A day of commemorating the obvious by repeating it endlessly. Today, we start with the dear departing soul in Londonistan. Who says:

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Taliban infiltrate from Pak: UK LONDON - British Prime Minister Tony Blair has said that many of Taliban fighters are infiltrating Afghanistan from the bases in Pakistan.

Eh, what? You must be mistaken, my dear sir. Don't you know, what?

Took him long enough, no? And so what is so great if its true? If they took proper care of them while they are across, they wouldn't be crossing the border again to begin with. And what about those root causes? 90,000, anyone? Porous, mountainous something, I recall too.

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Alleged rapists of Japanese girls getting easy way out LAHORE - The police prefers to dump a case or brush the matter under the carpet through divergent dubious means when the influential families put pressure on the ‘efficient’ law and order force.

Making a molehill out of an ant farm, to say the least. Did the women have a chaperon? Are they of the faith? Are of four of the five people witnesses? How can the police do anything then? Why throw this scientific mumbo jumbo about evidence and what not? Did it curdle or go sour if it took a couple days more?

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Tourism project has expected returns ISLAMABAD: Federal Minister for Tourism Nilofar Bakhtiar is reportedly neglecting her office work despite the prime minister’s rejection of her resignation. This is putting into jeopardy activities related to the “Visit Pakistan Year” project.

Now we all like Nilo-far didi. She did a far out thing by hugging a bald old person. Very kind and considerate people. Must we blame eveything on her?

Music aficionados protest bad quality recordings in Swabi

Music aficionados protest bad quality recordings in Swabi
By our correspondent, Cultural coffee table, NSN

SWABI (NSN): People of the Haryan village carried out a tumultuous protest against poor quality recordings after friday prayers. Terming them dangerous for the young generation, they regretted the lost melodies of Noor jehan, Nusrat fateh Ali and other respected artists. Protest leaders exhorted the audience to beware of the foreign hand that is feeding this cultural poison to the unsuspecting and innocent youth of Pakistan. Maulana Shamsi Khan, Maulana Shakirullah, Maulana Abdullah and President Ittehad-i-Kashthkaran Muhammad Arif lead the people in protest. They were unanimous in decrying piracy from across the border that is destroying the fledgling cottage Pakistani music Industry. Carrying banners and flags, the protesters held hands and sang Noor Jehan songs from the 60s. Later, a bonfire was lit for the enjoyment of the crowd. "This is one of the few ways young people can get together these days and not raise any suspicion", said Alhamidullah, who like most Pakistanis does not really use his name much, and was there with his friend.

Protest meetings are fast becoming social events in conservative Pakistan. Six days ago a noisy air vacuum protest shuttered another CD shop in Shewa Adda, and deterred another three shops. It also sent a clear warning to shop owners to improve their business practices. When contacted about the incident, federal tourism minister Ms.Nilofar Bakhtiar said there were plans to promote all kinds of social gatherings in Pakistan during the "Visit Pakistan 2007" initiative. Protest meetings can be a unique tourist attraction and great foreign exchange earners if only people were more understanding about Pakistani society, she noted.

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Solid clinching evidence

Pakistan Presents Clinching Evidence of Terrorists in Pakistan
ISLAMABAD Mar 10: In a staggering new development in the Joint Terrorism Task force between India and Pakistan, the Pakistani government provided newspaper clippings of columns by Internationally acclaimed strategist Ms. Shireen Mazari, 5 boxes of used Tantex briefs, and 4 cartons of used bubblegum as conclusive proof that Pakistan was a victim of terrorism, premature ejaculation and teenage angst, in that order. In a vicious attack on the friendly attitude of India, Pakistani Foreign minister Tanseem Aslam stated, "We know who they are. We know where they are coming from, and we know that they are wearing Tantex. As you know, Tantex is an Indian brand and there is no way a Pakistani will be found debriefed while wearing Tantex. This conclusively proves that Indians are frauds, cheats, and liars, and..and...and they eat with their mouths open and smell very bad".

Pakistani officials also presented photographs of the Birthday Party of one Babloo (age 7) blowing out his birthday candles in the presence of high-ranking Indian diplomats, insisting that the room in which the photograph was taken, was located in the Balochistan. "Just look at the clouds outside the window -- this is exactly the same formation that existed in Balochistan on the day this Indian RAW agent Babloo was "celebrating his birthday"-- a most unusual activity for someone claiming to be seven years old. Unnamed Pakistani sources claim that it is open knowledge that Babloo was working deep, deep, undercover as a RAW agent in Balochistan and has recently scrawled subversive coded messages against the Pakistani Army using crayons, and thus infuriating senior Army generals. Pakistani officials claim that the clinching evidence was a set of photographs with Indian diplomats carrying boxes of Kentucky Fried Chicken and a case of Coca Cola. "This is not an Indian plot but the Americans are also involved", alleged an unnamed high-ranking official in the Pakistani Army. Pakistan has already burnt down all the enemy bases disguised as fried chicken franchises in Karachi, which has significantly reduced american influence on cholesterol levels in Karachi.


"Solid evidence"

Pakistan also handed "solid evidence" in the form of a box of solid waste, supposedly from an Indian terrorist. "Just smell it", said a Pakistani official, "and you know immediately that such odour cannot come from the insides of a Pakistani". Indian officials dismissed the presented evidence as a pile of excrement and asked for all the windows to be opened for some fresh air.

"Two-way street"

More than anything else, it appears that Pakistan wanted to make the point that the joint mechanism is a "two-way street," and not just a forum for India to air its demands. Indian officials provided Pakistan with a list of "most wanted" fugitives who were currently residing in the Pakistani Army Campus in Islamabad and in Clifton, and Pakistan demanded details of the location of these individuals, in order to decide whether the terrorists needed to be moved to safer locations. "What is this red corner notice?", demanded a Pakistani officer annoyed at the proceedings, "as a purely islamic country, we only honour green-corner notices. If you cannot respect islamic culture and heritage, we will not discuss any red-corner or green-corner notice".


