Hands Off Auntie Shamim
Islamabad 29 March (NSN): President General Musharraf today addressed the gathered international media and said that he believed that a totally hands off policy is required to deal with the issue of recent disturbances concerning a local girls madrassah and one "Auntie Shamim", the matron of an alternative girls dormitory, whom they were alleged to have kidnapped.
"I think we should all get our hands off this whole issue and let the agitation reach its own natural conclusion" the President said, as newsmen grew excited at the sight of baton wielding burkha clad young women students.
"They are practising kendo anyway... nothing to do with any auntie-shantie..." said Iqbal Maqbool, a local police inspector, on condition of anonymity. The inspector denied knowing Auntie Shamim or where she lived, other than for purely professional reasons.
The lady identified as Auntie Shamim said "Its not right to be dragged through the streets like a dog, we can provide suitable services in the privacy of the dormitory... at very reasonable rates" she smiled coyly adding, "we always look after our khaas mehman"
Asked if the president's hands off policy was effective, she said "The President's hands are very welcome in our house, I am sure that we can provide hands of our own that will soothe his troubled brow and take away his tensions..."
Local resident Maulana Rafiq Khatmat al Arabi said that the kendo practising students had been quietly exercising their inalienable rights to gather in a public place and gently persuading others that their point of view was right whilst giving playful slaps and blows. It was a beautiful and spiritual experience. He denied all knowledge of Auntie's dormitory, however some of the residents exiting it smiled and waved at the Maulana as they passed our reporter on the street.
NSN tried to get access to the alleged dormitory but our reporter was told to first try the adjoining goat shed since no one was available for interview.
This is NSN
---------------
Paid Advertisement:
Do you like to hook?
Try Fauji Fishing Services
All your needs taken care of... delightfully!
