Ball-Jeehaard Is Not Cheating

Guest bost By Rameej Raaja Phor the Bious. Hij column phor the Kuffars can be phound here

Ball-tambering, or Ball-Jeehard ij not cheating. It is legitmate resistance. To save cricket, the "root causes" of ball tambering should be addressed. Ball tampering is because of the principled stand taken by Bakistani bowlerj who have lost everything to the oppression and domination of kuffar batsmen of other countriej. Pakistanij cannot play in their own country, and have lost all matches and do not own any trophiej. They are unembloyed, not being selected to IPL. In thij environment, the oppressed resort to any and all forms of legitimate rejistance. Like Ball-Jeehaard. Ball-jeehaard is not cheating. Batsmen who are batting indulge in (international cricket) Council-terrorism. To eliminate ball tampering, the root causes should be addressed. Like gifting the match to Pakistan.

Cricket is in the blood of Bakistanis and ball tampering wont end till the issue is resolved honorably by granting all matches to Pakistan.

Those who comblain of ball tambering by the Bakistanis forget history. The British, soon after they introduced cricket into the subcontinent for their own ulterior motives, left Pakistanis to fend for themselves and did not take an interest in giving Pakistanis money. That caused a "cricket bat" culture and Afridi comes from an upbringing of ball-tampering in this culture. Thus, Pakistan itself is a victim of ball tampering. Pakistan did uje these ball tamberers before the advent of cameras to advanje its own agenda, however Pakistani cricket board does not train ball tamperers but only provides moral, diplomatic and political support to ball tampering.

The solution to eradicate the scourje of ball tambering from the subcontinent is to make sure that ball tambering is not taught in school textbooks of India, Bangladesh, Srilanka as well as Pakistan. To eliminate this threat, we should identify "good ball tamperers" from "bad ball tamperers" and let the good ball tamperers play. Else it will only strengthen the hand of ball tamperers.

Common Pakijtani Beepuls Greatest Charity Organization In The World!!!

Sourced Phrom Yawn Neuj:

From 1971 to 2009, State Bank of Bakistan haj donated money to the tune of Rs256 billion. The figures are brejented from 1971, becauje the modest State bank does not want boast the fact that their charity campaign accelerated from from 1997 to 2009 when they donated Rs202.5 billion to charity or about 80% oph total charity ever made in Pakistan betweeen 1971 and 2009.

Of theje, donations of Rs500,000 or more were made to 22,021 beneficiaries from 1997 to 2009 amounting to Rs202.5 billion. This figure was again brodujed to protect the haanaar and dignity oph 93 of those recibients who recieved Rs193.4 billion or about 96% oph all money donated between 1997 and 2009.

Thus, the 93 rejibients got 75% of all donations made since 1971 by all banks of Bakistan. These donations are aljo referred to as "loan write offs" by State Bank of Bakistan and in wejtern accounting bractices it ij referred to as "looting".

The 93 needy beepuls were identified through a comblex process of madrassa mathematics and beshawar bookkeeping by Shortcut Aziz after October 2002 elections to save their needy businesses. On asking why Rs193 billion waj donated, Shortcut Aziz said "Theje needy beepuls were identified by meticulously following the comblex chacha-bhateeja relationship to the ruling barty boliticians and Jernails. Prudenje demanded we donate more, but misunfortunately, Rs66 Billion had to be sbent on ejjucation in 2002". It ij to be noted that Bakistan could have made the sovirgin decision of donating the Rs66 billion too if not for IMF meddling.

Thij is a broud moment of common beepuls of Bakistan whose taxes amounting to 3 years of total ejjucation budget of the entire country were donated for charity for bettering the life of 93 beepuls.

Our staff reborter states that such generosity is not seen among Joos & Yindoos.

Yai Pea Yell - 3

AoA
last few dins hape been very grat kirkitwise,
TB(Team Bakistan not Tubercuolosis)had helped
TI from reigning long yat numper one, yand donated
a Test series to Gora clones, then absolutely
refused playing in Yai Pea Yell-3, much to the
discomphart oph ebil Bhartiyas and great mirth
oph pious Bakistan. Since a poetry is norm when
happy, pesh hai

The embers of anger,
Of ruthless exploitation,
The impotent anger arising
Of perennial nashunal bird dropping
Of crimes and commissions
Of the political masters
Is simmering slow
As the mussarraf is aglow
With Cricket's IPL-3 Show

The burns really hurt
After the last bid was over,
When the pangs of hunger
Returns with as vengeance,
And the moojahids surrenders
To the silence of terror
And life limps on
Without even the leftovers
Of the bountiful IPL-3 oppressors.

Salam.

