Saturday, June 30, 2007

Be afraid...

What is a poor commando to do, when..
ISLAMABAD, June 29: President Gen Pervez Musharraf said on Friday that an operation could be launched against the Lal Masjid and Jamia Hafsa brigade, but a raid would lead to heavy casualties on both sides because a large number of suicide bombers were inside the mosque and seminaries.

Responding to reporters’ questions at the concluding ceremony of the National Media Workshop at the National Defence University, President Musharraf said: “Can you guarantee that blood of any dead or injured will not be screened on television channels during the operation?”

Friday, June 29, 2007

An activist court has no place in a conservative country

In response to attrocities such as:

Bail for ‘same-sex’ couple; SC suspends jail sentence
ISLAMABAD, June 28: The Supreme Court on Thursday granted bail to a ‘same-sex’ couple and suspended a verdict handed down by the Lahore High Court. The high court had declared the marriage un-Islamic and sentenced the two to three years in jail.

the government responds with:

Govt likely to seek reference hearing by full court: counsel
ISLAMABAD, June 28: The federal government on Thursday placed the entire material relating to the reference against Chief Justice Iftikhar Mohammad Chaudhry before the Supreme Court and assured the bench that it would not object if the full court adjudged the reference

Thursday, June 28, 2007

Local technology exports lauded

PESHAWAR: Locally-made technology used in vacuums

PESHAWAR, June 28: Local technology for creating vacuum has been used in most of the recent infrastructure improvement in the province, sources say. The sources said the traders did not have to transport such technology as they could be manufactured in the cities where the improvements were carried out using certain material available locally.

They said the recent improvements in CD shops in Charsadda, Tank, Mardan and Peshawar had been caused by locally-made vaccum.

After the air vacuums now we have water vacuum..

Gas supply disrupted due to water vacuum formation
QUETTA, June 28: Gas supply to Quetta and four other districts of Balochistan was disrupted after a main gas pipeline was affected by water vacuum in the Bolan River between Dhadar and Gokart, some 100km from here, on Wednesday night.

“A big portion of the 12-inch-diameter pipeline was restored away by the vacuum,” an SSGC official said. Gas supply to Quetta, Kalat, Mastung, Pishin and Ziarat districts was disrupted.

Some one explain this to me...

Examiners Taxed
LAHORE - The Punjab University has imposed six per cent tax on the marking of answer sheets of examinations held both on annual basis and semester system of BA, BSc, and MA, MSc, examinations.

To be tall and to be fair

Wardens to ward off traffic trials from today

LAHORE - A brand new police force riding on hooting bikes and cars, more closer to international standards, replacing an old order based upon extortion, tilted towards the privileged classes, and mandated to put some sense in the otherwise wild traffic, will assume the commands of the City roads on Thursday (today).


Awwwww. I mean look at then, aren't they just the tops?

Wednesday, June 27, 2007

Meanwhile, on the other side

Some fireworks have been reported.
Frontier Corps celebrate victory
QUETTA, July 26: Local residents on Thursday held revelries with FC men. They fired rockets at a Frontier Corps check post in the Dera Bugti area. Officials said the FC men also fired rockets at the positions of militants. No casualty or damage to property was reported. The match was considered a draw. Another fixture is planned soon.

Meanwhile, security forces were put on high alert in Balochistan in view of recent terrorist attacks in various parts of the country.

A meeting was held here under the Balochistan Chief Secretary, K.B. Rind, which decided to provide maximum security to foreigners.

A un-mis-phortunate mistke onlee

What? No freedom fighters any more? Someone's going to get a long vacation, people.
2 Kashmiri militants killed

SRINAGAR, July 26: Two Kashmiri militants were killed and seven Indian soldiers wounded in an apparent suicide attack when they stormed a paramilitary forces camp here on Thursday, police said.

While militants routinely attack security posts in their bid to oust India from the Himalayan region, brazen daylight attacks are rare in occupied Srinagar.

Lashkar-i-Taiba, one of the largest of the more than a dozen rebel groups that have been fighting India since 1989, claimed responsibility for the attack in a call to the local news agency, Current News Service.

If only there was cooperation

As you know if only the enlightened could moderate the neighbors, if only the media would cooperate in spreading the enlightenment.

The masses are enlightened
KARACHI- Parents, Teachers, Religious Scholors,NGO and Media can play a vital role against the curse of narcotics. This was said by the Waseem Akther Advisor to CM Sindh on Home during a walk on International Anti Narcotics Day which organized by Anti Narcotics Force.
Addressing to the participant of the walk Mr Waseem said narcotics is a curse for the society and it affects the good minds and added that 4 million people were addict of drugs in Pakistan which was a concerned.
And that number is so small simply because neighbors are not cooperating

Moderate drought due to supply drying up
Federal Minister for Narcotics Control Ghaus Bux Khan Mehar said that Afghan government was not playing due role in drug eradication campaign at international level and that was the reason Afghanistan was one of the largest heroin producing countries in the world.

To a question about the possibility of smuggling of the chemical from India into Afghanitan through Afghan Transit Trade, the minister said that they were helpless in this connection as they could not open the containers going to Afghanistan through Afghan Transit Trade.
Don't worry people, its a market economy everywhere in the neighborhood now. It may inflate prices a little, but we hear there has been a bumper harvest this year!!

Domestic disturbances

We often fail to recognize the cruel impact of domestic disturbances on men. Consider the following:

Love affair and illicit relations cost three lives

I bet you are going to give me your feminist nonsense of these three being women. Read on then,

Three men were shot dead either over love affair or having illicit relations in as many incidents here in different parts of the Punjab Capital, police sources said on Tuesday.

A 25-year-old boy was shot dead by the brothers of his paramour in Nishtar Colony area while the ex-husband of a woman gunned down a vendor in Batapura locality on the suspicion of illicit relations.

In the third incident, another youth was killed by the paramour of his wife in Ghaziabad locality, police sources maintained.

Is it any surprise then, that the faith protects the women differently, for their and society's good.

Tuesday, June 26, 2007

Now, then..


The green documents now really easy to acquire..
Quote:

Also, passport-seekers call for better facilities at the passport office. They say that agents are fleecing them at the passport office on various pretexts.

You know, there is a huge demand for the pure green documents.

With the great islamic traditions:



one thing leads to another, and before you know it:

Woman given canadian citizenship
Quote:

Shahida, 25, working in a travel agency, had hired an upper portion of the house of Hidayat some eight days back through a property dealer.

On Sunday, Hidayat went to his in-laws along with his family. When he returned on Monday, his wife told him about the blood flowing from a drainpipe. He gathered the locals, broke open the lock of the upper portion and found Shahida dead in a pool of blood.

Police reached the spot and removed the half-naked body for autopsy.


due to which you need to uphold the traditions with:

Two more contribute to culture and tradition
Quote:

NAWABSHAH, June 25: A man and a woman were shot dead on the pretext of karo-kari in Rawat Chandio village near Qazi Ahmed on Sunday evening. Punhal Chandio, 25, and Ms Zohra, 20, were shot dead on the pretext of karo-kari by the latter’s uncle Ali Hassan alias Hasnu.
/*K_K_Counter = K_K_Counter +1;*/ //20 for 2007, do we need to keep this up or is it a new record already?

