Kontinuing on the Prose by Jarnail Mahdi
pesh in khidmat oph the Jirga
Kehne ko Jashn-e-bahar hai
Pacquis yeh dekhke hairaan hai
Kehne ko Jashn-e-bahar hai
Pacquis yeh dekhke hairaan hai
Garibkhana se Bijjili khafa khafa hai gulshan mein
Chupa hai koi ranj bulb ki chilman mein
Sare kalee nazare hain
Soye soye vaqt ke sath mijjile dhare hain
Aur dil mein koi khoye si baatein hain
Kehne ko Jashn-e-bahar hai
Pacquis yeh dekhke hairaan hai.
Ooooo hooooo…
Salam
Showing posts with label pakistan. Show all posts
Showing posts with label pakistan. Show all posts
Thursday, April 22, 2010
Thursday, July 10, 2008
Pakistan Institute of Mammography Opened
Islamabad (NSN): Pakistan had achieved another milestone today by opening the prestigious Pakistan Institute of Mammography at the capital. Prime Minister Gilani did the honours of cutting the band. Prime Minister Gilani then proceeded to conduct the first mammography of the Federal Minister for Information and Broadcasting Ms Sherry Rehman.
"Prime Minister Gilani did the mammography procedure as good as the best in the trade" a visibly satisfied Sherry commented to the media persons after the procedure. She confirmed that the procedure is pain free, and did not offer any discomfort at all. "I had been subjected to this procedure at various times and places previously", claimed Ms Rehman, "but this is one of the best I had"
The prime minister laughed at Ms Rehman's response, and speculated that she might have been easy on him because he happen to be her boss. We know each other for quite a long time, so that also makes things easier.
Later, the prime minister announced that as a special gift to the women of this great nation, the Institute will offer free mammographies whenever it can get a political leader to conduct the procedure. "The radiologists must be paid, while the politicians come free", explained Abdul Mulapichi, the newly appointed director of the Institute.
The average abdul on the street, however wasn't too enthusiastic. "I am not going to take my wives there" said one, requesting anonimity. After a brief thought, he added "do they hire people". Another wanted to know if they give the procedure to Goats. No one had the answer, but how could a government in Pakistan ignore those lovely animals?
Mariyah Moten, the famous model and former Miss Pakistan said that she wouldn't need any services, but will be glad to undergo one if President Pervez Musharraff would undertake the procedure. Shirleen Mazari, stragegic analyst and former director of the Institute of Strategic Studies refused to comment on this event because it is evidently a ploy by the CIA to rob the Pakistani H&D, obviously being assisted by the hindu RAW, jewish Mossad and a thousand other spy organizations. Group Captai S. M. Hali said that the women in the elite Pakistani Air Force will never need mammographies, because their superior equipment and flawless training would make the need redundant. "Maybe the women in IAF needs it. Do they even HAVE women in IAF?" wondered Hali.
Worldwide reactions are pouring in through various outlets. There is serious heartburn going in the unabashedly Pakistan bashing web forums on the internet. "Do they offer Canadian veejaaj along with mammographies?" asked a postor named 'Dilbulla'. Another named 'Nayakuddin' wanted to know what is the maximum size that can be accommodated by the machine. This issue is clarified by another postor named 'Haroun' by measuring the published photographs of the equipment. This information is seriously disputed at another blog, claiming the technique highly speculative. The resulting brawl led to heated exchanges and ultimate shutdown of several threads. A poll was conducted to ascertain the value of mammographies in the Pakistani society. As usual to the unabashedly Pakistan bashing forum, it was rigged in favour of mammographies, so that option got 87% of the votes. No got 4% votes and undecided got 3% votes. There was another brawl on what happened to the missing 4% votes, and that resulted in shutdown of more threads and banning of more postors.
This is Lahalla Al Gulth reporting for NSN. We are everywhere.
"Prime Minister Gilani did the mammography procedure as good as the best in the trade" a visibly satisfied Sherry commented to the media persons after the procedure. She confirmed that the procedure is pain free, and did not offer any discomfort at all. "I had been subjected to this procedure at various times and places previously", claimed Ms Rehman, "but this is one of the best I had"
The prime minister laughed at Ms Rehman's response, and speculated that she might have been easy on him because he happen to be her boss. We know each other for quite a long time, so that also makes things easier.
