Mullah Rasullullah on enlightened moderation in the rest of the world

Mullah Rasullulah came across these sterling examples of moderate enlightenment happening across the world due to Herr President's great policies. We present:




and of course,




two more people enlightened and we will have a mini renaissance.

Latesht neuj!!

1. As part of the president's insfrastructure improvement program in Baluchistan, new coaches have been ordered for the trains there.

Two bogies of Balochistan Express, coming from Quetta and bound for Karachi, caught fire and were burnt late Sunday near Sarhari station. No casualty however was reported, as the passengers saved their lives jumping out from the train. Most of the passengers’ belongings were reduced to ashes and the rest were looted allegedly by the local police.

Notice the help offered by the local law and order functionaries. Buried in the same link is also the export of railway infrastructure improvement program to India, and of course, helping out the US with the fuel transportation program to Afghanistan:

destroying seven fuel trucks at a key border crossing between Pakistan and Afghanistan at around 4 a.m. Monday, an official said. The attack took place about 500 meters inside northwestern Pakistan at the Torkham border crossing, said local official Hamid Khan.

If I were you allie, and an all-weather, best of best allies, I tell you, I would burn a few of your trucks, any day too.

2. Religious festivities are in full swing at the Lal Masjid complex. People from all over the country are expected to participate. Later similar festivals will be held in other cities too.

SLAMABAD, May 20: Tension mounted in the capital over the Lal Masjid issue on Sunday when police took 36 students of Jamia Fareedia in pre-emptive detention, and the madressah militants taking to streets and blocking traffic

3. Minorities are being protected better than ever:

Herbert Fernandes, President of the Catholic Association has appealed to the United Nations to intervene as a May 17 'deadline' set by militants had expired. The miltants had threatened Christians of a town to convert to Islam and close their churches or face bomb attacks. According to a press release, the spokesperson stated that 500 Christians in Charsadda, NWFP, were living in constant fear following threatening letters

Now is there anything these people wont do? Running after canadian visas, complaining to the UN !!

And the routine canadian visa applications, and the struggle to achieve your own personal 72 of the phairest happens. We might as well leave that out for the day. Its been a busy one.

Friendship games planned with Afganistan

The Germans play a friendship match (and lose) and ahead of the planned regional friendly games. While buzkashi may not get its due this time, the stock of 72 of the Phairest, Inc. is bound to sky-rocket.
Quote

Scores of heavily armed Afghan troops and fighters from special border police units-’determined, professional and evidently spoiling for a fight-gathered around their senior officers for orders. Artillerymen waited beside their 122mm field guns hidden among the mulberry groves.

and

Germany suffered its biggest loss in Afghanistan since 2003 on Saturday when three soldiers and about six Afghan civilians were killed in a suicide blast in a normally calm northern town.

Down the memory lane: Mullah Rishiullah's treasure trove

The great Rishiullah, ancient painter, sculptor and theologian, brings us these gems from NSN days past:

A reader laments

If only I could attend. Alas! I can only close my eyes and imagine.

Bakri Beauty Bageant of Bakistan

Quote:

Bakistanis are intimately connected to bakris and they want to preserve this heritage. The importance of this competition is that it helps preserve the pure-breds,” said Sheikh Musharraf.

Solid clinching evidence

Pakistan Presents Clinching Evidence of Terrorists in Pakistan
ISLAMABAD Mar 10: In a staggering new development in the Joint Terrorism Task force between India and Pakistan, the Pakistani government provided newspaper clippings of columns by Internationally acclaimed strategist Ms. Shireen Mazari, 5 boxes of used Tantex briefs, and 4 cartons of used bubblegum as conclusive proof that Pakistan was a victim of terrorism, premature ejaculation and teenage angst, in that order. In a vicious attack on the friendly attitude of India, Pakistani Foreign minister Tanseem Aslam stated, "We know who they are. We know where they are coming from, and we know that they are wearing Tantex. As you know, Tantex is an Indian brand and there is no way a Pakistani will be found debriefed while wearing Tantex. This conclusively proves that Indians are frauds, cheats, and liars, and..and...and they eat with their mouths open and smell very bad".