Monday, June 25, 2007

The NY Times says..

From The New York Times, we have

June 25, 2007
Islamabad Journal
Militant Students Capture Masseuses to Make a Point
By JANE PERLEZ

“There were about 25 Chinese women, dressed only in underpants and bras,” recalled Ms. Okasha, 24, a muscular high-school badminton champion who had shed her black garb for soft mauves, her face uncovered, during an interview inside the women-only confines of the school. “They scattered, but we managed to grab five.”

......

The vigilantes, including students from an affiliated school for men, shoved the skimpily clad Chinese masseuses into a car, gave them shawls for modesty and hauled them back to the school as hostages, she said.

.....

Mr. Ghazi, dressed in a white turban and flowing white tunic, implied that the massage parlor was a brothel, saying that a massage cost the equivalent of about $20, and “extras” about $10. “If you want massage treatment, men should go to men, and women should go to women,” he said.

.....

Ms. Hassan, her face absent of makeup but her fingernails and toenails varnished with red, said she was proud of her raiders.

.....

“I said to the students before they went off, ‘The Chinese are masters at karate; you don’t know how to make one kick.’ But they were able to manage.”

In light of..

In light of Salman Rushdie's knighhood, we observe (via littlegreenfootballs):

Saturday, June 23, 2007

In light of the deeper than sea friendship with Bakistan, chinese women have decided to emulate their compatriots in the land of the faithful. With this addition of about 500 million approximately, it also solves the problem of the lack of 72 of the Phairest for a long long time.




Students from the Red Mosque and Jamia Hafsa female seminary early in the day raided an acupuncture clinic, which they said was a brothel, and kidnapped the nine people, including six Chinese women.

Examples of superhuman strength...

What are these people supected of, then?
The staff of Anti-Car Lifting Cell (ACLC) held eighteen suspects involved in lifting of 28 cars and 45 motorcycles.

Scholarly events
Dr Sher Ali Shah, renowned religious scholar and mentor of world’s most wanted men, Osama bin Laden and Mulla Muhammad Omar, will be the chief guest at the final of All-Karachi Inter-Madaris Debate Competition, on the June 28, being held at a local seminary.

Why service industry must constantly improve quality
QUETTA, June 22: Four people were injured when two men on motorbikes lobbed an explosive device into a barber’s shop on the busy Prince Road on Friday night.

Stress management a must in operating modern devices
ISLAMABAD, June 22: Four pilots of the Pakistan International Airlines (PIA) have suffered heart attacks in recent weeks because of the growing work pressure, adding to the woes of the already beleaguered airline.

Better than shaving
KHAR, June 22: Pro-Taliban militants in Fata beheaded an Afghan national for allegedly spying for US-led forces in Afghanistan, officials said on Friday.

Free vacations to friends (only deeper than sea kind accepted)
ISLAMABAD, June 22: The Lal Masjid and Jaima Hafsa brigade raided a Chinese massage parlour in the posh F-8 sector of Islamabad on Friday night and kidnapped five Chinese workers, three of them women.

Rational expression of grievances
KARACHI - Angry citizens went on rampage on Saturday in various parts of the city due to the prolong power outrage and set ablaze a Karachi Electric Supply Corporation vehicle, beat staffers, burnt tyres, pelt stones and stopped vehicular traffic on various thoroughfares resulting in massive traffic jams, Said reports received from the effected areas.

Who's missing then?

Here is a list of all those who have fulfilled their duty to the good book, over the publication of the bad book:

a) The mullah - they have put their wallet where their mouth is.
Quote:
Collections reach $1m and counting
PESHAWAR, June 22: A prayer leader on Friday announced a $1 million reward for anyone killing Salman Rushdie and awarded the title of Amirul Momineen (chief of the faithful) to Al Qaeda chief Osama bin Laden.
So Mullah Omar is demoted, then?

b) The people's representatives - they have put their effigies where their mouths are ( I salute their effort, it probably hurt)
Quote:
JUI-F leads protest against Rushdie’s knighthood
QUETTA, June 22: Jamiat Ulema-i-Islam (Fazl) leaders and activists took out a procession on Friday against the British government’s decision to confer knighthood on controversial writer Salman Rushdie.

Protest day against Rushedie title observed
KARACHI - Protests against continued in the city on Friday against Britain’s awarding knighthood to blasphemer Salman Rushdie.

Hundreds of mosques, seminaries, religious organizations and people from all walks of life participated in the protest demonstrations to express their anger against the British honor given to the India born Rushdie.

Bad, India, bad, bad India. Producing people who write books!!

c) The gourment - Led by the prime minister, state and federal both have moved resolution, broken benches, and even held meetings !!
Quote:
Blair hates Muslims
Parliamentary Affairs Minister Sher Afgan Niazi said the house had passed a unanimous resolution in this context. “The government has strongly protested and told the British high commissioner that Pakistanis have been deeply hurt by their action,” Afgan said.

The minister said Rushdie had made no contribution to literature and in fact, the British government had negated its own traditions by knighting him. “In Britain only those are knighted who have won a Nobel Prize.” He, however, said he would not favour a second resolution in the house.

Dr Attaur Rehman of the MMA said Pakistan should withdraw as a frontline state in the “war on terrorism,” because it also includes Britain and the US.


So, we have a prized goat for whoever comes up with who is yet to voice their opinion on the subject. One entry per household onlee.
--------------------------------
[NSN - Capturing your death to america effigy burnings for decades]
Adv.
Fauji Effigyworks: Special seasonal discount on Bush, Blair, and India effigies. Order yours today.
Osama T-shirts free while supplies last.
Well polished Missiles always in stock, for your marriages and functions.
You pick up, we don't deliver. No returns or exchanges on partially burnt products.
Ghauri Missile Bus stand, Islamabad
[Statutory Warning: flammable products ]

Friday, June 22, 2007

Women's rights


Girl crosses LoC to escape unwanted groom
Quote:

SRINAGAR, June 21: An 18-year-old girl of Azad Kashmir disliked her husband-to-be so much that she fled to occupied Kashmir in a high-altitude trek across one of the world’s deadliest borders, reports said on Thursday.

Anida Khan made it safely over the Line of Control, where Indian troops are posted in huge numbers to shoot infiltrators, before she was arrested.

Paging LalMullah, and Dukhtar-e-Milat. How can the tight and fair groom be rejected? Where HandD?

Kafeela asked to provide evidence in investigation
Quote:

ISLAMABAD, June 21: A report prepared and released by the chemical examiner, Punjab, on Thursday night showed that Kafeela Siddique, a Canadian national of Pakistani origin who had reportedly been living with former minister of state Shahid Jamil Quershi, had not died because of consumption of any hazardous substance.


Higher prices to lead to further inflation
Quote:

TAXILA, June 21: An 11-year-old boy who was abducted from Quaid-e-Azam street Nawababad in jurisdiction of Wah Cantonment Police station 28 days back was released after payment of Rs2.80 million.


There are now only TWO shops left to go
Quote:

ESHAWAR, June 21: Owners of two more leading video shops here have been warned of dire consequences unless they wind up the sale of video compact discs (VCDs) within two months.