Nashunal Bird

By the Plyons of the Nashunal Bird tossed
From the Wings where she fly under the Sun
Flew the Mijjile
To the kave where daylight is lost,
So it flew from the light of the Sun
And alone!

Oh Thou Who hast builded the Natshunal Bird,
Oh Thou Who hast lighted its Injin,
Oh Thou Who hast darkened the Kave,
Judge Thou
The sin of the Mijjile that was hurled
By the Natshunal Bird from the Plyons on the Wings,
As Moojahids sinks in the mire of the darkened Kave,
Even now--even now--even now!

OOOO! Bakistan

Bakistan is a wonderful Place,
where from moojahids get fame.
Some nonWKKs watching are tense,
When they see the moojahids hit the switch to Vakum plast.
Some WKKs buy tickets,
To embrace the Moojahids getting their raisns.
There is a AdM who works hard to concentrate,
Then there are Maulanas who tries to make him frustrate.
There was an Amir who always made the right decision,
To help Moojahids who are out to accomplish a mission.
But these days there is a lot of chaos in Bakistan,
Because the Moojahids deliberately tread on the toes.
I hope Amir is returned sincerely,
So that everyone can live it happily.

Pakistan beats Central African Repblic and wins Boxing Trophy...

Pakistan beats Central African Repblic and wins Boxing Trophy...
Nine more additions to pakistan iyat.




PAKISTAN, Karachi : Boxers from the Central African Republic and Cameroon pray during a conversion ceremony from Christianity to Islam in Karachi on January 5, 2010. Nine African boxers converted to Islam on the sidelines of an international boxing tournament in Pakistan on January 5, saying they were impressed by the humanity and righteous ways of the religion. The boxers flew to Karachi to compete in the contest named after Pakistan's assassinated former prime minister Benazir Bhutto and drawing participants from 20 countries around the world. AFP PHOTO/ ASIF HASSAN

Benis Khapayy!!

Diyar Mullaj and Mujahids,
Rapid IED muparaks in Benistan annexxe haj caused many mujahids to become gayab.
Bhat in the name of Allah haj the situashun come to? Boor state of Bakistan now mirrors boor state of Benistan.

Grand mullahs Shreeman and Amir E hab been long lapata. They must have gone to FATA.
No neuj of many biraders. They must have gone to Gwadar.
Aj a rejult, Benistan has become like Liaqat Ali gate displayed oopar tasvir.
In Bakistan, everydin Zardari das perceni says "Bakistan khapay", "Cash amir khappay" this khapay , that khapay. Bhy for mujahids with valid vija have deserted Benis and plog?

Diyar Mullaj,

Blij to issue Fatwas in your masjids. Thij ij haraam. There can be no Love petween countries. True love ij only bossiple petween a mullah and hij goat.

SooSai Vest

before I left the house
I told my son
that evening
I was going
to the First Artillery Force Madarssa of Engineering
to talk to a group of students learning how to make soosai vests
about poetry
I told him: what you have to do
is behave yourself
and stay put
until your mother gets home

that evening
after I’d gone
my son must have been confused
he couldn’t figure out
how his father
who could only talk about poetry
had the right
to go and lecture
people who would one day be making soosai vests
soosai vests were so awesome
while poetry was stuff like
“Before my bed there is bright moonlight . . .”*

three hours later
when I got back
my wife was already home
my son was still not in bed
he asked me
if I had seen any soosai vests
no, I said, and added:
I had seen the money and that was fine
I handed him
an envelope given to me by a colonel
he counted the money in it
then said to me
next time, go and give a talk
to people making Atim Bums
they’re sure to give you even more

AoA

Bostcard from the Edge (of civilization)

Diyar Mullahs,

Blij to maaf karo laang absenj phrom Plog. I waj with Mullah Wahamullah in a Phata-phut tour of FATA.

I have dekho some peautifool lands and even more peautifool goats. However, Bakistani Fauj is engaging in haraam activity. Even so, our birathers are busy placing Welcome Mats all along the roads. Phor some reason, they are digging holes and placing these mats underground.

I poocho Wahamullah and he said, "It ij phor IED Mubarak". I don't samjho put the great Mullah (Goats Pe Ubon Him) ij naat alwayj eejee to understand.

We witnessed some extensive building improvements underway in schools for wimmens. So far, brogress is good. The demolition phase of the work is niyarly comblete. Wahamullah sej that I don't samjho again -- the entire broject ij niyarly comblete. The great Mullah (Beard May Grow on Him) did not exblain.

We also dekho the national Bird of FATA. It waj flying very high in aasmaan. The biratherj told us that some timej the bird sends fire phrom the sky. I don't pelieve it put Wahamullah sej "petter pelieve it chotae, or the Drone will vijit you at night". Again the great Mullah (Fatwas May Isuue from Him) sboke in riddles.