Later, the prime minister announced that as a special gift to the women of this great nation, the Institute will offer free mammographies whenever it can get a political leader to conduct the procedure. "The radiologists must be paid, while the politicians come free", explained Abdul Mulapichi, the newly appointed director of the Institute.
The average abdul on the street, however wasn't too enthusiastic. "I am not going to take my wives there" said one, requesting anonimity. After a brief thought, he added "do they hire people". Another wanted to know if they give the procedure to Goats. No one had the answer, but how could a government in Pakistan ignore those lovely animals?
Mariyah Moten, the famous model and former Miss Pakistan said that she wouldn't need any services, but will be glad to undergo one if President Pervez Musharraff would undertake the procedure. Shirleen Mazari, stragegic analyst and former director of the Institute of Strategic Studies refused to comment on this event because it is evidently a ploy by the CIA to rob the Pakistani H&D, obviously being assisted by the hindu RAW, jewish Mossad and a thousand other spy organizations. Group Captai S. M. Hali said that the women in the elite Pakistani Air Force will never need mammographies, because their superior equipment and flawless training would make the need redundant. "Maybe the women in IAF needs it. Do they even HAVE women in IAF?" wondered Hali.
Worldwide reactions are pouring in through various outlets. There is serious heartburn going in the unabashedly Pakistan bashing web forums on the internet. "Do they offer Canadian veejaaj along with mammographies?" asked a postor named 'Dilbulla'. Another named 'Nayakuddin' wanted to know what is the maximum size that can be accommodated by the machine. This issue is clarified by another postor named 'Haroun' by measuring the published photographs of the equipment. This information is seriously disputed at another blog, claiming the technique highly speculative. The resulting brawl led to heated exchanges and ultimate shutdown of several threads. A poll was conducted to ascertain the value of mammographies in the Pakistani society. As usual to the unabashedly Pakistan bashing forum, it was rigged in favour of mammographies, so that option got 87% of the votes. No got 4% votes and undecided got 3% votes. There was another brawl on what happened to the missing 4% votes, and that resulted in shutdown of more threads and banning of more postors.
This is Lahalla Al Gulth reporting for NSN. We are everywhere.
Tuesday, July 8, 2008
Pipeline improvement in Pakistan
Pakistan is a trendsetter in constant improvement of passing gas through pipelines -
From DailyTimes.com.pk
From DailyTimes.com.pk
Gas pipeline blown up in Thal
JACOBABAD: Unidentified men on Tuesday blew up a gas pipeline in Nasser Shak, Thal. Soon after the blast, the police besieged the area while the bomb disposal squad repaired the damaged gas pipeline. Supervisory Police Officer (SPO) Asghar Ali Shah said that the pipeline blown up by terrorists was not in use and had been closed for some time. Various blasts were heard in the border areas of Sindh and Balochistan. Separately, a rocket was fired in Dera Bugti, injuring Member National Assembly Hamdan Bugti’s bodyguard. onlineMonday, July 7, 2008
Allah loves Pakistani muslims
http://www.nytimes.com/2008/07/07/world/asia/07pstan.html
ISLAMABAD, Pakistan — At least 11 people died Sunday when a suicide bomber set off an explosion next to a group of police officers guarding an area near the Red Mosque, where a restive crowd had gathered to commemorate a deadly clash between Islamic militants and government security forces in July 2007, the authorities said.
ISLAMABAD, Pakistan — At least 11 people died Sunday when a suicide bomber set off an explosion next to a group of police officers guarding an area near the Red Mosque, where a restive crowd had gathered to commemorate a deadly clash between Islamic militants and government security forces in July 2007, the authorities said.
More than 22 people were wounded, doctors at a nearby hospital said. Most of the dead and wounded appeared to be police officers.
About 30 officers had been standing on a sidewalk near a police station, just a few hundred yards from the Red Mosque in the center of Islamabad, when the explosion occurred. Thousands of people were at the mosque to commemorate an eight-day siege there a year ago that ended when commandos stormed the sprawling complex before dawn on July 10. Security forces and Islamic militants armed with automatic weapons, rocket launchers and grenades battled for an entire day in that confrontation, which left more than 100 people dead.