Included in the list of six terrorists currently located in Pakistan are Azam Cheema, said to be the "overall military commander" of the LeT and wanted in a weapons and explosives haul case of 2004; Rasool Parti, wanted in the 2003 murder of Gujarat Minister Hiren Pandya; and Zaibuddin Ansari, wanted in the May 2006 Aurangabad arms haul case.
Pakistan is confident that these six terrorist can no longer be found in Pakistan, even though they are unaware of the precise location of these terrorists. (NSN)

---NSN Staff Report

Bakistan Fauji Herrow welcomed to stay in Afghanistan

Bakistan Fauji Herrow welcomed to stay in Afghanistan

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Kandahar, March 7: Afghan troops captured a senior Taliban commander who tried to escape a manhunt disguised as a woman wearing an all-covering burqa, the NATO force said.

Protection of culture: Taliban made to face music

Protection of culture: Taliban made to face music Sulaiman bin Hidayath Al-Beshawari Abblikation pindi (Copyright NSN). March 1, 2007 PESHAWAR (NSN): In a stunning reversal of the hardline fundamentalist policies of the Taliban, Mullah Obaidullah Akhund, deputy to the elusive one-eyed bearded fundamentalist spiritual chief and former Pakistan supported ruler of Afghanistan, Mullah Mohammad Omar was taken to a music performance in Quetta, a federal government official has told reporters. The Mullah was made to face the music on Monday, the official said, requesting anonymity due to sensitivity of the matter. It seems the US vice-president had shown hard and firm facts about the Mullah to President Musharraf, undercutting his (tall) stories (about Taliban being in Afghanistan). "It was very unfair", noted the offical adding, "the president was not looking, he was picking (on) a scrap of paper, when the facts were presented". The president likes the firm and hard facts presented to his face. The Taliban leader carried a $1 million reward and is the most senior Taliban figure captured ever. Pakistan regularly captures the Al-qaeda #3 after facts are presented to it by the US administration. Pakistan has collected millions of dollars in bounty from captured taliban and Al-qaeda. It plans to use the money for development in Baluchistan, Waziristan, FATA, and other parts of NWFP. This time President Musharraf was outnumbered, given the hardness of the firm facts both from the CIA deputy-director as well the vice-president, decided it was time to bend (to their requests) and elevate the capture to a #2. His arrest came the day US Vice-President Dick Cheney declined to spend the night after visiting Islamabad. It is also understood that Musharraf's stipend was in danger if he did not coopulate. The new Democratic Congress could cut aid unless Pakistan improves its performance. So there was an extra session with the deputy director to take back unbiased opinion for the congress. Officials however, denied there was a link with Mr Cheney’s visit and the action which led to his arrest had been planned in advance based on good intelligence."His visa had expired", said the official. The official declined to give further information but said that two others who were captured along with Mullah Obaidullah “could be” Amir Khan Haqqani, a Taliban commander in Zabul, and Abdul Bari, the former governor of Helmand province. It seems that Musharraf's heart was broken when the vice-president involved the deputy director of the CIA in the revelry. "He thought it was a monogamous relationship", noted the official. The president is trying hard to firmly get back in the fair and good books of the vice-president again. NATO officials and western diplomats consider Mullah Obaidullah as one of those closest lieutenants of Mullah Omar. The other two were Mullah Akhtar Osmani and Mullah Akhtar Mohammad Mansoor. Pakistan is keeping the other 9 (or 17) members of the Taliban leadership council safe until the full complement of its 96 F-16 fighters is delivered. Pakistanies had run out of polish for their older F-16s after the September 11 attacks. It is considered dirty to have unpolished missiles or planes in deeply conservative Pakistan. Mullah Osmani, who was a former Taliban army chief, was killed in a US air strike in Helmand in December last year. His death was a blow to Pakistani plans for a winter offensive in Afghanistan. "The government still believes it can resurrect the strategic depth", note the official. Now with the spring offensive also under threat, Pakistan will have its work cut out to restore its strategic depth. Hailing from Punjwai district of Kandahar province, Mullah Obaidullah Akhund was widely considered as the military chief of Taliban forces. It may take a day or two for Pakistan to find a replacement for him to lead Taliban's military strategy. "He had wide body (of experience)", said the official. Previous number three captures from Pakistan include Former Taliban spokesman Abdul Latif Hakimi who is said to have given the street disclosed the street address of the Mullah to the americans, "We are surprised he could not take the littlest bit of torture", said a Taliban spokesman in Peshawar. "Quetta is becoming quite unbearable", he noted adding that beheadings had stopped having an effect on the spies. When asked if the arrest of Mullah Omar’s deputy had put the security agencies anywhere close to the elusive Taliban leader, the official said: “Only two of the planes have been delivered so far, and we have also been exhausting the supply of missiles", adding "Had a squadron or two been delivered, he would have been taken by now.” Pakistan, a deeply conservative muslim moderate nation of 160 million, is aiming for leadership of the muslim world under its martial president Musharraf, who has turned (around) the countries economy from being based upon drug money to one based on fake notes, and money from blackmailing america. Pakistan places great importance upon its F-16 planes, which are routinely polished with the finest wax (derived from sacred goats) and displays them as part of its cultural heritage at all national events. --------------------------------- Agencies (AP) contributed to this report. Advertisements wanted: our news is read, not just used for goat fodder!! This is again ( jop abblication bindi (batent bindi), but really mostly from the wires) NSN

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