, i many miss them.
BS2: Malvi Mahdi, sounds of susaide pom plast are sacred and it is not allowed in islaam to rekord them. blease pear with dil dil bakistan onlee
It gives my hart much delight to see tu of my phavorite thrads find life, honor and dignity again, even in the eyes of the much pheared jurnails of Pee-Are-Ef. Thank you for reskuing the Y-e-M thrad phrom the kontainers.
yours in jop-abblikation-waiting-batent-bindi
Shrif-e-adam ur Sulaiman bin Hidayath Al-Beshwari
BS: I am moving phrom Beshawar to Quetta. Unphortunately, thare are no dancing girls in Quetta, i many miss them.
BS2: Malvi Mahdi, sounds of susaide pom plast are sacred and it is not allowed in islaam to rekord them. blease pear with dil dil bakistan onlee
Women's empowerment in Sindh
Kindly pe noting an example:
a) Sindh excels in Women's empowerment in january, or the equally redouptaple
b)Judiciary praises law enforcement.
a) Sindh excels in Women's empowerment in january, or the equally redouptaple
b)Judiciary praises law enforcement.
Women's empowerment in Sindh
Kindly pe noting an example:
a) Sindh excels in Women's empowerment in january, or the equally redouptaple
b)Judiciary praises law enforcement.
a) Sindh excels in Women's empowerment in january, or the equally redouptaple
b)Judiciary praises law enforcement.
Only finest Hawaii Houris in PIA
AoA!
Only finest Hawaii Houris in PIA
Only finest Hawaii Houris in PIA
| Quote: |
Pak court directs PIA to recall 'insulted' female crew Press Trust of India Posted online: Thursday, February 22, 2007 at 1442 hours IST Updated: Thursday, February 22, 2007 at 1444 hours IST Islamabad, February 22: The Supreme Court in Islamabad has directed the PIA management to recall 73 of its women crew members who had been suspended for their "dull appearance" and being overweight. The court directed the Pakistan International Airlines Corporation (PIAC) to give three months to the complainants to make up for their deficiencies. The chief justice of the apex court had taken notice on the complaint of six women cabin crew members who had sought the courts intervention against orders of the PIAC management, forcing them to retire because of their dull and poor appearance, scars on the face, gap in front teeth and the age factor affecting their looks, the Daily Times said today. The plaintiffs also wanted the court to direct the airlines to take back the insulting remarks. The SC had directed PIA Chairman Tariq Kirmani on February 13 to explain the derogatory and insulting treatment to the women staff. The chief justice yesterday ruled: Cabin crew as well as persons on ground duties to whom notices have been issued shall be taken on duty immediately. Initially, a period of three months will be provided to them to make up the deficiencies, which have been provided. |
Latter to the edithar:
Diyar NSN: Can you plis list the 2% mards in the baki-e-phauj. Would this shteel be halal and true apter golas latest reberse-swing. For instance..plis bass comment or gas after being moderately enlightened by the phollowing photwa..
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Governmand committed, and also guarding wimmens: Sumaira
Bliss to konsider my jop abblikation, diyar hadithars. In the mintyme, the ajenshies have rilizes the bhollowing rebort:
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Governmand committed, and also guarding wimmens: Sumaira
March 3, 2007
Sulaiman bin Hidayath Al-Beshawari
kultural dask (abblikation bindi)
ISLAMABAD (NSN): The governmand is committed to shielding wimmens, sayd minister for wimmens developmant and yuth aphairs, Sumaira Malik. "Islaam invanted the burka just bhor this burbouz" she said, adding that the governmand was keen to brovide additional huspands, prothers and others on ration pasis to meet the needs of the wimmens. "wimmens will not need to without a close relative", bredikted the minister.
The governmand will not let live any wimmens half-widowed, noted the minister. "There is amble brovision of huspands in Bakistan, since islaam allows ubto bhor marriages". The governmand is konsidering making it bhinacially attraktive bhor beeble to marri the half-widows.