Letters were sent anonymously through postal system to Shabana Videos and Bilal CD Shop in Nishtarabad on Tuesday.


Women's rights always first
Quote:

MARDAN, June 21: A woman of Shahbaz Garhi, who had earlier been pronounced dead due to natural cause, had been stoned to death in the name of honour by her husband, father and a brother, a court was told here on Thursday. /* K_K_Counter = K_K_Counter + 1; */ //18 for 2007

Signs of a great democracy...

PA Speaker ready to kill Rushdie

LAHORE-Speaker Punjab Assembly Ch Muhammad Afzal Sahi has said it has been preordained in Islam that the punishment for a blasphemer is death, and if blasphemer Salman Rushdie comes in front of him, he will definitely kill him.

Where there are KFC outlets on fire ....

Turkish Flag in TSP currency
Quote:
THE red Turkish flag on Pakistan’s new Rs1,000 currency note perhaps depicts the good relationship between Pakistan and Turkey.

Where there are KFC outlets on fire, there is:

Exhibit A:
Pakistan: Protests to be held over Rushdie title
Quote:
Protests against Britain's decision to honor Salman Rushdie are set to take place across Pakistan on Friday, a day after a hardline cleric bestowed a title on Osama bin Laden in response to the author's knighthood.

Pakistani Islamists plan Rushdie protests
Quote:
ISLAMABAD -- Islamic hardliners planned protests across Pakistan Friday against the UK's award of a knighthood to novelist Salman Rushdie.
Meanwhile a provincial chief minister handed back medals given to his grandfather by the former British colonial rulers of India in protest at the honor for the author of the Satanic Verses.
Quote:
LAHORE, June 21: The ruling members of the Punjab Assembly, led by chief minister Chaudhry Pervaiz Elahi, staged a walk-out from the house in protest against Benazir Bhutto’s statement in respect of blasphemer Salman Rushdie.

Speaker Afzal Sahi ruled that any offender of blasphemy against the Holy Prophet (PBUH) is liable to be killed and he will definitely kill the blasphemer if that person will come across. He said this is the faith of every Muslim.

He gave these remarks during a debate in the house over knighthood to Salman Rushdie and a statement of former prime minister Benazir Bhutto on the issue.

Later, the ruling MPAs walked out from the house protesting against the statement of Benazir Bhutto but came back after a while. They shouted slogans against Benazir Bhutto and raised placards.

Meanwhile, there was also a scuffle between ruling MPA Zeenat Khan and PPP’s Uzma Bukhari.

Opposition leader Qasim Zia, participating in the debate, said that suicide attacks are not valid in Islam. Declaring suicide attack valid by Ejazul Haq is a conspiracy against the entire Muslim ummah.

Giving the ruling on this occasion, speaker Afzal Sahi said that a blasphemer is liable to be killed but this depends on the killer of the blasphemer that he himself kills or not. He said that if a blasphemer comes across him hw will definitely kill him.

Now showing...

Now showing: Horror film starring ‘burqaman’

Islamabad, June 20 : Forget Freddy Krueger and Norman Bates — here comes the “Burqaman”. The first serious Pakistani horror flick for a quarter of a century features a psychopath dressed in a blood-soaked version of the traditional garb of Islamic women. Hordes of zombies, including a dwarf, add to the gore in the self-financed Zibahkhana, or Hell’s Ground, which premiered in Islamabad last weekend.

Thursday, June 21, 2007

What to do when you have a power cut ...

Number 17: Visit your local KFC.

And for good measure

air vac·u·um (âr văk'yÅ«-É™m, -yÅ«m, -yÉ™m)
n., pl. -u·ums or -u·a (-yÅ«-É™).
    1. Absence of matter caused by a bomb explosion.
    2. "not true".
    3. If your room is virtually airtight, and one electricity bulb bursts, it produces a big sound.
  1. Bang created in buildings that are under high pressure.
  2. A state of being sealed off from external or environmental influences; isolation.
Quote:
A hotel employee, Khurram Ahmed, told AFP: "It seems to be a bomb explosion. The bomb was apparently hidden in one of the flower pots near the entrance of the hotel. The blast was huge. It shook everyone in the hotel."

Information Minister Sheikh Rashid Ahmed said reports of a bomb were "not true".

"It was just an accident caused by short-circuiting and nothing else," he said.

Brigadier Javed Cheema of the interior ministry's national crisis management unit told AFP: "We haven't found any evidence that would suggest that it was an act of sabotage.

"The evidence indicates the blast was caused by short-circuiting. At the moment we rule out the possibility of any act of terrorism."

Brigadier Cheema said there could have been an air vacuum in the hotel.

"If your room is virtually airtight, even if one electricity bulb bursts, it produces a big sound," he said.

"These buildings are under high pressure so hence the bang was created."

What do you know...


Here is another blast from the past:

A Quij...

Queschun 1. How many girls must the family have before drowning is an attractive option?
Quote:
The family of Khan Mohammad had gone for a picnic in Dashat-e-Godan area where seven-year-old Chana slipped into deep water while playing on the bank of the river, police said.
Two other girls of the family, nine-year-old Kasoom and 14-year-old Shahnaz, rushed to rescue Chana, but they also slipped into water. People of the area later brought their bodies out of the river.

Queschun 2. What should you do if your home falls in the newly notified mountainous arms testing range?
Quote:
Reports in the US media identified the new weapon system as High Mobility Artillery Rockets or Himars, a complement to Predator drones. They are particularly useful when bad weather prevents high-altitude strikes, are mounted on trucks and can be fired from any location.

Note: Also hard to reach, if not travelling by air.

Queschun 3. What is the name of the deeper than sea friend that wants your first borne, and the twenty one that followed him?
Quote:
The source said China had provided a list of 22 wanted rebels belonging to East Turkistan Islamic Movement, a secessionist organisation, based in Sinkiang province bordering Pakistan.

Queschun 4. How do you stay in good professional form, when on holiday?
Quote:
Spanish police arrested at least 21 people, most of them from Pakistan and Iran, accused of disguising themselves as police and robbing tourists of cash, cameras and cell phones in the northeast Catalonia region.

Queschun 5. Why will the canadian visa become harder in the future?
Quote:
A series of roadside bombings in Afghanistan on Wednesday killed eight people, including three Canadian Nato soldiers.

Queschun 6. What do you do when the notified arms testing range deprives you of your proving grounds?
Quote:
A rocket hit the building of a girls’ school on Tuesday in the Gang Tangi area of the Bajur Agency, residents said.

Wednesday, June 20, 2007

Media presence



Here is how to impress the ladies, in better than the previous record (which, as you know, was just under two minutes held by the prime minister) . Scratch your privates, on national TV. The gentleman, is only a minister.

Alpositivillah neujuddin bin akhbariya

Kindlee to note, some exhibits:

a) Man teaches daughter to follow the path of the founding cousins and presidents
Quote:

The daughter, Zaibun Nisa, had married Mr Yaqoob of the same village of her own will three years ago and shifted to some unknown place. Some people say the unknown place was canada. There has been a rash of canadian returnee related incidents lately.