Within minutes of the suicide bombing on Sunday, which occurred about 7:30 p.m., medics were rushing dozens of wounded people to nearby hospitals and thousands of worshipers were fleeing the area near the mosque.
People running from the scene dodged police barricades, which had been set up as part of the tight security for the commemoration. Some were crying and some were wounded, and they left shoes and trails of blood on the sidewalks. Medics picked up body parts from the pavement.
Zafar Yab Ahmad, who lives nearby, said it appeared that the bomber had intentionally detonated the explosives near the group of police officers, who were part of a large security detail.
“I was standing with my niece,” Mr. Ahmad said. “We were saying, ‘Why are there so many police officers standing down there?’ And I went inside and just as I entered, the bomb went off. I came back out and saw 7 to 10 bodies lying on the ground. Some were in uniform and some were in pieces.”
Security for the event at the Red Mosque had been elaborate. Steel and concrete barricades blocked streets, coils of barbed wire were strung across roads and sidewalks, and for days police officers carrying semiautomatic weapons had formed a rough circle around the area.
The government and many diplomats had clearly been concerned as people flooded into Islamabad for the occasion, with many fearing a possible terrorist attack to mark the anniversary of the siege. There had even been speculation that two hotels that primarily serve foreign guests might be potential targets.
While it was not certain that the suicide bombing had been directly connected to the commemoration of the siege and battle, many people said they thought it was likely.
“Surely, it looks like this is connected with the anniversary of the Red Mosque,” Talat Masood, a retired Pakistan Army general, said in an interview. “They wanted to send a clear message that they haven’t forgotten this event and are going to keep on hitting.
“The government will have to take very seriously this war on terror and give it the urgency it deserves,” Mr. Masood said. “Even if it is because of foreign elements, the fact is that the country has become so weak that the foreign elements are able to enter and take advantage.”
Inside the Pakistan Institute of Medical Sciences Hospital, less than a block from the explosion, family members screamed and sobbed.
Some tried to perform CPR on victims who were so badly wounded that they appeared to be dead. In some cases, family members tried to revive their relatives even as medics were trying to cover them with blankets.
The number of reported fatalities increased during the night. A doctor at the Pakistan Institute hospital said that 11 or 12 people had died. Dawn, a local newspaper, reported that 19 people had died.
A senior official in the Interior Ministry, Rehman Malik, said initially that eight people had died and 22 had been wounded. Mr. Malik, who spoke with reporters at the scene of the explosion, also said that all of those who had died were police officers. However, at least one person who had died was not in uniform.
Muhammad Shezad was among the wounded. He was awaiting surgery at the hospital to remove a piece of shrapnel that had lodged in his armpit. He said he had just stepped into a nearby parking lot on his way to pick up his wife, a doctor at the hospital, when the bomb exploded.
“There were so many people who were lying there and dying, it was such a painful situation,” Mr. Shezad said.
Saturday, March 3, 2007
Pakistan Nearly As Good as Rwanda!
Pakistan Nearly As Good as Rwanda! Rwanda claims foul!!!
Dharam Shourie in New York | March 03, 2007 14:17 IST
Despite efforts to empower women, short, dark, rice-eating
India ranks very low at 108th position among 189 countries so far as the percentage of women lawmakers in its lower house of Parliament is concerned.
Interestingly, Pakistan is much higher (AoA!) at 48th position. China occupies 49th position and Bangladesh, which has 45 of 345 parliamentary seats reserved for women, is at the 72nd spot.
The top five spots are occupied by Rwanda, Sweden, Costa Rica, Finland and Norway. Rwanda's lower house has 48.8 per cent women and Sweden 47.3 per cent. At the bottom of table are Qatar, Saudi Arabia, St Kitts and Nevis, Solomon Islands and Tuvalu, which have no women lawmaker.
The United States holds the 67th position and Britain shares the 52nd spot with Dominican Republic.