While talking to Ampassador of Turki Rauf Engin Soysal at her ophice here on thursday the minister sayd, the stebs taken by the governmand for razing the status of wimmens in line with Islamic values include rilieze of wimmens prisoners on pale, making of wimmens brotection act and moving of anti-wimmens bractices pill in the national assambly.
The pill inkuldes a brovision for sbatial bink colored silk for wimmens whose desire to receive lashes. In the future, stones will also be bolished so podies can be viewed by the relatives abhter a stoning. Wimmens behadings will be kompletely panned, noted the minister. "There are islaamic dignibhied ways oph exekuting wimmens", said the minister.
Agenshies kontributed to this rebort.
------------------------------
(Adv)
Lashings gone wild - Brand new DVD
Bay half brice and samble our phuture relizes - Canadian Visa gone rong, Halph Widows going krazy, and saxy dances oph the beshawar dolls free
Kancel anytime - no oplikation.
Halaal Fauzi Entertainmant - Beshawar
Contact:
kamandu bhazalur rehman, al hajji
Central markait, beshawar
NSN - the hotness of our news is never in question
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Governmand committed, and also guarding wimmens: Sumaira
March 3, 2007
Sulaiman bin Hidayath Al-Beshawari
kultural dask (abblikation bindi)
ISLAMABAD (NSN): The governmand is committed to shielding wimmens, sayd minister for wimmens developmant and yuth aphairs, Sumaira Malik. "Islaam invanted the burka just bhor this burbouz" she said, adding that the governmand was keen to brovide additional huspands, prothers and others on ration pasis to meet the needs of the wimmens. "wimmens will not need to without a close relative", bredikted the minister.
The governmand will not let live any wimmens half-widowed, noted the minister. "There is amble brovision of huspands in Bakistan, since islaam allows ubto bhor marriages". The governmand is konsidering making it bhinacially attraktive bhor beeble to marri the half-widows.
While talking to Ampassador of Turki Rauf Engin Soysal at her ophice here on thursday the minister sayd, the stebs taken by the governmand for razing the status of wimmens in line with Islamic values include rilieze of wimmens prisoners on pale, making of wimmens brotection act and moving of anti-wimmens bractices pill in the national assambly.
The pill inkuldes a brovision for sbatial bink colored silk for wimmens whose desire to receive lashes. In the future, stones will also be bolished so podies can be viewed by the relatives abhter a stoning. Wimmens behadings will be kompletely panned, noted the minister. "There are islaamic dignibhied ways oph exekuting wimmens", said the minister.
Agenshies kontributed to this rebort.
------------------------------
(Adv)
Lashings gone wild - Brand new DVD
Bay half brice and samble our phuture relizes - Canadian Visa gone rong, Halph Widows going krazy, and saxy dances oph the beshawar dolls free
Kancel anytime - no oplikation.
Halaal Fauzi Entertainmant - Beshawar
Contact:
kamandu bhazalur rehman, al hajji
Central markait, beshawar
NSN - the hotness of our news is never in question
Friday, March 2, 2007
Bakistan become first ever cricket team
"Bakistan Becomes First-Ever Team"
| Quote: |
| Umpires stripped ... March 02, 2007 20:31 IST The International Cricket Council on Friday decided to take away the right to terminate matches from umpires and handed it instead to match referees (and Bakistan Jarnails). The recommendation ...adopted .... takes immediate effect. The move follows last year's row at the Oval in England after Pakistan became the first-ever team to forfeit a Test. |
Bositive Neuj
Beeble, bliss to note:
a) wearing half sleeves = indecent exposure
Sexy dances
and
b) clearing the shelves = NGO sponsered weddings
marry one get a goat free
Haraam or allowed under Islam? Learned maulvis bliss to answer.
Good news, Pakistan to no more fly to Kafir Nations in Europe.