/* K_K_Counter = K_K_Counter +1; */ //17 for 2007


b) Chief Justice would like a biscuit
Quote:

“We usually have our evening tea with the chief justice at his residence but the time has come to invite him here over tea next week at a day of his convenience,” SCBA president Munir A. Malik said here on Tuesday. He added that it has been getting harder for the chief justice to get biscuits for the entire bar association since his salary was not getting paid anymore.

c) Effective population control and stock speculation
Quote:

At least 22 people were shahidized and 10 others moderately lightened when a missile hit a cluster of compounds in Datakhel area of North Waziristan on Tuesday, an official in Peshawar and residents in the area said.
However, a senior government official and the local Taliban said the number might be as high as 32. He said local procurers were working overtime for the supply of the 72 of the phairest needed by this sudden spurt.


d) Mermaids discovered in Pakistan
Quote:

PFF Chairman Mohammad Ali Shah said the waderas were defaming the culture of Sindh by kidnapping their women.

He alleged that Khatu Mallah had been kidnapped by the waderas of Jati. The PFF chief asked the acting chief justice of the Supreme Court of Pakistan, the CJ of the Sindh High Court and the president to take steps for the recovery of the kidnapped woman.

e) Improvement in family relations lauded
Quote:

A rivalry between two warring groups — Lashkar-i-Islam and Ansaar-ul Islam — claimed one more life on Tuesday when an elderly man was killed by his young nephew.

Family sources told Dawn that Haji Massed Khan urged his nephew Minat Khan to join the Lashkar-i-Islam but Minat Khan refused to do so. This led to an exchange of hot words between the two, and Minat Khan smashed the head of his uncle against a heavy stone, killing him on the spot.


f) Enlightened masses participate in the democratic process
Quote:

The MNA, at a meeting on Tuesday with Khyber Agency’s assistant election commissioner Farid Khan claimed that only eight per cent of the Tirah residents had been registered as voters. He cited illiteracy and remoteness of the area as the main reasons for non-registration of residents as voters.


and finally

g) Mothers and their cousins are asking why there are so many kids with heart deformities
Quote:

Approximately, 49,000 children are born in Pakistan with heart diseases, out them 10,000 require surgery in the first three months.
In the whole country not more than 2,000(surgeries of children are done.

Tuesday, June 19, 2007

Londonistan "nights" Salman Rushdie


There are wild celebrations in the moderately enlightened cities, e.g. courtesy the corporation for broadcasting in britainistan:

Londonistan rebuked

Bakistan condemns Britainistan,threatens to cut off diplomatic relations and aid to Britainistan

Quote:
EJAZ’S ABOUT-FACE: Minister Ejazul Haq created a stir in the house when he made his controversial remarks about the justification of suicide attacks while condemning the British government’s weekend award of knighthood to Salman Rushdie, author of the book “The Satanic Verses”, widely seen in the Islamic world as blasphemous, and called for breaking diplomatic relations with London and a boycott of the British High Commission in Islamabad by parliament members until the award was withdrawn.

Earlier in the day, the house unanimously passed a resolution sponsored by PML and MMA members, protesting against the award, which it said could cause “religious hatred and rift between religious” and asking the British government to withdraw it.The minister made some remarks about suicide attacks, which he later retracted twice in the house after being aired by private television channels and attracting a protest by People’s Party Parliamentarians (PPP) chief whip Khurshid Ahmed Shah.

Mullah Mahdi-e-dra's neuj of the day

KARACHI: International Safari

http://www.dawn.com/2007/06/19/local15.htm

Quote:
KARACHI, June 18: Sindh Tourism and Culture Minister Rauf Siddiqui on Monday said more facilities were being made available at the Jinnah International Safari. The safari is expected to attract large number of researchers who are studying how wannabee central asian tribal Pakis are adjusting to city life.

He said the government as well as the business community was taking keen interest in development of the Safari, located at Shah Belo near Sukkur. He said people could reach the park by road and train as well as by air as Moenjo Daro was close to that place. Tourists will be air dropped as the minijter has phorgotten that moenjo-daro doejnt have an airbort—APP


New foolproof security plan chalked out to avert terrorism activities


Quote:
ISLAMABAD: The federal government has chalked out a new elaborate plan to avert terrorism activities and ensure law and order across the country.

The decision was taken in a high-level meeting in the wake of Quetta killing, said the spokesman of Interior Ministry Brigadier Javed Iqbal Cheema while addressing a briefing here on Tuesday.

Under the new plan 15000 security forces would be given the task to implement the plan, the spokesman said.

The additional funds would also be provided to the four provinces for the foolproof security plan.


Pakiproof would have been an appropriate term instead of fool proof

28 killed in mysterious alien attacks in North Waziristan
http://thenews.jang.com.pk/updates.asp?id=24597

Quote:
MIRAN SHAH: At least 28 people were killed and several injured in mysterious explosions in Dita Khail areas in North Waziristan, the reports said.

The incident occurred due to missile attack in the said area by the US allied forces, some sources said. However, Director General Inter Services Public Relation (ISPR) Maj. Arshad Waheed said it was not a missile attack but the incident occurred due to explosions caused by explosive material.

Those killed were miscreants and they were killed while preparing explosive devices due to explosions caused by the explosive material.

The heirs of those killed in the incident said that US allied forces fired shells on a seminary and a home next to the seminary, in which over 20 people were killed and 10 others injured.

The injured were taken to Miran Shah hospital where three of the injured were stated in a critical condition.

Sunday, June 17, 2007

New national sport contemplated

Skiing in Pakistan
Quote:
Some of you may not be aware, the skiing opportunities that Pakistan has to offer. Though skiing is in its initial stages in Pakistan, there are various skiing spots that you can travel to(Kargill and Siachen are reserved for the faujonlee). For a skiing enthusiast, Pakistan offers some fine skiing destinations with stunning scenic views.

Northern areas in Pakistan offer a number of skiing spots for Faujis. Some of the fine skiing destinations in Pakistan include Naltar in Gilgit, Burzil, Ratu and Astore. However of all the destinations Malam Jabba some 300 kilometres from Islamabad offers excellent skiing opportunities. In 1971 and 1965, skiing obbartunities were availabal as close as 20 miles to La-hore

Located on the border to Afghanistan, Malam Jabba is about 300 kilometres from Islamabad. It takes about six hours by road to reach Malam Jabba. You can also take Pakistan Airways flight from Islamabad to reach Saidu Sharif, which is about 45 kilometres away from Malam Jabba. After the loss of strategic depth by the Musharaff country, the Fauj has now got another frontier where it can perfect the act of downhill skiing under fire


Quote:
So if a streak with adventure is what you are looking forward on your holidays, Pakistan is a wonderful place to tour. Come and ski on the powdery slopes of skiing resorts in Pakistan. Just wear the fauji dress and try to attack the Hindustani Posts, we guarentee you the high speed downhill skiing thrill of your life

Tour to Pakistan brings you complete information on various tourist destinations in Pakistan. Tour to Pakistan promises to offer you all the help to make your tour to Pakistan an exciting and memorable affair. If adventure sport is what you like come and take our adventure sports tours. For tour packages or hotel bookings in Pakistan, all you have to do is just fill up the form given below. Tour to Pakistan will get back to you.

