Islamic Scientists predict Vaccum pockets forming all over Pakistan.
Peshawar Mar 10.: Islamic scientists from the International Institute of Islamic Science (IIIS) concluded a week long symposium: "Islamic Science: Foundations and Frontiers". [Editor's note: All topic titles translated from Arabic] Hundreds of prominent islamic scientists, intellectuals, thinkers, and IT specialists flocked the conference halls of Binori Madrassa's branch office in Peshawar to discuss the future course of Islamic science and planned strategies to defeat western science conclusively once and for all.
The Guest Speaker for the event was the world-famous expert on Djinn Thermodynamics and Halal Electrodynamics, Dr. Pervaze Hoodbhoy, whose speech "Djinns behaving Badly: a study in the hermeneutics of protonic Djinn Particles and its effects on Goat fertility in Rural Pakistan" kept the audience spellbound. Dr. Hoodbhoy's speech struck at the core of Pakistan's increasing Djinn Field activity -- a phenomenon blamed by Islamic Scientists on increasing american presence in Pakistan.
The technology and innovation booth featured snazzy new inventions including the Bullet-proof Koran and the Flame-resistant Koran invented by junior scientists in IIIS, Karachi, and the vaccum-proof light bulb invented by scientists from the Haqqania Madrassa in Karachi. The best student award was given to the science project of young Momeen Abdul whose science project "Laila: My special four-legged friend" was appreciated very well by the entire audience, especially given the very young age of this budding talent and the tender meat on his pet goat Laila.
In a special session on Islamic Atmospheric Sciences, the topic on Spontaneous Vaccum Combustion was debated. Images from Pakistan's HalalSat II were displayed to the audience to demonstrate the impending formation of large vaccum pockets in Pakistan, which was very convincing given the 1 sq. meter resolution for detecting Kaffirs from space. The delegates were adviced to not turn on their light bulbs and to use candle light instead, which was a blessing in disguise since Pakistan production of electricity has dropped drastically in the past few years.
On the final day of the symposium, Maulana Sandwich [Editor's note: No relation to the Earl of Sandwich] and Maulana Diesel Rehman kicked off the debating session titled: "Is Goat Cloning Halal or is it Kaffir science?" which lasted for many hours during which 800 Kgs of mutton biriyani and 500 Kgs of Keema were consumed by the delegates. The symposium concluded today and all attendees were given as souvenirs two automatic rifles and a stick of dynamite with the star-and-crescent IIIS logo embossed on them. (NSN)
--- NSN staff report