Pakistani planes not to fly to EU countries
Most of the planes from Pakistan's national carrier would not be allowed to land in European Union countries from March 8 due to concerns over safety standards.
Gunter Mulack, German Ambassador to Pakistan, said in Peshawar city yesterday that Pakistan had been informed of the decision about a year ago. "Pakistan International Airlines (PIA) was asked time and again to improve safety standards by inducting modern aircraft in its fleet," he said. Germany, which holds the presidency of the EU, recently refused to grant landing permission to a Frankfurt-bound Airbus flight from Islamabad over safety standards.
Great News! Bush Reveals Increased US Tourism into Pakistan!
a) wearing half sleeves = indecent exposure
Sexy dances
and
b) clearing the shelves = NGO sponsered weddings
marry one get a goat free
| Quote: |
| Insufficient dowry is a reason many brides get "left on the shelf" by prospective grooms, and the government may soon impose a Rs. 50,000 limit, a little over the average annual wage in Pakistan. |
Haraam or allowed under Islam? Learned maulvis bliss to answer.
Good news, Pakistan to no more fly to Kafir Nations in Europe.
Pakistani planes not to fly to EU countries
Most of the planes from Pakistan's national carrier would not be allowed to land in European Union countries from March 8 due to concerns over safety standards.
Gunter Mulack, German Ambassador to Pakistan, said in Peshawar city yesterday that Pakistan had been informed of the decision about a year ago. "Pakistan International Airlines (PIA) was asked time and again to improve safety standards by inducting modern aircraft in its fleet," he said. Germany, which holds the presidency of the EU, recently refused to grant landing permission to a Frankfurt-bound Airbus flight from Islamabad over safety standards.
Great News! Bush Reveals Increased US Tourism into Pakistan!
Justice Served
This one takes the cake, I have nothing to say for it. I can't even paraphrase this in pure english: Victory and justice
The ASP, headquarters, Vaqas Ahmed, directed the staff of the Janglekhel police station to summon Patho Pir, Dilshu and Yousuf, who were either released after striking deals with their victims or are on bail in criminal cases.
They came in their Pajero jeeps accompanied by their guards, but they found the situation embarrassing when they were asked to enter the police station alone. Later, they were made to clean the entire police station, including its offices and ground, under the supervision of the ASP.
Justice Served
This one takes the cake, I have nothing to say for it. I can't even paraphrase this in pure english: Victory and justice
The ASP, headquarters, Vaqas Ahmed, directed the staff of the Janglekhel police station to summon Patho Pir, Dilshu and Yousuf, who were either released after striking deals with their victims or are on bail in criminal cases.
They came in their Pajero jeeps accompanied by their guards, but they found the situation embarrassing when they were asked to enter the police station alone. Later, they were made to clean the entire police station, including its offices and ground, under the supervision of the ASP.
Thursday, March 1, 2007
CEO/Prejdent-Jarnail warns private armies to avoid combeting with guvrmand
CEO/Prejdent-Jarnail warns private armies to avoid combeting with guvrmand
Jarnail bromijed tough acshun:
| Quote: |
| LARKANA: President General Pervez Musharraf said on Wednesday that a call for “Jihad” could only be given by the government.. |
Jarnail bromijed tough acshun:
| Quote: |
| These people (extremists and terrorists) belong to some Arab countries and some are Uzbeks, who and carrying out their activities in the mountains of NWFP and other areas. They have jeopardised our national interests.” He warned: “Get out, otherwise we will take strong action.” |
| Quote: |
| Pakistan Army has very strong shoulders and can raise both hands very tall at same time, as they are famous for doing. They can also wave white flag and have white carnations behind their ears. Do not provoke us! Underneath our burkhas we have Ghauri-like bolijjed mijjiles! |
Medical Technology reaches new heights
Medical Technology reaches new heights.
Bosnia promotes medical tourism in Pakistan as sign of friendship
Bosnia promotes medical tourism in Pakistan as sign of friendship
Canadian visa comes with responsibilities
Following the Australian experience, new opportunities for education:
No stoning, canadian migrants told.