Friday, June 15, 2007

Degrees of sebaration in pinglish: Mullah Mahdi-e-dra

Diyar Editah

I pring you this ghar-ghar aur neighbour ki ghar ka story from our pure land

Three men confess to killing father, brother and cousin

Quote:
According to police, the spade of killing started in 1997 when Muhammad Abbas along with his three sons — Akram, Yousaf and Afzal — strangulated his fourth son Hamid Abbas. Hamid was a freshman at the local college and had stood first in the district in the matriculation examination. His father and brothers used to commit petty crimes and Hamid would often ask them mend their ways. Police said the accused and their father got annoyed with his repeated advices so much that they killed Hamid and buried him in the corridors of their house at Kot Usman Khan. The murder never came to the light and the accused continued with their activities.


Law no 72 for Pakiness: kill your son before your son(s) kills you,

Quote:
In 2003, accused Akram, Yousaf, and Afzal killed their cousin Zubair suspecting that he had spelled black magic on their family. A-Division police registered a case against them under section 353/97 of the Pakistan Penal Code
.

Law no 73 for Bakiness: Oh father and son(s) kill your cousin before he casts spell on you

Quote:
While living in Burewala, the three accused started pressuring their father to hand over his whole property to them. When he refused to do so, they slaughtered him six months ago and buried the body in their rented house and migrated to Deepalpur


Law no 74, Strike fear in your father's heart, if he doesnt relent, slaughter him , bury his body and migrate

Quote:
In Deepalpur, Akram, also a Hafiz-e-Quran, became a prayer leader at a mosque while Yousaf became a faith healer outside a shrine in the locality


Law no 75) follow rules 72,73,74 and you will be find gainful employment

Quote:
On a tip off, police arrested the three brothers in Deepalpur for the murder of their cousin
.

Law no 76) The smelly , fair, long arm of Baki law will catch up with you , for your cousin's murder

Quote:
Three brothers, confessed for the murder of their cousin


Law 77, Oh inbreeding bakis , whoever you kill, he will be your cousin

Thursday, June 14, 2007

The President is furious (which means he bought a new fur coat)

Musharraf cautions media against ‘abusing freedom’

Quote:
SLAMABAD, June 14: President Gen Pervez Musharraf on Thursday cautioned the media against ‘abusing freedom’ and said it should not do anything which could aggravate a crisis.

Addressing a joint gathering of the officers of Pakistan Air Force and Pakistan Navy at the Air Headquarters here, President Musharraf said media freedom was undoubtedly important but news organisations should fulfil their responsibility.

He said media should present a positive image of the country and highlight issues of national importance. It should avoid highlighting negative aspects and must not create a sense of despondency among the masses

I suppose this explains why the "lamp post" was rejected.

Quote:
Warning Lal Masjid clerics against mistaking government’s prudence as its weakness, he said if the present situation continued, use of force would be the only option left.

He said the mosque’s administration was trying to challenge the writ of the government by taking advantage of the presence of some 2,500 female students in Jamia Hafsah

Wednesday, June 13, 2007

A rose in any shade of brown ...

Shed hate, controversies, and tears (for the fatherland) and stop eyeing my uniform: HMEHPPGPM

Sulaiman bin Hidayath Al Beshawari (Resort return), NSN cultural Desk
Roje Garden, Prejident's House
June 13, NSN

Once again we sit waiting for HMEHPPGPM, while an aide adjusts that smart uniform that is the center of a lot of controversy these days. Since Kamran Khan is not available, HMEHPPGPM has naturally called upon NSN to present the facts, raise the level of awareness, and moderately enlighten, ah well, the public, of course. Well, here he is now.

SbHaB(RR): Morning, HMEHPPGPM.
HMEHPPGPM: Of course, of course, and the best morning to you too.

These people are extremists, terrorists, they believe in forcing their views on others. So, I’m standing in their way, frankly.

Ego, satisfaction and money, that is what motivates them. I am sure, several hundred percent.



HMEHPPGPM in the now famous uniform. His detractors would like it to be less brown

SbHaB(RR): 400?
HMEHPPGPM: Of course, Of course.

SbHaB(RR): Of course.
HMEHPPGPM: certainly.

SbHaB(RR): why insist on the uniform?
HMEHPPGPM: Well, I believe that power should not flow out of the uniform. A person should not leak by rank but by personal example and his intrinsic qualities. And the uniform exemplifies and protects those qualities, definitely.

SbHaB(RR): Why is the opposition insisting that you shed the uniform, Mr. President?
HMEHPPGPM: It disappoints me, yes. But at the same time, it annoys us also that most of those calling for me to shed my uniform have nothing on themselves. You know what they say. You must get yourself a new set of clothes, of course. And then cast the first stone, certainly.

They are leading from the rear, as you can see. Inciting the masses. But as you saw on the May 12, we will make an example out of them.

SbHaB(RR): We now hear the state department is asking you to shed the uniform altogether? They are claiming it threatens the Chief Justice.
HMEHPPGPM: Well, certainly. You know what they have said before? "Be prepared to be bombed, be prepared to go back to the Stone Age", very rude people.

One has to think and take action in the interest of the nation and that's what I did. You can't meet the Chief justice in your underwear, I always say.

SbHaB(RR): Do you think the United States is exceeding its briefs, Sir?
HMEHPPGPM: It is a threat, certainly. I take it that the United States also has certain elements. But they are weak, they were not very strong. That is absolutely the case.

The President, and the vice-president, they are very satisfied and they are quite comfortable with what I wear.

SbHaB(RR): So you think the uniform is necessary?
HMEHPPGPM: Well, yes, certainly. That is what really disappoints me as I said. I do get disappointed that they so inconsiderate, yes. That is disappointing. What am I going to with my medals, otherwise. A commando has to wear his medals, of course.

This is a battle between "moderates" and extremists, and I would do everything to ensure the victory of the moderates, naturally.

In this struggle for modesty, we will defeat the extremist forces, and the moderate forces must win. Islam is all about modesty, you see. And without the uniform, I am certainly not very modest, you see, of course.

SbHaB(RR): Sir, What do you say to the detractors?
HMEHPPGPM: Well, our defense is certainly impregnable. In fact, the uniform protects the rear very well. All our uniforms are padded, you see.
Its not easy, but they will be defeated. As I have said before ( see agency report ) these people are only looking for Canadian visas. And that is the easy way out.



And a very nice shade of brown, it is, certainly.

SbHaB(RR): So all the talk of lamp posts?
HMEHPPGPM: Yes. This is because of whatever has happened 26 years ago. So this place becomes a boiling pot. Yes, indeed people could be coming here. People could be training. And we will act against them. We are trying to do our best, certainly. It's a totally shifted environment.

At this point there was unmistakable browning in certain parts of the presidents uniform, and we respectfully withdrew.

------------------------------
NSN - Protecting modesty, from the rear.
[Adv]
Fauji Leadership Services: Creating leaders of tomorrow
Advance courses in leading from rear now forming
No prior training in rearing needed.

Whats a little sewage water, then?