Worldwide, the statistics show almost 17 per cent of parliamentarians are now women -- an all time high. In 1995, only 11.3 per cent of all parliamentary seats were held by women.[/quote]
NNN notes:
1. These kaffirs did not count the percentage of women in the Armed Forces. There Pakistan ranks #1 with 98%.
2. The Pakistani Upper House recently suffered a reverse because a woman senator was shot dead for being a woman.
Dharam Shourie in New York | March 03, 2007 14:17 IST
Despite efforts to empower women, short, dark, rice-eating
India ranks very low at 108th position among 189 countries so far as the percentage of women lawmakers in its lower house of Parliament is concerned.Interestingly, Pakistan is much higher (AoA!) at 48th position. China occupies 49th position and Bangladesh, which has 45 of 345 parliamentary seats reserved for women, is at the 72nd spot.
The top five spots are occupied by Rwanda, Sweden, Costa Rica, Finland and Norway. Rwanda's lower house has 48.8 per cent women and Sweden 47.3 per cent. At the bottom of table are Qatar, Saudi Arabia, St Kitts and Nevis, Solomon Islands and Tuvalu, which have no women lawmaker.
The United States holds the 67th position and Britain shares the 52nd spot with Dominican Republic.
Worldwide, the statistics show almost 17 per cent of parliamentarians are now women -- an all time high. In 1995, only 11.3 per cent of all parliamentary seats were held by women.[/quote]
NNN notes:
1. These kaffirs did not count the percentage of women in the Armed Forces. There Pakistan ranks #1 with 98%.
2. The Pakistani Upper House recently suffered a reverse because a woman senator was shot dead for being a woman.
Monday, February 26, 2007
Culture Thrives in Pakistan
Culture Thrives in Pakistan (Name Withheld, Agencies)
With the visit Pakistan year initiative promoted by the Ministries of Tourism and Culture, impressive strides have been made to promote ancient culture (see authoritative publications), and the fair, moderate , and enlightened leanings of pakistanis (also see early agency reports on festivals, women's empowerment, and entertainment). Officials see these endeavors as essential to improving Pakistan's image abroad. The Minister of Tourism, Ms Nilofer Bakhtiar, has been dispatched to friendly countries to publicise the visit pakistan initiative. To create infrastructure for visiting tourists, Pakistan Internation Airlines has also decided to upgrade its fleet (see earlier agency story), and even the courts are getting involved in promoting the positive image (agency report).
To be even friendlier to the diverse culture of the tourists set to throng pakistan, the government has relaxed several regulations and even turned a blind eye towards the routine flouting of number of dances in urdu plays. While three dances were considered sufficient for the sexual satisfaction of the pakistanies, it seems foreign tourists want to see no less than five or six dances in each play (agency report). There has been some controversy about the flouting of the laws (agency report) although officials are confident that it will come to pass. A tourism official said, "we are a democratic country, and everyone is entitled to their views". Political parties routines express diverse views ( agency report ) peacefully in deeply religious pakistan.
However, in what is sure to infuriate President Musharaff's government, fake icons like Meera (agency report) have been quoted and shown in positions sure to excite the educated and liberal public. "No one has the right to excite the public sexually", said an official who refused to be named for this report.
Pakistan is a moderate ally of the United States. It fifth largest receiver of foreign aid due to its support of promotion of world peace, and the risks taken by it moderate and enlightened president, General Musharraf, who has stood tall and firm in the face of several suicide attacks. Lately, it has been fighting hindu extremists on its eastern border (see report) that have resulted in several deaths.
Commentators fear that sexual excitement due to easy availability of livestock, low entrance fees of the plays, and influence of low morality culture from its eastern border may be the final straw that breaks the camels back. The government however, maintains that there is no reason to be overly concerned.
-----------------------------
This is (not yet) NSN.
With the visit Pakistan year initiative promoted by the Ministries of Tourism and Culture, impressive strides have been made to promote ancient culture (see authoritative publications), and the fair, moderate , and enlightened leanings of pakistanis (also see early agency reports on festivals, women's empowerment, and entertainment). Officials see these endeavors as essential to improving Pakistan's image abroad. The Minister of Tourism, Ms Nilofer Bakhtiar, has been dispatched to friendly countries to publicise the visit pakistan initiative. To create infrastructure for visiting tourists, Pakistan Internation Airlines has also decided to upgrade its fleet (see earlier agency story), and even the courts are getting involved in promoting the positive image (agency report).