No stoning, canadian migrants told.
GREAT NEWS: PAKISTAN ARMY WINS GREAT VICTORY OVER GREAT SATAN
GREAT NEWS: PAKISTAN ARMY WINS GREAT VICTORY OVER GREAT SATAN
(Pakistan is the Frontlyin' Al_lie of the USA in the GOAT)
(Pakistan is the Frontlyin' Al_lie of the USA in the GOAT)
Bakistan to overtake India in the field of movie entertainment
Pakistan to overtake India in the field of movie entertainment
Islamabad, 01 March (NSN): In a grand ceremony today, Pakistan’s President and entertainment minister Mr. Pervez Musharraf disclosed that the country will soon overtake India in the field of movies and cinema entertainment.
“Bollywood is producing either romantic movies, comedies or horror movies, but nothing in between. There is definitely a niche for us there. Our stars are well positioned to address that in-between market”, the president said. Nobody who has ever had an encounter with the dancing dolls of Peshawar would dare disagree.
The grand ceremony was organized to celebrate the launch of Pakistan’s latest movie “Jinn Ooh, Jinn Aah” – a bold attempt at combining the genres of horror, romance and biography. The President said that the last attempt to make a movie on Jinnah failed because it only combined biography and horror, and had no romance. “Also, the horror was about a Western Dracula, not an Islamic Jinn. I am glad the producers are not taking any chances this time.” Further, in a great show of the technological prowess of Pakistan’s movie industry, a teaser trailer was recently posted on the Internet.
“Our film industry is second to none”, said the President. “We can make indigenous movies. Allah be praised, we even have a Big Bee in Pakistan”.
The clerics have endorsed Musharraf’s ideas, provided Islamic requirements are met. “As per Sharia, we need to have at least three dances in each movie. Otherwise we believe that pictures are haraam”, said a popular one-eyed cleric in the latest video tape sent to our Quetta office. “May the irony be lost upon you, Inshallah”, he said with a wink that was a blink.
The cleric also decreed that appearances of Meera, who likes to flaunt her Hindu name, will not be allowed. Instead, only the original Peshawar atom bomb named Al-mirah will be allowed (NSN confirms that the name has no relation to her tonnage). Her thigh-clapping cousin Big-Bee is also welcome, provided she resolves the legal dispute over her name with the celebrated Madam of PISS fame.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Editor’s note: NSN requests its kamandu correspondents to please post a link to the “teaser trailer” featuring the dancing dolls of Peshawar, for the benefit of the ummah only.
Islamabad, 01 March (NSN): In a grand ceremony today, Pakistan’s President and entertainment minister Mr. Pervez Musharraf disclosed that the country will soon overtake India in the field of movies and cinema entertainment.
“Bollywood is producing either romantic movies, comedies or horror movies, but nothing in between. There is definitely a niche for us there. Our stars are well positioned to address that in-between market”, the president said. Nobody who has ever had an encounter with the dancing dolls of Peshawar would dare disagree.
The grand ceremony was organized to celebrate the launch of Pakistan’s latest movie “Jinn Ooh, Jinn Aah” – a bold attempt at combining the genres of horror, romance and biography. The President said that the last attempt to make a movie on Jinnah failed because it only combined biography and horror, and had no romance. “Also, the horror was about a Western Dracula, not an Islamic Jinn. I am glad the producers are not taking any chances this time.” Further, in a great show of the technological prowess of Pakistan’s movie industry, a teaser trailer was recently posted on the Internet.
“Our film industry is second to none”, said the President. “We can make indigenous movies. Allah be praised, we even have a Big Bee in Pakistan”.
The clerics have endorsed Musharraf’s ideas, provided Islamic requirements are met. “As per Sharia, we need to have at least three dances in each movie. Otherwise we believe that pictures are haraam”, said a popular one-eyed cleric in the latest video tape sent to our Quetta office. “May the irony be lost upon you, Inshallah”, he said with a wink that was a blink.
