The "Charm" controversy

Due to unsubstantiated allegations made in the trashy paperback published from the toilets of the State Department by a Ms. Rice, howls of unreasonable protests are rising against the prime minister, who also holds the title of national Ladies Mard.


The Prime Minister hold the title of the national ladies-mard due to his popularity with the wimmens.

Until the book was published, the population saw this as a great honor, they were even happy:



However, now it has become an affront to HandD. Therefore, the elected representatives in the great democracy are acting.

Rice snubbed 'flirt' Pak PM, Senate slams him

Quote:

New Delhi: The Pakistan Senate has moved a motion to summon Prime Minister Shaukat Aziz over allegations that he tried to “charm” US Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice during talks. Twice as Good: Condoleezza Rice and her Path to Power, a new biography of the American leader, claims Aziz tried his "seductive baritone on Rice during her first visit to Pakistan in March 2005. News agency DPA reports Marcus Mabry, a senior Newsweek journalist and author of the biography, writes that Aziz "tried his Saville Row-suited gigolo kind of charm” on Rice but ended up “babbling” and embarrassed. "There was this test of wills where he was trying to use all his charm on her as a woman and she just basically stared him down. By the end of the meeting, he was babbling," the book claims. According to the Pakistani paper Daily Times, Mabry writes “when Rice sat down with Prime Minister Shaukat Aziz, who fancies himself as ladies’ man, Aziz puffed himself up and held forth in what he obviously thought was his seductive baritone.” According to the book, Aziz bragged to Western diplomats that he could “conquer any woman in two minutes. The Senators, who signed the motion on Tuesday, asked Aziz to explain his conduct before the House. "The matter, as published, was shameful for the entire nation and needs discussion," the motion said. Aziz’s office on May 26 had said that the book’s claims against him were “trash”. "There is nothing more we could offer to such a nonsensical script, it is a trash" the Prime Minister's Secretariat's has said.

Frankly, by refusing to get charmed, Ms. Rice missed out on a good thing. On the other hand, I think this is a better way to save the remaining HandD than the earlier attempt, which was:

Shortcut rubbishes Condi case
Read the highlighted portion on how to charm Condi. This is the advice from Shortcut's secretariat. Hilarious.

Quote:

At the age of 53, Condoleezza Rice is still a single and it is said that she has her own fixations. In the same biography, it is said that once she addressed President Bush as “My husb-”. “They point to her remark at a Washington dinner party in 2004, when she said, ‘As I was telling my husb-’ before abruptly correcting herself, ‘As I was telling President Bush...’ (Rice told me she doesn’t think she ever made the comment; ‘I swear I don’t remember any such slip... I don’t think it happened,’ And neither do any number of other guests at the dinner, though some swear they heard her say ‘husband.’).”

My,my. What jealousy. Now we all know unmarried households are all the rage in the western countries. But really, in a conservative and moderately enlightened society like ours? Why did they not walk out? The cricket team can think faster than these leaders.

Mullah Nayakuddin finds gems

Pakistani Engineers Marvellous Architecture triumpth

Quote:

QUETTA: Unidentified people on Thursday blew up an electric tower in Kohlu, causing suspension of electricity to nearby areas. Several kilograms of explosive material was used to blow up the tower in Maywand, Kohlu.

Pakistani Train Tracks restructered scientifically

Quote:

QUETTA: Terrorists damaged a railway line and a small bridge in Sariab area of the provincial metropolis on Thursday morning. Railway police sources said that unknown terrorists had planted an explosive device which damaged the railway line and a small bridge near Killi Zareen between Sariab and Spezand. About 2.5 feet long railway track was blown up. The Railway Control Room said due to damage to the track, the incoming and outgoing trains were detained for two to three hours. The track was repaired in the afternoon and normal traffic was restored, railway sources said.

The Learned Respond

When asked:
mullah Mahdi-e-dra wrote:

Quote:

The truth has emerged. http://www.rediff.com/news/2007/may/31pak1.htm Over one lakh suicide bombers in Pak: cleric

What are the rest 159.9 milion?