Pakistani officials also presented photographs of the Birthday Party of one Babloo (age 7) blowing out his birthday candles in the presence of high-ranking Indian diplomats, insisting that the room in which the photograph was taken, was located in the Balochistan. "Just look at the clouds outside the window -- this is exactly the same formation that existed in Balochistan on the day this Indian RAW agent Babloo was "celebrating his birthday"-- a most unusual activity for someone claiming to be seven years old. Unnamed Pakistani sources claim that it is open knowledge that Babloo was working deep, deep, undercover as a RAW agent in Balochistan and has recently scrawled subversive coded messages against the Pakistani Army using crayons, and thus infuriating senior Army generals. Pakistani officials claim that the clinching evidence was a set of photographs with Indian diplomats carrying boxes of Kentucky Fried Chicken and a case of Coca Cola. "This is not an Indian plot but the Americans are also involved", alleged an unnamed high-ranking official in the Pakistani Army. Pakistan has already burnt down all the enemy bases disguised as fried chicken franchises in Karachi, which has significantly reduced american influence on cholesterol levels in Karachi.


"Solid evidence"

Pakistan also handed "solid evidence" in the form of a box of solid waste, supposedly from an Indian terrorist. "Just smell it", said a Pakistani official, "and you know immediately that such odour cannot come from the insides of a Pakistani". Indian officials dismissed the presented evidence as a pile of excrement and asked for all the windows to be opened for some fresh air.

"Two-way street"

More than anything else, it appears that Pakistan wanted to make the point that the joint mechanism is a "two-way street," and not just a forum for India to air its demands. Indian officials provided Pakistan with a list of "most wanted" fugitives who were currently residing in the Pakistani Army Campus in Islamabad and in Clifton, and Pakistan demanded details of the location of these individuals, in order to decide whether the terrorists needed to be moved to safer locations. "What is this red corner notice?", demanded a Pakistani officer annoyed at the proceedings, "as a purely islamic country, we only honour green-corner notices. If you cannot respect islamic culture and heritage, we will not discuss any red-corner or green-corner notice".


Included in the list of six terrorists currently located in Pakistan are Azam Cheema, said to be the "overall military commander" of the LeT and wanted in a weapons and explosives haul case of 2004; Rasool Parti, wanted in the 2003 murder of Gujarat Minister Hiren Pandya; and Zaibuddin Ansari, wanted in the May 2006 Aurangabad arms haul case.
Pakistan is confident that these six terrorist can no longer be found in Pakistan, even though they are unaware of the precise location of these terrorists. (NSN)

---NSN Staff Report

No US dictation possible regarding tribal areas operations: Foreign Office

No US dictation possible regarding tribal areas operations: Foreign Office
Sulaiman bin Hidayath Al-Beshwari
Updated at 1820 PST

ISLAMABAD(NSN): Pakistan has termed as mere idle speculations a report by prominent right wing American media about President Bush's warning on Taliban and Al-Qaeda, adding that Islamabad does not understand dictation from any side or any source.

This was stated by Foreign Office spokesperson Tasnim Aslam at the weekly news briefing here Monday. The spokesman added, "Bush does not speak urdu, and we can only take dictation in urdu shorthand". She added sometimes post-it notes were sent in the past, but never has the president been given any dictation.

She explained that Pakistan has a comprehensive policy in tribal areas that includes military action wherever asked by Washington or required for expediting military aid from the US.

About reports regarding spring offensive by Taliban in Afghanistan, the spokesperson said Pakistan has no information on the issue. She, however, pointed out that NATO and the United States talk about the offensive and Taliban themselves have also claimed that they would attack as soon as the snow melts. But all of this is really not information, she added, "We dont really treat these sort of reports as information, really".

She told a questioner that the US Vice President, Mr. Dick Cheney called on President Pervez Musharraf and discussed bilateral and trilateral relations, positions and situations. Afghanistan and counter terrorism were discussed afterwards. She said that the president is now adding one-way mirrors to his meeting rooms to make sure enough observers are present without arousing (suspicision of) Dick Chaney or other Washington visitors.