The cleric also decreed that appearances of Meera, who likes to flaunt her Hindu name, will not be allowed. Instead, only the original Peshawar atom bomb named Al-mirah will be allowed (NSN confirms that the name has no relation to her tonnage). Her thigh-clapping cousin Big-Bee is also welcome, provided she resolves the legal dispute over her name with the celebrated Madam of PISS fame.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Editor’s note: NSN requests its kamandu correspondents to please post a link to the “teaser trailer” featuring the dancing dolls of Peshawar, for the benefit of the ummah only.
Whole world to suffer: Kasuri
Whole world to suffer: Kasuri
Updated at 1745 PST
Sulaiman bin Hidayath Al-Beshawari
Abblikation pindi (Copyright NSN).
KASUR (NSN): Foreign Minister Khurshid Mahmud Kasuri said Tuesday that if America ignored Pakistan, the consequences would have to be faced by the whole world. Addressing a gathering of lawyers at Chunian district of Kasur, he said Pakistan is already facing problems related with Afghanistan and is also regaining its leadership by reuniting the fractured islamic world in trying to dissolve the standoff between USA and Iran through dialogue. The minister added, "Islam does not allow a partner to just walk away".
Pakistan is the only country that has had intimate relations with USA and China simultaneously, the foreign minister said adding that Pakistan entered into 34 agreements with China. These agreements will give a great boost to the national population, he remarked. "Even religious leader here are named Maulana Sandwich", quipped the minister.
Khurshid Kasuri said that America is undoubtedly a super power, but Pakistan is not acting upon its agenda, adding that Pakistan never supported USA over (Pakistan’s) tight and firm interests. That is not an islamic position, remarked the minister. Pakistan has stood tall among the Islamic nations by establishing lasting relationships that have borne and reared the fruits of development, added the minister.
Pakistan is a nuclear power and playing a leading role in the Islamic world, which is a clear proof of the best foreign policy of the government, he added. On sidelines of the meeting the minister advised the lawyers to give up highway robbery and practice in the courts instead. The government is also preparing a rehabilitation scheme for lawyers who might be adversely affected due to giving up their profession as a docait.
----------------------------------
This is (mostly true and only minimally) NSN.
Updated at 1745 PST
Sulaiman bin Hidayath Al-Beshawari
Abblikation pindi (Copyright NSN).
KASUR (NSN): Foreign Minister Khurshid Mahmud Kasuri said Tuesday that if America ignored Pakistan, the consequences would have to be faced by the whole world. Addressing a gathering of lawyers at Chunian district of Kasur, he said Pakistan is already facing problems related with Afghanistan and is also regaining its leadership by reuniting the fractured islamic world in trying to dissolve the standoff between USA and Iran through dialogue. The minister added, "Islam does not allow a partner to just walk away".
Pakistan is the only country that has had intimate relations with USA and China simultaneously, the foreign minister said adding that Pakistan entered into 34 agreements with China. These agreements will give a great boost to the national population, he remarked. "Even religious leader here are named Maulana Sandwich", quipped the minister.
Khurshid Kasuri said that America is undoubtedly a super power, but Pakistan is not acting upon its agenda, adding that Pakistan never supported USA over (Pakistan’s) tight and firm interests. That is not an islamic position, remarked the minister. Pakistan has stood tall among the Islamic nations by establishing lasting relationships that have borne and reared the fruits of development, added the minister.
Pakistan is a nuclear power and playing a leading role in the Islamic world, which is a clear proof of the best foreign policy of the government, he added. On sidelines of the meeting the minister advised the lawyers to give up highway robbery and practice in the courts instead. The government is also preparing a rehabilitation scheme for lawyers who might be adversely affected due to giving up their profession as a docait.
----------------------------------
This is (mostly true and only minimally) NSN.