How will a canadian visa will help, if you come back:
Quote:

Minister helps canadian returnee
ISLAMABAD, June 12: Minister of State for Communications Mohammad Shahid Jamil Qureshi, facing charges of illegally detaining Kafila Siddiqui, a Canadian national of Pakistani origin who died under mysterious circumstances last Saturday night, resigned from the cabinet on Tuesday.

However, his name has not been placed on the exit control list despite a request made by police.



All this attention to "shedding" has caused changed the word. Today's phrase is "to put aside", as in:
Quote:

Re-election by new assemblies, hopes US: Musharraf should ‘put aside the uniform’
WASHINGTON, June 12: The US State Department has said that it believes President Musharraf will seek re-election from the parliament formed after the forthcoming elections.

The department’s spokesman also hoped that if President Musharraf “continues in political life,” he will “put aside the uniform”.

Meanwhile, infrastructure is being made air vacuum proof:
Quote:

Newly laid railway track at risk from sewage water
JAMSHORO: The sewage water of different residential areas of Kotri may damage a four-kilometre railway track recently laid at the cost of Rs 100 million.

The Kotri Junction Railways has also sent a letter to the Ministry of Railways, expressing concern over the deteriorating condition of the track ....

What's a little sewage water between friends?

Our Herrow....

Images by Agencies. Individual citations awaited.

Our Herrow, he has been much influenced by gangsta rappers.




who knows how to salute smartly





while holding his pants up his other hand.




(BS: Of course, he has many fans).

Israel Herald gets the idea too..

From the Israel Herald: US to Musharraf: Shed uniform before poll

We all know it is necessary to shed uniform before getting the poll.

Quote:
The US says it will rear embattled Pakistan President Pervez Musharraf in its national interest, hoping that he would shed his uniform before the poll
Apologies for the crude language.

Tuesday, June 12, 2007

Mullah Mahdi-e-dra writes..


General Karmat in hot water
Quote:
WASHINGTON, June 11: There is an SOS message from the former army chief and Pakistan’s former ambassador to Washington, Gen (retd) Jehangir Karamat, saying that he is stranded in Nigeria and immediately needs $3,500 to return home.

The message is sent through his personal e-mail — jkaramat@hotmail.com — to everyone on his mail list, thanks to a group of electronic thieves operating from Nigeria.

Equipped with sophisticated software, the group breaks open e-mail addresses of both famous and not-so-famous people and sends messages to all those on that person’s mail list.

They send millions of mails everyday. Most people dismiss such mails as trash from con artists but some do get worried about their friend supposedly stranded in Nigeria and do send some money.

Another high-profile victim of the scam was Dr Ishrat Hussain, former governor of the State Bank of Pakistan, and the most recent victim known to Pakistanis in Washington is US-based journalist Nuzaira Azam.

The message sent out on her name was the same as the one sent on behalf of Gen Karamat. Most of her friends telephoned her home before sending the money and were told that she was very much in Washington and had never visited Nigeria.

Yet one journalist, Akmal Aleemi, responded to the mail. The mailers sent him an address in Nigeria and he sent $3,000 to that address. He soon learned that he was coned but the money was lost forever.

Gen Karamat’s well-wishers can only hope that his friends would check with the general before calling their banks.

Here’s the message the con artists sent on Gen Karamat’s behalf:

“How are you today? I went to Nigeria yesterday for a governmental programme. And I have gotten my self stranded here because my wallet is missing and my ATM card and other valuable things like my ID card is missing along with the wallet.

“I needed to pay for my hotel fee but do not have anything on me right now, please I want you to help and send about $3,500 to help me pay some bills here and get my flight ticket back.

“I will return the money back as soon as I get to back to Lahore, Pakistan, by Friday Morning.

“Please I need to hear from you soon so that I will send you my information you will be sending the money to me through Money Gram.

“Please be rest assured that I will pay back as soon as I arrive Lahore, Pakistan, by Friday morning. And please understand that your help is much needed right now because am very stranded now. Waiting to hear from you. With my best regard's. JK—JEHANGIR KARAMAT.”

As one of Gen Karamat’s friends in Washington pointed out, he is not just a general but also a scholar and does not make the mistakes the sender of this message made while writing it. Also, his friends do not need to be told that Lahore is in Pakistan



Bliss to send cheques(heera mandi tax included) US dollarj onlee to
Mullah Mahdi-e-dra, prop.
Karamat quicksand stranded phund,
Patli wali gaali,
Niyar Heeramandi ,
La-hore 420420


Bakistan world leader in exporting wimmen
http://www.dawn.com/2007/06/12/local1.htm
Quote:
Talib, Habib, Mohammad and Shafiq are among the influential Bakis who have become millionaires by trading women,” he said. “A couple of decades ago, they supported themselves selling fish and cloth ....

Mullah Mahdi-e-dra is grieved...

Diyar Edithar,

I yam very disgusted by this probe which has been dragging on needlessly phor so long
The kaffir media is having a ball slinging mud and goat excrement at the pak image of the Bakistani team : http://wekilledwoolmer.pk

Quote:
His death, coming as it did on the heels of Pakistan's disgraceful exit from the World Cup, plunged the nation into almost three months of chaos and crisis
Quote:
Pakistanis though believe they've got the longer end of the stick(bamboo), you know where
Quote:
It's wrong to say that he was murdered. The Pakistani team had nothing to do with it, unphortunately his back pack did not go off and the kaffir Ireland team survived, he should be called Shaheed Woolmar
Quote:
No wonder then, that the public over there are now expresing their anger, citizens are advised not to go near KFC or listen to Jamiacan music
Quote:
Woolmer's death precipitated arguably the biggest crisis in Pakistan since Pervez Musharaf's coup d'etat eight years ago
Quote:
An unnamed source said the culprit is ready to confess if granted presidential pardon and favours

The site may no longer be functional. So we are archiving its content.

Monday, June 11, 2007

Traditional Celebrations


4 Celebrations following one wedding

Quote:
MIANWALI: June 10: Unidentified people shot dead four people and injured five at a wedding ceremony on Saturday night in Manjha Ghundi, 55 kilometres from Mianwali.

Nearly 3,000 guests were present at the wedding ceremony of Captain Muhammad Faheem Khattak when electricity was suspended at 11pm. Taking advantage of darkness, unidentified people started indiscriminate firing with Kalashnikovs for 10 minutes.

Title contest

Mullah Mahdi-e-dra has started a titillating title contest with
Quote:
Diyar Edithar,

I am recently graduate phrom La-hore univarjity of Pinglish. I am writing a book on the great pattles fought by our even greater mujrahideen .I blan to start with a chabter on the Rani of Pindi phild Marshall Frau Parvej Musharaff and his battle with the short dark kaffir at Kargill. I will pe very opliged if pee aref membars will suggast title phor the pook. The winnar will be gifted 2 lotas bersonally used by Frau Musharaff (biss pee upon him), these lotas were ujed when the Kaffir pofors guns were firing at the prave downhill Mujrahideen (biss pee upon them )

Mr Mah E ndra
MA Pinglish,Phd Pinglish illetrachur.. ,Fazlur Rehman university
Phd Bakistani Army victories .. Gen Niazi university
Phd Tactical retreat .... Frau Gola university of Retreatology

And the recent intesting responses are:
Quote:
From Mullah Enqyoobuddin:
1. Green Meteor Down Black Diamond (about the swift retreat by Jarnail Musharraf down the steepest slopes from Kargil)
2. Brown Pants Down. (How Jarnail Musharraf's artillery battalion was caught with their pants in lowered position during Battle of Khemkaran - now revealed! The reason why the Indian tank advance was unopposed).
3. Bull's Eye, Goat Schidt: The story of the Pakistan Air Fauj targeting and putting 900 holes in a vessel in Karachi harbor in 1971 (A Pakistani warship...)
4. Boots Under Burkha: The stealthy advance of the Special Operations Group under Jarnail Musharraf, in Azad Kashmir, where they stole 1,200,000,222,000 goats.