To be even friendlier to the diverse culture of the tourists set to throng pakistan, the government has relaxed several regulations and even turned a blind eye towards the routine flouting of number of dances in urdu plays. While three dances were considered sufficient for the sexual satisfaction of the pakistanies, it seems foreign tourists want to see no less than five or six dances in each play (agency report). There has been some controversy about the flouting of the laws (agency report) although officials are confident that it will come to pass. A tourism official said, "we are a democratic country, and everyone is entitled to their views". Political parties routines express diverse views ( agency report ) peacefully in deeply religious pakistan.
However, in what is sure to infuriate President Musharaff's government, fake icons like Meera (agency report) have been quoted and shown in positions sure to excite the educated and liberal public. "No one has the right to excite the public sexually", said an official who refused to be named for this report.
Pakistan is a moderate ally of the United States. It fifth largest receiver of foreign aid due to its support of promotion of world peace, and the risks taken by it moderate and enlightened president, General Musharraf, who has stood tall and firm in the face of several suicide attacks. Lately, it has been fighting hindu extremists on its eastern border (see report) that have resulted in several deaths.
Commentators fear that sexual excitement due to easy availability of livestock, low entrance fees of the plays, and influence of low morality culture from its eastern border may be the final straw that breaks the camels back. The government however, maintains that there is no reason to be overly concerned.
-----------------------------
This is (not yet) NSN.
Thursday, February 8, 2007
BakPoets 2007
PakPoets 2007
NSN (Watan-e-boo Ku' daa) After doing the rounds of the Presidential Grounds, it is always refreshing to breathe the fresh air of the rustic heart of Pakistan. The PakPoets was organized in MBK to start off the new crusader year, and as usual, there was no dearth of dissatisfaction over anything remotely connected to authority. An assortment of the poems presented follows (some meaning may have been lost in translation).
When I say I am Pakistani
They say I should become a better Muslim first
When I say I am a Muslim
They say I should become a better Pakistani first
Who should I [NSN regrets] first?
Pakistan or Islam?
(Name withheld)
Basavar Qila
-------------------------------------------------
They say people get the leaders they deserve
But what have we done to deserve this [NSN regrets]
Name supplied:"What will you do? Kill women and children?"
Ran di Yaar Khan
--------------------------------------------------
Dear "Musharraf Aziz",
There should not be so many tears of patriotism in your eyes
That you cannot see straight
Moeen Khattak
Karachi
---------------------------------------------------
Army of eunuchs,
How much greener are you going to paint your useless missiles?
The sky will still be blue
Do not worry,
we will get you.
Name supplied: "I love Bharat-Rakshak" Baloch
Location withheld
-----------------------------------------------------
Shaukat, why don't you rescue your dirty crusader flag
from the floor of out mosques?
Wash it, and put it back
Muslim feet need to be wiped on clean cloth.
Mohammed Noor-ul-Islam
Rawalpindi
-------------------------------------------------------
Pakistan is burning
And no one cares
People have already enjoyed
Washed, paid, and gone home.
Name withheld
Lahore
This is NSN
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Bolder than you think. Stronger than you think. NSN.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
NSN (Watan-e-boo Ku' daa) After doing the rounds of the Presidential Grounds, it is always refreshing to breathe the fresh air of the rustic heart of Pakistan. The PakPoets was organized in MBK to start off the new crusader year, and as usual, there was no dearth of dissatisfaction over anything remotely connected to authority. An assortment of the poems presented follows (some meaning may have been lost in translation).
When I say I am Pakistani
They say I should become a better Muslim first
When I say I am a Muslim
They say I should become a better Pakistani first
Who should I [NSN regrets] first?
Pakistan or Islam?
(Name withheld)
Basavar Qila
-------------------------------------------------
They say people get the leaders they deserve
But what have we done to deserve this [NSN regrets]
Name supplied:"What will you do? Kill women and children?"
Ran di Yaar Khan
--------------------------------------------------
Dear "Musharraf Aziz",
There should not be so many tears of patriotism in your eyes
That you cannot see straight
Moeen Khattak
Karachi
---------------------------------------------------
Army of eunuchs,
How much greener are you going to paint your useless missiles?