Protection of culture: Taliban made to face music
| ||
Concern over response to visit Pakistan initiative
Concern over response to visit Pakistan initiative: Musharraf warns foreigners tourists to face the music or leave Pakistan
March 1, 2007
Hidayath Al-Beshawari
Hatti,Larkana (NSN): President General Pervez Musharraf addressing a huge public meeting in village Hatti (see related agency report) said on Wednesday that foreign tourists must participate more actively in cultural events. He warned tourists in the NWFP to leave the country, otherwise, they would be thrown out by force. "Music in banned in NWFP, there is nothing to face, so why are they there?", asked the president.
He said a call for “Jihad” will be given by the government soon. "The tourists are starting before the government sponsered activities, disturbing (fair and tight) coordination (by the ISI)", he said adding, "These people, who and carrying out their activities in the tribal, hard to access, thinly populated mountains of NWFP, are jeopardising our national interests".
The president warned those breaking the laws, saying "We will not bend (over), lie down, or otherwise be (a) silent (spectator). We are tight (knit) and firm (in our resolve), and (will take) hard (action)".
Addressing a huge public meeting in village Hatti, the president said 2007 is visit Pakistan year and it is the duty of the people to create favorable conditions for tourists to visit. "We have an well established hospitality traditon. From ancient time, people visiting Pakistan (for tourism training) have taken a slice of (RDX?) Pakistani culture with them", commented the president.
The president also noted that Pakistani training camps are more famous than boy scouts of america, who he said are makely a front for cookie baking shops. The government will improve the visa process for the camps to weed out unwanted elements.
“The past governments had done nothing but mere lip service, whereas we have practically served the people,” he said, adding that the country had made tremendous progress since he took over, as Pakistan had become a progressive and prosperous country. He said he had resuscitated the tourist camps in kashmir after the earthquake, more recently the NWFP, and was now taking hard and firm action in Baluchistan. He noted that the Gawdar port will allow chinese tourists to visit Baluchistan directly, contributing to its fast growing economy. He said, " We are always looking for new opportunities".
More than 100,000 people ( agency report) from different parts of Sindh, including Thatta, Badin, Karachi and from Kashmore to Sukkur and Kambar and Jacobabad participated in the meeting, despite Tuesday night’s heavy rain and inclement weather. Pakistan routinely stages such shows of force to deter its hegemonic neighbors from disturbing its peaceful society. "All our neighbors were informed in advance", noted a spokesman.
Pakistan is the fastest growing nation in Asia. It is also the largest buyer of chinese arms, polishing and displaying them proudly at city centers and festivals. The conservative nation considers the practice important to imbibe nationalism in its youth. Despite numerous terrorist attacks allegedly supported by its unfriendly neighbors, Pakistan has remained a steadfast ally in the war of terror. The US congress has been considering legislation for improving pakistani readiness to allow it to take the fight against terrorism beyond Rawalpindi, and somewhere in the vicinity of its northern border. The American vice-president recently visited the country to improve coordination between the allies.
----------------------------------------
(Adv) Visit Peshawar:
See the dynamitic process of upgrading asia's best railway network,
Mingle with the famous dancing girls of Peshawar,
Buy the finest burqa (Made in China) in Asia,
Judge the competition for the longest beard,
Win fabulous prizes (smashing electronics).
This (soon, I hope, will be) NSN
March 1, 2007
Hidayath Al-Beshawari
Hatti,Larkana (NSN): President General Pervez Musharraf addressing a huge public meeting in village Hatti (see related agency report) said on Wednesday that foreign tourists must participate more actively in cultural events. He warned tourists in the NWFP to leave the country, otherwise, they would be thrown out by force. "Music in banned in NWFP, there is nothing to face, so why are they there?", asked the president.
He said a call for “Jihad” will be given by the government soon. "The tourists are starting before the government sponsered activities, disturbing (fair and tight) coordination (by the ISI)", he said adding, "These people, who and carrying out their activities in the tribal, hard to access, thinly populated mountains of NWFP, are jeopardising our national interests".
