Pakistan Institute of Mammography Opened

Islamabad (NSN): Pakistan had achieved another milestone today by opening the prestigious Pakistan Institute of Mammography at the capital. Prime Minister Gilani did the honours of cutting the band. Prime Minister Gilani then proceeded to conduct the first mammography of the Federal Minister for Information and Broadcasting Ms Sherry Rehman.

"Prime Minister Gilani did the mammography procedure as good as the best in the trade" a visibly satisfied Sherry commented to the media persons after the procedure. She confirmed that the procedure is pain free, and did not offer any discomfort at all. "I had been subjected to this procedure at various times and places previously", claimed Ms Rehman, "but this is one of the best I had"

The prime minister laughed at Ms Rehman's response, and speculated that she might have been easy on him because he happen to be her boss. We know each other for quite a long time, so that also makes things easier.

Later, the prime minister announced that as a special gift to the women of this great nation, the Institute will offer free mammographies whenever it can get a political leader to conduct the procedure. "The radiologists must be paid, while the politicians come free", explained Abdul Mulapichi, the newly appointed director of the Institute.

The average abdul on the street, however wasn't too enthusiastic. "I am not going to take my wives there" said one, requesting anonimity. After a brief thought, he added "do they hire people". Another wanted to know if they give the procedure to Goats. No one had the answer, but how could a government in Pakistan ignore those lovely animals?

Mariyah Moten, the famous model and former Miss Pakistan said that she wouldn't need any services, but will be glad to undergo one if President Pervez Musharraff would undertake the procedure. Shirleen Mazari, stragegic analyst and former director of the Institute of Strategic Studies refused to comment on this event because it is evidently a ploy by the CIA to rob the Pakistani H&D, obviously being assisted by the hindu RAW, jewish Mossad and a thousand other spy organizations. Group Captai S. M. Hali said that the women in the elite Pakistani Air Force will never need mammographies, because their superior equipment and flawless training would make the need redundant. "Maybe the women in IAF needs it. Do they even HAVE women in IAF?" wondered Hali.

Worldwide reactions are pouring in through various outlets. There is serious heartburn going in the unabashedly Pakistan bashing web forums on the internet. "Do they offer Canadian veejaaj along with mammographies?" asked a postor named 'Dilbulla'. Another named 'Nayakuddin' wanted to know what is the maximum size that can be accommodated by the machine. This issue is clarified by another postor named 'Haroun' by measuring the published photographs of the equipment. This information is seriously disputed at another blog, claiming the technique highly speculative. The resulting brawl led to heated exchanges and ultimate shutdown of several threads. A poll was conducted to ascertain the value of mammographies in the Pakistani society. As usual to the unabashedly Pakistan bashing forum, it was rigged in favour of mammographies, so that option got 87% of the votes. No got 4% votes and undecided got 3% votes. There was another brawl on what happened to the missing 4% votes, and that resulted in shutdown of more threads and banning of more postors.

This is Lahalla Al Gulth reporting for NSN. We are everywhere.