The sky will still be blue
Do not worry,
we will get you.
Name supplied: "I love Bharat-Rakshak" Baloch
Location withheld
-----------------------------------------------------
Shaukat, why don't you rescue your dirty crusader flag
from the floor of out mosques?
Wash it, and put it back
Muslim feet need to be wiped on clean cloth.
Mohammed Noor-ul-Islam
Rawalpindi
-------------------------------------------------------
Pakistan is burning
And no one cares
People have already enjoyed
Washed, paid, and gone home.
Name withheld
Lahore
This is NSN
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Bolder than you think. Stronger than you think. NSN.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Monday, February 5, 2007
NSN BRQuiqFacts
NSN BRFacts: We have had occassion avail the khidmat of Minoo Bhandara (Ayran Avesta Haafiz). Murree Beer is reminds one of Tsing-Dao, the People's Beer of the Middle Kingdom, but the bubbles of Murree Beer go "Pak-Pak" as they pop. This unique quality of the Beer is pointed out to every customer. We had remarked to Minoo Bhandara, "Pak-Pak is quite an interesting sound." The reply, with a wink and a wry smile, was something we will never forget: "All bubbles pop."
Friday, January 19, 2007
Our reborters find HMEHPPGPM
Pakistan will always hold its own
NSN (Islamabad): We were exceedingly delighted to be invited once again to the diligently manicured lawns of the Presidental Grounds. This time we had asked the President General for his views on his order to Mullahs not to criticize him, although Pakistan is founded on Islam, and Islam, on Mullahs.
NSN: Greetings, Sir!
HMEHPPGPM: Yes, sister-in-law's cousin's bithday, I remember. Already posted it. How do you know all these things, hain? Do you have a prescription for the Greenberry?
NSN: No, Sir, I just meant, "hello".
HMEHPPGPM: Then you should, as I have said, say what you mean and mean what you say. In fact, in rural Pakistan, the fierce but hospitable Tabak-Jurrw'aql tribe says, "Do not send greetings if you do not intend to greet, do not arrange meetings if you don't intend to meet, because for every cup of tea, there has to be a biscuit".
NSN: Subhan Allah, Sir.
HMEHPPGPM: Yes, I will convey your reciprocations to the Tabak.
Anyway, you were asking on the phone why I have told mullahs to not talk against me, while, as you point out, Pakistan is based on Islam. Yes, mullahs certainly, I would say, are the ballheads of Islam. But they are only religious people. They will tell you how to reach heaven, how to maximize your rewards in heaven, how to punish those who deserve to be punished, and why they deserve to be punished, you know,.. all these deep, spri-chwal metachemical, philosophical things..but what to they know about running a country? Zero. Zipcode 90210...Turbo, I have to say, let your experienced CEO do it! I..
NSN: Sir, I think you mean "ergo", not "turbo"..
HMEHPPGPM: Eh? What is "ergo"? I was reading the brochure which accompanied the computer chairs in the new General's Lounge VI in GHQ, and I think I came across that word..
NSN: Sir, that would be "ergonomical". Good for your posture..
HMEHPPGPH: See, that is why I hate this English language. Such a profusion of confusion. Give me my 400% Pindigenous Urdu anytime and everytime.
And there is nothing wrong with my posture. I am always open to new analysis, I never have a rigid stance on anything. No, we are very well positioned geo-strategically; in that field, Pakistan will always hold its own against any adversary.
What I am concerned about is the socio-political environment. And that is where the Mullahs come in. After they come in, I tell them, look, do not mess up the geo-strategic situation that i have managed to acquire for Pakistan. I have had to work hard. I have missed many Friday night Qawwali Mehfils to fight for our current stability on various fronts, and even on the backside. Financially, Pakistan is secure, thanks to me. Militarily, it is securer, thanks to me. And geo-stategically, we are securest, thanks to me.
So I tell them, do not meddle in the affairs of the state. Let there be a separation between the Mosque and the State. This is not Britain, hain?
In other words, there are no other words to say this: we...Excuse me, Greenberry....Yes? Yes? Already? That is good news indeed. How many?... Praise Allah! What colour are they?.... Are they mine?... Yes, yes, that's exactly what I mean..OK..I'm coming..don't do anything to scare them..