The president warned those breaking the laws, saying "We will not bend (over), lie down, or otherwise be (a) silent (spectator). We are tight (knit) and firm (in our resolve), and (will take) hard (action)".
Addressing a huge public meeting in village Hatti, the president said 2007 is visit Pakistan year and it is the duty of the people to create favorable conditions for tourists to visit. "We have an well established hospitality traditon. From ancient time, people visiting Pakistan (for tourism training) have taken a slice of (RDX?) Pakistani culture with them", commented the president.
The president also noted that Pakistani training camps are more famous than boy scouts of america, who he said are makely a front for cookie baking shops. The government will improve the visa process for the camps to weed out unwanted elements.
“The past governments had done nothing but mere lip service, whereas we have practically served the people,” he said, adding that the country had made tremendous progress since he took over, as Pakistan had become a progressive and prosperous country. He said he had resuscitated the tourist camps in kashmir after the earthquake, more recently the NWFP, and was now taking hard and firm action in Baluchistan. He noted that the Gawdar port will allow chinese tourists to visit Baluchistan directly, contributing to its fast growing economy. He said, " We are always looking for new opportunities".
More than 100,000 people ( agency report) from different parts of Sindh, including Thatta, Badin, Karachi and from Kashmore to Sukkur and Kambar and Jacobabad participated in the meeting, despite Tuesday night’s heavy rain and inclement weather. Pakistan routinely stages such shows of force to deter its hegemonic neighbors from disturbing its peaceful society. "All our neighbors were informed in advance", noted a spokesman.
Pakistan is the fastest growing nation in Asia. It is also the largest buyer of chinese arms, polishing and displaying them proudly at city centers and festivals. The conservative nation considers the practice important to imbibe nationalism in its youth. Despite numerous terrorist attacks allegedly supported by its unfriendly neighbors, Pakistan has remained a steadfast ally in the war of terror. The US congress has been considering legislation for improving pakistani readiness to allow it to take the fight against terrorism beyond Rawalpindi, and somewhere in the vicinity of its northern border. The American vice-president recently visited the country to improve coordination between the allies.
----------------------------------------
(Adv) Visit Peshawar:
See the dynamitic process of upgrading asia's best railway network,
Mingle with the famous dancing girls of Peshawar,
Buy the finest burqa (Made in China) in Asia,
Judge the competition for the longest beard,
Win fabulous prizes (smashing electronics).
This (soon, I hope, will be) NSN
Pakistan to overtake India in the field of movie entertainment
Pakistan to overtake India in the field of movie entertainment
Islamabad, 01 March (NSN): In a grand ceremony today, Pakistan’s President and entertainment minister Mr. Pervez Musharraf disclosed that the country will soon overtake India in the field of movies and cinema entertainment.
“Bollywood is producing either romantic movies, comedies or horror movies, but nothing in between. There is definitely a niche for us there. Our stars are well positioned to address that in-between market”, the president said. Nobody who has ever had an encounter with the dancing dolls of Peshawar would dare disagree.
The grand ceremony was organized to celebrate the launch of Pakistan’s latest movie “Jinn Ooh, Jinn Aah” – a bold attempt at combining the genres of horror, romance and biography. The President said that the last attempt to make a movie on Jinnah failed because it only combined biography and horror, and had no romance. “Also, the horror was about a Western Dracula, not an Islamic Jinn. I am glad the producers are not taking any chances this time.” Further, in a great show of the technological prowess of Pakistan’s movie industry, a teaser trailer was recently posted on the Internet.
“Our film industry is second to none”, said the President. “We can make indigenous movies. Allah be praised, we even have a Big Bee in Pakistan”.
The clerics have endorsed Musharraf’s ideas, provided Islamic requirements are met. “As per Sharia, we need to have at least three dances in each movie. Otherwise we believe that pictures are haraam”, said a popular one-eyed cleric in the latest video tape sent to our Quetta office. “May the irony be lost upon you, Inshallah”, he said with a wink that was a blink.