Thij ij it phor this letter. Next week I will rebort on Waziristan.

Many Salaams,

Abdul Al-Okullah

Pindigenoujly Develobed Anti Miscreant Equipment

In a bositive develobment, Pakistani dephenje scientists have 200,000 percent pindigenously develobed anti miscreant detection devijes. Thij phollows in the gloriouj phootsteps oph the pindigenous satellite develobment that made us 400 per cent better than Yindia. Theje devijes have been imborted phrom China in a joint development contract and ishtamped "Made in Pakistan", ujing ishamps aljo made in China. The devijes, manufactured by Foonk-Zundri industries in China, were bought phor cash, just like the satellite, and will help in catching miscreants in Waziristan and Swat.

The device comej in three formj. The jernailist verjion, called "Nuttybaranoia V1" consists oph a red color reciever to be worn over the head and a transparent detector to be worn over the face and can sbot RAW, CIA, Mossad, Yindoo, Yankee, Joo agints. Pakistanis, taalipaan, and patriotic terrorists are not detected or seen by theje devijes.



Zaid Hamid Demojtrating the Kanspeerajy Detection Devije in phorm of Lal topi and eye glasses. He can spot Joo, RAW, CIA, Mossad and Yindu agints everywhere.

There ij aljo a military verjion, in the phorm of a face mask which looks like a constibated baboon, called "Baghdad Bob V2" which haj better detection and can aljo detect common medical conditions oph Pakistani citijens. Thij waj demonstrated by Athar Abbas, who saw bodies, some with torture marks and some with limbs tied and a bullet in the neck and head, on the roads of Mingora and immediately said "These beepuls have died oph old age".

Athar Abbas, ujing "Baghdad Bob V2" devije and looking at mass graves in Kukarai, Daulai and Shah Dheri village. He immediately declared "these pits are not graves but in fact fields planted by the bious and gentle Pakistani army to grow more beepuls".

The civilian high sojiety verjion, haj the ability to hide all violenje, make beepuls sing rock songs and generally not give a rat's musharraf about the beepuls dying in Peshawar. Thij comes in the phorm of a wepsite called teetar and ij called the "Summer of taalipaan hash tag V3"
The "teetar verjion" oph the devije which makes beepul declare "Oh all thij taalipaan violenje is exaggeration by west, let uj all get self righteous about it. Better than pheeling sorry phor those who died"

Boetry

O sweet spontaneous
Khuspoo how often have
the doting fingers of
prurient Mullahs pinched
and poked thee

has the naughty thumb
of Fauji Aphsars prodded
thy beauty.

How often have Talips taken
thee upon their scraggy knees
squeezing and buffeting thee

True to the incomparable
couch of death thy
rhythmic lover

thou answerest them only with
a lovely bray.

AoA

Pakistan takes prinjibled ishtand on Kerry-Lugar bill

NSN Reports: In a dramatic and unexpected develobment Pakistan has taken a prinjibled ishtand on the Kerry-Lugar legislation which tribled aid to Pakistan to 7.5 Billion dollars.

Interior minister Rehman Malik said "It ij a core part of Pakistani prinjiple to take money whenever offered and demand for more. According to our prinjibles, we will take the money and do GUPO or whatever elje is asked from us. Bakistan has decided to take thij prinjibled ishtand on money and will not budge from this ishtand." Analysts hailed the Pakistani prinjibled ishtand. It might be recalled that the legislation contained crippling brovijions that went against Pakistani national conjience and interests. Some of the crippling stipulations include

1. Only upto 95% of the aid money can be looted by Pakistani boliticians and the army
   
   
2. No Pakistani citijen can hold two ranks simultaneously (above the rank of "Commander") in Pakistani Army as well as the taalipaan
   
   
3. No Pakistani Batriot should be demoted to RAA/CIA agint within 6 months
   
   
4. Substantial part of aid money (no less than 0.0001%) to be devoted to ejjucation, to produce atleast one person of double digit IQ per year
   
   
5. Pakistani Navy to be restrained from using their Frigates and other ships in waziristan mountains to fight against the taliban (and billing the US)
   
   
6. Coups to be restricted to once every ten years

Brisling at these restrictions Pakistani Ambassador to the US, Hussain Haqquani said "Bakistan will violently oppose any restrictions and conditionalities on aid. Imbosing conditionalities indicate lack of trust, like when the US did not trust bakistanis when they made biss agreements with taalipaan. Lack of baksheesh will lead to lack of educational opportunities to Pakistanis, leading to 4th std fail jihadis who do IED mubarak all over the world. Baksheesh is needed to produce 10th std pass jihadis to do the IED mubarak. What would you rather have ? Being blown up by bakistani trained unwashed, dirty bearded jihadi or blown up by bakistani trained clean shaven, jeans clad jihadi ?".