To a question she said Iranian issue was not discussed at the meeting, Ms. Aslam added, "Iran has no business building a wall at our border, Pakistan has the responsibility of mining, and building walls on all its borders". She noted that the Pakistani Border Walls Organization is kind of busy building mud walls on the Afghanistan border these days which has led to the delays in building walls on the Iran border, adding, "Iran should be patient".

Responding to another question, Ms. Tasnim Aslam said the seven like-minded Islamic countries have convergence of views on many issues confronting the Muslim world. She said these countries can get engaged to other countries as their territories are not under Israeli occupation and they are also not under conflict situation. She highlighted the fact that Pakistan is simultaneously engaged to China and United States, besides being secretly married to Saudi Arabia. "Islam allows upto four liaisons", she said.

These countries, therefore, in a position to deal with all sides and in all positions. She said islam does not forbid any position. She categorically stated that the purpose of the group was not to exclude any one. Instead, the President, the Prime Minister and the Foreign Minister had intimate interaction with the leadership of Iran, Syria, Lebanon and Palestine. The spokesman added she would have liked to participate too, but was otherwise occupied during the time.

To another question the spokesperson said Pakistan expects that during meeting of the anti-terrorism mechanism next week, Indian side would share with us the progress made in the investigations into Samjotha Express tragedy. She said as this would be the first meeting of the mechanism, it is very important that we approach it with a constructive mindset. The Pakistani side had already expressed its preference for palak pakoras. Neutral Ceylon tea is usually used at these bilateral meetings.

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This (is very probably, the application is pindi, and the patent is pindi, probably stuck in security checks, or name check or something) NSN

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Whole world to suffer: Kasuri

Whole world to suffer: Kasuri
Updated at 1745 PST
Sulaiman bin Hidayath Al-Beshawari
Abblikation pindi (Copyright NSN).

KASUR (NSN): Foreign Minister Khurshid Mahmud Kasuri said Tuesday that if America ignored Pakistan, the consequences would have to be faced by the whole world. Addressing a gathering of lawyers at Chunian district of Kasur, he said Pakistan is already facing problems related with Afghanistan and is also regaining its leadership by reuniting the fractured islamic world in trying to dissolve the standoff between USA and Iran through dialogue. The minister added, "Islam does not allow a partner to just walk away".

Pakistan is the only country that has had intimate relations with USA and China simultaneously, the foreign minister said adding that Pakistan entered into 34 agreements with China. These agreements will give a great boost to the national population, he remarked. "Even religious leader here are named Maulana Sandwich", quipped the minister.

Khurshid Kasuri said that America is undoubtedly a super power, but Pakistan is not acting upon its agenda, adding that Pakistan never supported USA over (Pakistan’s) tight and firm interests. That is not an islamic position, remarked the minister. Pakistan has stood tall among the Islamic nations by establishing lasting relationships that have borne and reared the fruits of development, added the minister.

Pakistan is a nuclear power and playing a leading role in the Islamic world, which is a clear proof of the best foreign policy of the government, he added. On sidelines of the meeting the minister advised the lawyers to give up highway robbery and practice in the courts instead. The government is also preparing a rehabilitation scheme for lawyers who might be adversely affected due to giving up their profession as a docait.

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This is (mostly true and only minimally) NSN.

The President General's position on the War on Terror

The President General's position on the War on Terror

NSN (Islamabad): We reproduce below the text of a fax message from HMEHPPGPM:

[Hand-written at top of fax sheet: "Follow up to our talk yesterday -PM"]

The rightful position of Pakistan in the War on Terror must be recognized.

Some may say Pakistan is in bed with America, but I say the rules of engagement are clear; even if this is a marriage of convenience for some, one cannot be divorced from reality: this War on Terror is our baby. The people must be educated: it is elementary that Pakistan is in the middle of the war, even though we take the moral high ground and, out of collegiality, let the United States say it is the leader in this war, everyone knows that it is Pakistan that is getting the job done, and is the real team leader. We only ask for rightful compensation for our unretiring work.

We will succeed, Inshallah, in achieving our potential as a great nation the likes of which the world has not seen since the dawn of civilization.

Pakistan Paindabad.



This is NSN.

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