The cleric also decreed that appearances of Meera, who likes to flaunt her Hindu name, will not be allowed. Instead, only the original Peshawar atom bomb named Al-mirah will be allowed (NSN confirms that the name has no relation to her tonnage). Her thigh-clapping cousin Big-Bee is also welcome, provided she resolves the legal dispute over her name with the celebrated Madam of PISS fame.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Editor’s note: NSN requests its kamandu correspondents to please post a link to the “teaser trailer” featuring the dancing dolls of Peshawar, for the benefit of the ummah only
Islamabad, 01 March (NSN): In a grand ceremony today, Pakistan’s President and entertainment minister Mr. Pervez Musharraf disclosed that the country will soon overtake India in the field of movies and cinema entertainment.
“Bollywood is producing either romantic movies, comedies or horror movies, but nothing in between. There is definitely a niche for us there. Our stars are well positioned to address that in-between market”, the president said. Nobody who has ever had an encounter with the dancing dolls of Peshawar would dare disagree.
The grand ceremony was organized to celebrate the launch of Pakistan’s latest movie “Jinn Ooh, Jinn Aah” – a bold attempt at combining the genres of horror, romance and biography. The President said that the last attempt to make a movie on Jinnah failed because it only combined biography and horror, and had no romance. “Also, the horror was about a Western Dracula, not an Islamic Jinn. I am glad the producers are not taking any chances this time.” Further, in a great show of the technological prowess of Pakistan’s movie industry, a teaser trailer was recently posted on the Internet.
“Our film industry is second to none”, said the President. “We can make indigenous movies. Allah be praised, we even have a Big Bee in Pakistan”.
The clerics have endorsed Musharraf’s ideas, provided Islamic requirements are met. “As per Sharia, we need to have at least three dances in each movie. Otherwise we believe that pictures are haraam”, said a popular one-eyed cleric in the latest video tape sent to our Quetta office. “May the irony be lost upon you, Inshallah”, he said with a wink that was a blink.
The cleric also decreed that appearances of Meera, who likes to flaunt her Hindu name, will not be allowed. Instead, only the original Peshawar atom bomb named Al-mirah will be allowed (NSN confirms that the name has no relation to her tonnage). Her thigh-clapping cousin Big-Bee is also welcome, provided she resolves the legal dispute over her name with the celebrated Madam of PISS fame.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Editor’s note: NSN requests its kamandu correspondents to please post a link to the “teaser trailer” featuring the dancing dolls of Peshawar, for the benefit of the ummah only
Kushchun on the Kuschun din
Diyar Hadithers and resbacted sindikated kalumnists:
Pismillah ur Rahman (ur) Rahim (purr...)
Since today ij the din phor asking quschions, I vill also ask one.
Bhat for is NSN not investigating canadian visa abbplicants peing kreated in bhoreign kountries? Oph late many many applikants for canadian visa have peen kreated in phar off blaces like Londonistan, pritainistan and autraliastan. Still, their abblications have not received due attenshion of the NSN inveshtigators. Since this is news (and not kulture/cultural ebhent), I request your kind attenshion onlee.
Hidayath Al-Beshawari
Reborter Abblication Under konsiderashion, Cultural Desk, NSN
Pismillah ur Rahman (ur) Rahim (purr...)
Since today ij the din phor asking quschions, I vill also ask one.
Bhat for is NSN not investigating canadian visa abbplicants peing kreated in bhoreign kountries? Oph late many many applikants for canadian visa have peen kreated in phar off blaces like Londonistan, pritainistan and autraliastan. Still, their abblications have not received due attenshion of the NSN inveshtigators. Since this is news (and not kulture/cultural ebhent), I request your kind attenshion onlee.
Hidayath Al-Beshawari
Reborter Abblication Under konsiderashion, Cultural Desk, NSN
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