Quote:
From Maulvi Sriv-e-maan:
1. Saving private kamandu (futuristic tale of Gola's flight from US embassy in Islamabad in a Chinook)
2. Daas Boot (saga of Baki slavery and boot-licking of massa)
3. In the line of Kayar (line of succession of Baki jarnails - Ayub, Yahiya, Zia, Gola...)
4. Lotay (story of Kargill and Baki parliament)
5. Mugal-e-Ajam (how PNS kurram and PNS Akpar sank each other when they spotted INS Anarkali)
6. Victory At Last (how Baki army defeated Islamabad radio station)


Quote:
From the great learned shi-e-vuddin
1) Foxholes, Manholes and hairy situations
2) Resolute as a ram, soft as a goat
3) Black goat down
4) Ram Silent Ram Deep

Sunday, June 10, 2007

Infrastructure improvement galore




RAHIM YAR KHAN, June 10: Sunday’s train accident here
is yet another evidence of railways’ projects to overhaul its signalling and communication system.





Unfortunate incidents of infighting (between brothers) occur
Quote:
KARACHI, June 10: The Liaquatabad Town administration has launched a campaign against stray dogs in its jurisdiction and killed 167 dogs.

Saturday, June 9, 2007

Jewels for make benefits of glorious nation







The wimmen's in our enlightened nation. Dont have credits, kind apologies.

Mullah Rasullullah on enlightened moderation in the rest of the world

Mullah Rasullulah came across these sterling examples of moderate enlightenment happening across the world due to Herr President's great policies. We present:




and of course,




two more people enlightened and we will have a mini renaissance.

Friday, June 8, 2007

Daily bositive neuj - express.

Bakistanis feted in Greece
Quote:
KOMOTINI (Greece), June 7: Police in northeastern Greece on Thursday arrested 42 illegal immigrants who had marched an estimated 140km inland to get a ride in a truck to Athens, said a police source in the city of Komotini.

The all-male group, aged 17 to 42, claiming to have come from ,Afghanistan, Pakistan and Iraq was found when the truck was stopped for a police inspection near Xanthi. Each of them were thought to have paid 1,000 euros to secure passage to Athens, said the police source.—AFP

And as usual some cultural neuj

Juries that hold innocent guilty

Quote:
LAYYAH, June 7: A 13-year-old girl has been humiliated and tortured by some influential people to exact revenge for the wrong of her uncle on the orders of a self-proclaimed panchayat in Chaubara police station precinct, about 35 kilometres from here.

Locals told Dawn that the influential group had kept Sughran Sadaf, 13, in illegal confinement. She was released when the police raided her tormentor’s house.

According to reports, a woman eloped with Sughran’s uncle Saifullah two weeks ago and the couple tied the knot, but did not return. The woman’s father, Maqsood, pressured Sughran’s family to ensure return of his daughter but, on getting unfavourable response, approached lumberdar Ghulam Murtaza who constituted an illegal jury to decide the case.

The jury, presided over by local influential Rana Abdul Qayyum and attended by many villagers, directed Sughran’s father Amanullah to produce his brother Saifullah before the panchayat. Amanullah sought two days to find out his brother, but the jury declined the request and demanded that he should hand over his daughter Sughran as tangible security.

On Amanullah’s refusal to heed the panchayat order, Arif Murtaza, Maher Khan and others started beating him and dragged him towards his home. Later, they humiliated Amanullah’s daughter and dragged her through the streets of Chak 408-TDA to confine her along with her father at Maqsood’s house.

Wednesday, June 6, 2007

Pipeline improvement, and educational strides

Air vacuum improves gas supply to purification plant in the land of the pure

Quote:
QUETTA, June 5: A gas pipeline in the Pirkoh gas filed in Dera Bugti district was blown up early on Tuesday morning, causing suspension of supply to the Pirkoh gas purification plant.

According to official sources, an explosive device placed under the main gas pipeline, blew up a three-foot portion of the pipeline.

The powerful explosion rocked the Pirkoh township and the gas field area. Immediately after the blast, the Oil and Gas Development Corporation blocked the supply of gas from the wells and engineers started repairing the damaged pipeline.

“We are trying to restore gas supply to the plant as soon as possible but it will take at least 36 to 48 hours,” OGDC officials said.

Law-enforcement agencies were investigating the incident. No one had claimed responsibility till late Tuesday evening.

In another incident, an oil tanker carrying fuel for the allied forces fighting in Afghanistan was blown up in Chaman.

“The tanker was going to Kandhar from Karachi,” police sources said.

They said that a bomb was planted under the tanker when it was parked near the Chaman grid station.

School improved

Quote:
PESHAWAR, June 5: A bomb was hurled into a private school in the Hayatabad locality on Tuesday. No loss of life or property was reported.

The explosion created panic in the area and a large number of people gathered at the school after the blast

Tuesday, June 5, 2007

Marriage counselling

Pakistan Sets Up Special Counseling Cells For Troubled Marriages- According to the PEE PEE CEE

Quote:
Pakistanis shaidized for adultery

A woman and three men were shot dead in a public execution in a Pakistani village after tribal elders found them guilty of adultery, officials said.

The death sentences were ordered by a jirga (council) of elders in the Khyber agency area on the Afghan border.

Sex outside marriage is a crime in Pakistan and tribal village councils often punish those involved with death.

Last year, Pakistan's parliament approved a new bill amending Islamic laws on rape and adultery.

The new law dropped the death penalty for people having sex outside marriage.

'Confessed'

"We found a man and a woman in a compromising position along with another man who was drunk and had already committed adultery, and the owner of the house," Haji Jan Gul, a village resident, told the news agency Reuters.

"All four confessed to adultery. We punished them according to our customs and traditions," he said.

Reports said the executions were watched by some 600 people.

Lacks citation, apologies.

Sunday, June 3, 2007

NSN warned by Cable operators

NSN warned by Cable operators
Quote:
KARACHI, June 2: Office-bearers of the Cable Operators Association of Pakistan (CAP) on Saturday warned that they would take any satellite TV channel off the air if its programmes went against the ‘armed forces, judiciary and the integrity of Pakistan’.

“We have decided that we’ll not become part of any campaign which goes against the armed forces, judiciary and integrity of Pakistan and will virtually boycott the channels, which indulge in such acts,” Mr Khalid Shaikh, chairman of CAP, said at a press conference at the Karachi Press Club.