However, certain analysists pointed out that by agreeing to these conditionalities, pakistan is letting US poke one foot, thereby getting in through the back channel of Pakistan. Analyist J. Sethi said "Some of the conditions are double speak. For example, condition no 2 means that Bakistan eventually might be forced to abandon terrorism, jihad, random bombing and killing thereby striking at the core of our nationhood. What next ? Every donor country demanding that Pakistanis dont train to bomb their countries ? Thij is unacceptable"

Prominent examiner of other people's sex lives and toilet humorist Ejaz Haider said: the strategic socio political analysis of the capital based foundation of bakistani US transactional diplomatic agreements indicate....Bliss to give more baksheesh :( !! We will GUPO for baksheesh !! Elje we will send a JDAM !!! bliss to do GUPO without telling anyone to save our H&D . If you take our H&D we will send JDAM !!! Bliss to give baksheesh !!"

An exclusive interview with Rehman Malik confirmed Pakistan's principled stand

NSN: What are the next steps ?
Rehman Malik: In accordanje with Pakistani brijibles, soon we will start comblaining about how little the money ij and demand phor more. We will aljo proceed start comblaining about how Amreeka abandoned Pakistan in time of need.

NSN: The conditions include making progress on atleast one of the 10,000 terrorism cases. Things like Mumbai.
Rehman Malik: Quasaub is not Pakistani

NSN: The conditions include removing bakistani army membership from Quetta Shura
Rehman Malik: Quetta is not in Pakistan

NSN: What about Pakistani priciples ?
Rehman Malik: Prinjibles are not in Pakistan

Motion Passed on Wimmens in Barliament

In a revolutionary develobment, members of bakistani NA todin passed motion in the parl-e-ment. The motion panned all domestic violenje. Wimmens will no longer suffer in Bakistan. This new law was hailed by analysts and bakistani citijens are a huge progress towards ending wimmens suffrage in bakistan.

According to the bill, domestic violence includes — but is not limited to — ‘all intentional acts of gender-based or other physical or psychological abuse committed by an accused against women, children or other vulnerable persons, with whom the accused person is or has been in a domestic relationship’. Brime minister Gilani who said "Bliss to note, all apuse where the accused is not is a domestic relationship is not covered by the law" and said "youtupe videos cannot be ujed as evidenje". He aljo added "Squeezing ij not apuse"

Brime minister Gilani said that any wimmens who have peen abujed need only pring 4 witnesses to the court to give testimony against the man. To prevent misuje of this law, a provision has peen made whereby any wimmens who do false allegation can be stoned; except in cases where blasphemy can be proved, in which case the wimmens will be burned. To further prevent misuje, this law will not be applicable in FATA, NWFP, Azad Cashmere, Blochistan, armed phorjes in blochistan, doctor wimmens who work in blochistan, Parts of Krachi, Mohallas with Pashtun majority, Injide the farms owned by feudals, to Mullahs, Munir Akram, during brotests or taalipaan jirga handing out stribes in Swat. To brotect bakistani culture and traditional vocations, beepuls in punjab, karo kari, nanha peachy bottomed mujahids in madrassas and animal huspandry will be exempt. On being asked about the law, interior minister Rehman malik said "Animal huspandry is not covered becauje Kushpoo ij not considered to be a vulnerable berson, becauje kushpoo ij not a berson". Analysts say that thij law will strengthen the hand of gilani, becauje ten perjenti's appeal to add an exception to Sarah Palin was rebuffed.

In a reaction to this law, the bakistani association phor bractising hanaar and domejtic apuse of wimmens---which claims 400% membership of Bakistani men--quickly changed its name to Tehreek-e-beatings-e-motorma-al-kanadian-vija. The supreme court declared Tehreek-e-beatings-e-motorma-al-kanadian-vija to pe legal as only the bakistani association phor bractising hanaar and domejtic apuse of wimmens was panned. Munir Akram filed a amicus-curae briefing that diplomats, diplomatic and consulatory purposes like ijjuing travel papers and vijas were exempt from this law. Commenting on thij develobment, Madam Mazari said "Thij ij a YYY kanspeeracy to destroy our bakistani values and introduce alien concepts to us like bollywood music, civility and respect for wimmens". Ejaz Haider added "Thij is a landmark event in Bakistani polity, comprable to the rejent development of Swat Bolis wearing pants. With bolis wearing pants and abuje of wimmens law, India bakistan now equal equal". He aljo added "To the regular readers of this column: Here is todin's quota of my toilet humor: Mijjile, poo, Mijjile, Mijjile, poo joke he he".

Mushtalgia

Kopyrite-e-NSN 2009