"I never know what to wear when I see Dick": General Musharraf
Rawalpindi Feb 26: In a surprise visit to Pakistan, American vice president Dick Cheney gave a strongly worded message to Musharraf before the two of them spent the rest of the day in a hot tub in General Musharraf's military harem in Rawalpindi. Inside sources say that the US VP's message to musharraf included the phrases "touch me there, you hot hunk", though western analysts are certain that the message was firm, strong, and a lot of Dick's point got through to the Pakistani General.
In a private interview with NSN before the VP's arrival, His Royal Highness, President General Musharraf deigned to give us a taste of his tryst with Dick. Dictator General Musharraf stated: "America has been holding back on aiding and assisting Pakistan in becoming on e of the top most powers in the world. We want the world and we got Dick instead. But let it not be said that Pakistan, under my virile and firm leadership, was unable to stroke Dick to get the best for Pakistan. The Pakistani army is very experienced in that arena and our firm and upright military traditions stop us from saying any more. Please tell your readers at NSN that (US VP) Dick may be firm but the Pakistani army has handled firmer stuff and we are not about to stop now".
Shortly before leaving for the reception in honour of the US VP, General Musharraf held a pre-reception dressing-up get together, where the entire Pakistani military leadership and most of the civilian leadership watched Musharraf try out various dresses, including a sultry looking nightgown designed by Giorgio Armani, which was voted the favourite by the crowd, but was considered a little too intimate for a first date. As a token of Pakistan's deep and enduring friendship for America, the General presented a third-generation Goat from his family farm to the US vice president.
--NSN Staff Report.
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