Bliss to admire smiling Abdul, TFTA purity in all its glory

PESHAWAR, June 2: A local court released two Arab nationals from the Peshawar central prison on Saturday. Abdul Kareem of Jordan and Syed Abdullah Hashmi of Saudi Arabia were arrested four years ago on suspicion of having links with Al Qaeda and Osama bin Laden.

The court handed over the two to World Prisoners Relief Commission (WPRC) chairman Jawed Ibraheem Paracha with the directive that the commission would take care of the two men till their deportation to their countries.

A day earlier, the NWFP home department had issued a no-objection certificate, allowing the handing over of the two foreigners to the commission.

Addressing a press conference at the Peshawar Press Club after their release, the Arab nationals said that they were close associates of the late Sheikh Abdullah Azaem, a known Arab militant who fought against the USSR.

Abdul Kareem said that they had participated in jihad against the USSR, adding that they would do it again if a need arose.

Meanwhile

Sindh facing shortage of workers ,strugging to cope with 400% growth

And, customary land of the pure justice story of the day

Quote:
They had a quarrel with each other over some domestic issue and Rafiq attacked Rehana with a club. She was rushed to hospital by her neighbours where she succumbed to her injuries

and of course this: Woolmer died of old age: Bakistan Bolis

Quote:
Shields, a self-styled camera-loving Sherlock Homes-type figure and the second-in-command of the Jamaican police, in a press conference, had announced soon after Woolmer’s body was found and autopsy was performed that the 58-year-old coach had died of asphyxiation after being strangled without having a second opinion.

He also had said that he was ‘100 per cent certain that Woolmer had been murdered’

Sheilds is wrong because he is not 400% certain like the Bakistani players who naturally strangled Woolmer
.
A day of commemorating the obvious by repeating it endlessly. Today, we start with the dear departing soul in Londonistan. Who says:
Quote:
Taliban infiltrate from Pak: UK
LONDON - British Prime Minister Tony Blair has said that many of Taliban fighters are infiltrating Afghanistan from the bases in Pakistan.
Eh, what? You must be mistaken, my dear sir. Don't you know, what?

Took him long enough, no? And so what is so great if its true? If they took proper care of them while they are across, they wouldn't be crossing the border again to begin with. And what about those root causes? 90,000, anyone? Porous, mountainous something, I recall too.

Quote:
Alleged rapists of Japanese girls getting easy way out
LAHORE - The police prefers to dump a case or brush the matter under the carpet through divergent dubious means when the influential families put pressure on the ‘efficient’ law and order force.
Making a molehill out of an ant farm, to say the least. Did the women have a chaperon? Are they of the faith? Are of four of the five people witnesses? How can the police do anything then? Why throw this scientific mumbo jumbo about evidence and what not? Did it curdle or go sour if it took a couple days more?
Quote:
Tourism project has expected returns
ISLAMABAD: Federal Minister for Tourism Nilofar Bakhtiar is reportedly neglecting her office work despite the prime minister’s rejection of her resignation. This is putting into jeopardy activities related to the “Visit Pakistan Year” project.

Now we all like Nilo-far didi. She did a far out thing by hugging a bald old person. Very kind and considerate people. Must we blame eveything on her?

Saturday, June 2, 2007

NGOs are widely appreciated - Pakistan shows it love
Quote:
By our correspondent
LANDI KOTAL: A bomb exploded at the Resource Centre of Save The Children (US) inside the Agency Headquarters Hospital on here Friday, causing injuries to one person.
Could happen anywhere, a match here, an air vacuum there. Why the fuss? People injure them all the time, quite often when they are saving someone too.

Friday, June 1, 2007

The wonders of djinn science

Mullah Nayakuddin has already posted the track improvement. But since the president has promised full scale infrastructure improvement, obviously bridges also have to be improved. So,

Quote:

New Railway bridges near Quetta

QUETTA, May 31: Train service between Quetta and other parts of the country had to be suspended for about nine hours on Thursday while a railway bridge was replaced near Spezand, about 20km from here.

According to a senior railway official, an explosive device placed under the small railway bridge on the main tack was exploded in the early hours on Thursday. The track, however, remained intact. This was the third replacement of its kind in four days.



And unexpected business is causing further improvement in the stock of the 72 of the phairest, Inc as:

Quote:


Political agent’s household starts journey to jannat

TANK, May 31: Suspected militants attacked the house of a senior government official in the Jatai Qala area of the troubled Tank district after midnight on Wednesday and shot dead 13 people, two of them women. Two children were injured, police said.

The head of the Gomal police station, Sanaullah Marwat, said the militants, who had come in three or four vehicles, attacked the house of Amiruddin Khan, Khyber tribal region’s political agent, with rocket-propelled grenades, hand grenades and assault rifles.



and since the imaam-e-kaaba says:

Quote:

Imam-i-Kaaba says no room for terrorism in Islam

ISLAMABAD, May 31: Imam of Kaaba Sheikh Abdul Rahman Al Sudais said on Thursday that Islam did not allow acts of terrorism, and stressed the need for Muslims to resolve their differences through mutual understanding and in fraternal spirit.


this fraternal spirit is expressed as:

Quote:

Clerics condemn Kashmir mosques repair by army

NEW DELHI, May 31: Jammu and Kashmir's leading Muslim clerics met in Srinagar on Thursday to condemn the Indian army's ongoing campaign for repairing damaged mosques and shrines in the disputed state.

An emergency meeting of the Muttahida Majlis-i-Ulema was chaired by Hurriyat leader Mirwaiz Umar Farooq, who appealed to President A.P.J. Abdul Kalam, as the commander in chief of the Indian armed forces, and Prime Minister Manmohan Singh to stop the army's Operation Sadbhav (Goodwill) immediately.


Meanwhile, the Raj-Shehzina case took a turn for the better with the perpetrators being booked:

Quote:


Doctors booked in same-sex marriage case
FAISALABAD, May 31: Jhang Bazaar police on Wednesday night registered a case against doctors without naming anyone who had operated upon Shumail Raj in same-sex marriage episode.

Police sources said Jhang Bazaar SHO Mian Khalid registered the case on the orders of the Lahore High Court, but he did not mention the name of any doctor as a result DIG (operations) Mohammad Aslam Tareen had suspended him from service.


Women's rights are as always respected as a time honored tradition:

Quote:

Pak woman forced into marriage twice – with two brothers

LONDON: A Pakistani woman was forced into marriage twice to two brothers in Pakistan.

Esha Ali (not her real name) was tricked into travelling to Pakistan twice and each time faced family pressure and intimidation to marry one brother and then another.

She is now in hiding in Manchester, desperate to avoid setting up home with the second brother, who is due to travel to the UK


Londonistan is of course playing the major role expected of the great country.

And for all of you not believing in djinn powers, note the following:

Quote:


Family overjoyed as girl changes into boy
DASKA - A retired army man’s young daughter became a boy at a private hospital in Uggoki town near here Wednesday night. Reportedly, retired army man Haji Muhammad Aslam’s young daughter Tabbasum Tahira (17) felt continuous pains in her abdomen.


All it takes, is a little bit of prayer, and a good djinn expert.