Pakistan to overtake India in the field of movie entertainment
Islamabad, 01 March (NSN): In a grand ceremony today, Pakistan’s President and entertainment minister Mr. Pervez Musharraf disclosed that the country will soon overtake India in the field of movies and cinema entertainment.
“Bollywood is producing either romantic movies, comedies or horror movies, but nothing in between. There is definitely a niche for us there. Our stars are well positioned to address that in-between market”, the president said. Nobody who has ever had an encounter with the dancing dolls of Peshawar would dare disagree.
The grand ceremony was organized to celebrate the launch of Pakistan’s latest movie “Jinn Ooh, Jinn Aah” – a bold attempt at combining the genres of horror, romance and biography. The President said that the last attempt to make a movie on Jinnah failed because it only combined biography and horror, and had no romance. “Also, the horror was about a Western Dracula, not an Islamic Jinn. I am glad the producers are not taking any chances this time.” Further, in a great show of the technological prowess of Pakistan’s movie industry, a teaser trailer was recently posted on the Internet.
“Our film industry is second to none”, said the President. “We can make indigenous movies. Allah be praised, we even have a Big Bee in Pakistan”.
The clerics have endorsed Musharraf’s ideas, provided Islamic requirements are met. “As per Sharia, we need to have at least three dances in each movie. Otherwise we believe that pictures are haraam”, said a popular one-eyed cleric in the latest video tape sent to our Quetta office. “May the irony be lost upon you, Inshallah”, he said with a wink that was a blink.
The cleric also decreed that appearances of Meera, who likes to flaunt her Hindu name, will not be allowed. Instead, only the original Peshawar atom bomb named Al-mirah will be allowed (NSN confirms that the name has no relation to her tonnage). Her thigh-clapping cousin Big-Bee is also welcome, provided she resolves the legal dispute over her name with the celebrated Madam of PISS fame.
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Editor’s note: NSN requests its kamandu correspondents to please post a link to the “teaser trailer” featuring the dancing dolls of Peshawar, for the benefit of the ummah only.
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