Well, got to run..bye.
NSN: Good day, Sir, and thank you.
This is NSN.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[NSN paid avertisement]
The Pakistan Army: How the Indian Nose was Bloodied
in 1948, 1965, 1971, and 1999.
Gen. (Retd.) Mohammad F. Ret'uddeen
Declassified:
1953, 1969, 1973, 1997: Wars we won but did not tell you about.
Gen. (Retd.) Dilkhush Diklhaas Fail'uddeen
Choose from out great schemes:
Buy one get one free OR but two pay for one.
Fauji Qaid-e-Mirch Bookstores
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
NSN (Islamabad): We were exceedingly delighted to be invited once again to the diligently manicured lawns of the Presidental Grounds. This time we had asked the President General for his views on his order to Mullahs not to criticize him, although Pakistan is founded on Islam, and Islam, on Mullahs.
NSN: Greetings, Sir!
HMEHPPGPM: Yes, sister-in-law's cousin's bithday, I remember. Already posted it. How do you know all these things, hain? Do you have a prescription for the Greenberry?
NSN: No, Sir, I just meant, "hello".
HMEHPPGPM: Then you should, as I have said, say what you mean and mean what you say. In fact, in rural Pakistan, the fierce but hospitable Tabak-Jurrw'aql tribe says, "Do not send greetings if you do not intend to greet, do not arrange meetings if you don't intend to meet, because for every cup of tea, there has to be a biscuit".
NSN: Subhan Allah, Sir.
HMEHPPGPM: Yes, I will convey your reciprocations to the Tabak.
Anyway, you were asking on the phone why I have told mullahs to not talk against me, while, as you point out, Pakistan is based on Islam. Yes, mullahs certainly, I would say, are the ballheads of Islam. But they are only religious people. They will tell you how to reach heaven, how to maximize your rewards in heaven, how to punish those who deserve to be punished, and why they deserve to be punished, you know,.. all these deep, spri-chwal metachemical, philosophical things..but what to they know about running a country? Zero. Zipcode 90210...Turbo, I have to say, let your experienced CEO do it! I..
NSN: Sir, I think you mean "ergo", not "turbo"..
HMEHPPGPM: Eh? What is "ergo"? I was reading the brochure which accompanied the computer chairs in the new General's Lounge VI in GHQ, and I think I came across that word..
NSN: Sir, that would be "ergonomical". Good for your posture..
HMEHPPGPH: See, that is why I hate this English language. Such a profusion of confusion. Give me my 400% Pindigenous Urdu anytime and everytime.
And there is nothing wrong with my posture. I am always open to new analysis, I never have a rigid stance on anything. No, we are very well positioned geo-strategically; in that field, Pakistan will always hold its own against any adversary.
What I am concerned about is the socio-political environment. And that is where the Mullahs come in. After they come in, I tell them, look, do not mess up the geo-strategic situation that i have managed to acquire for Pakistan. I have had to work hard. I have missed many Friday night Qawwali Mehfils to fight for our current stability on various fronts, and even on the backside. Financially, Pakistan is secure, thanks to me. Militarily, it is securer, thanks to me. And geo-stategically, we are securest, thanks to me.
So I tell them, do not meddle in the affairs of the state. Let there be a separation between the Mosque and the State. This is not Britain, hain?
In other words, there are no other words to say this: we...Excuse me, Greenberry....Yes? Yes? Already? That is good news indeed. How many?... Praise Allah! What colour are they?.... Are they mine?... Yes, yes, that's exactly what I mean..OK..I'm coming..don't do anything to scare them..
Well, got to run..bye.
NSN: Good day, Sir, and thank you.
This is NSN.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[NSN paid avertisement]
The Pakistan Army: How the Indian Nose was Bloodied
in 1948, 1965, 1971, and 1999.
Gen. (Retd.) Mohammad F. Ret'uddeen
Declassified:
1953, 1969, 1973, 1997: Wars we won but did not tell you about.
Gen. (Retd.) Dilkhush Diklhaas Fail'uddeen
Choose from out great schemes:
Buy one get one free OR but two pay for one.
Fauji Qaid-e-Mirch Bookstores
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
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