The Learned Grand Maulvi Enqyooobuddin has responded:

AllahoAkbar! Kaffirs are so naive. They ask "Where are the other 151.9 million"?

Do you know how many beebal it take (even Bakistanis) phor Jehad?

1. Bum making: 13 million
2. 15 million Insurance claim adjustars (have to take bibi of bum shaheed to Brophejar Hafeez Saeed aphter bum because shaheed now with 72 houris, no need phor bibi)

3. 1 million Kendo Stix manuphacturers, mostly in Sialkot.

4. 3400 bum-fillers (used to make Adidas football in Faisalabad)

5. 100 million mullahs.

6. 7,200,000 houris-in-training phor the 100,000 bums-in-training.

7. 1 million Jirga Judges.

8. 20 million Jirga Enphorjars (all qualified phor giving Canadian Visa and 100 stribes).

9. 200,000 Jarnails in Baki Fauj

10. 540,000 downhill racers. (Baki Fauj)

A reader notices

A reader notices that kafir websites are now taking note of the speculation in the jannat stock markets:

http://www.rediff.com/news/2007/may/31pak1.htm
Over one lakh suicide bombers in Pak: cleric

This is a blatant attempt to manipulate the "72" sector stock prices.

Ulema hold public in awe

Respect for ulema now knows no bounds:

Ulema's words being paid great attention

Quote:

PESHAWAR: A bearded man exhorting people to recite the Kalama-e-Shahadat caused further panic in the courtroom of Peshawar High Court Chief Justice Tariq Parvez Khan after a car blast just outside the building on Tuesday. “Why are you lawyers and government officials afraid? Do not be afraid and recite Kalama-e-Shahadat now,” the man shouted out in the courtroom. Others in the courtroom tried to keep their distance from the man, fearing he was a suicide bomber. The man was eventually let out of the court, without being searched or detained. “I was one hundred percent sure that the man was a suicide bomber,” said Advocate Nasrullah, who was in the room.

Miscellaneous Happenings

NSN Reporter Mullah Nayakullah noticed:

Marvellous Djinn phenomenon in Pakistan

Quote:

Quetta—Four persons were injured as five explosions rocked the provincial capital Monday night. An explosion was reported in Chakki Shahwani area of Shalkot Police Station. Two persons were reported injured. They were removed to civil hospital for treatment. Another explosion took place in Satellite Town area. The explosion shattered windowpanes of the houses and shops etc. Third explosion occurred at an isolated area along Spinny road when unknown persons threw explosive material there. No report of any loss except shattering of windowpanes. Some unknown motorcycle riders threw explosive material into a house situated at Saryab Road and fled. Also in nearby ground, the explosive material was thrown in Kili Mobarak are near Spinny Road. The explosion caused the windowpanes of nearby buildings to crumble down. The location and nature of the fifth explosion could not be ascertained. Police was investigating into these explosions.

while Mullah Mahdi-e-dra found that:

EU trounces Indian bid to re-export Pak seafood despite ban

http://www.thenews.com.pk/daily_detail.asp?id=58194

Bliss to note H&D damage after EU report of Kashmir, now it is equal equal onlee. A rose is smelling equally bad due its holy origin by any name.

Modern girls turning drug pushers’
http://www.thenews.com.pk/daily_detail.asp?id=58330

Ladies picking up the slack due to high demand of 72 of the phairest among the men.

Canadian visa ...

Rapist must 'Pay' with wife.

Islamabad - A tribal council in central Pakistan has ordered the surrender of the wife of a rapist to the child victim's father for retribution, media reports said on Tuesday.

The council, called a punchayat, was convened in a village near the Punjab Province city of Multan, located 380km south of Islamabad, after police refused to register a case against a local man for assaulting the minor.

Brothers of the accused man had initially offered one of their four daughters in compensation for the crime, the newspaper Daily Nation said.

But the council decreed that the father of the victim could wreak revenge on the man's wife, who upon hearing the verdict moved to her parents' home for protection.

Tribal law still applies in many rural areas of Pakistan and it is not uncommon for women and children to be "given" to aggrieved families during the settlement of feuds.

No comment ..

Little girls demanded as penalty for karo kari

Quote:

LARKANA: The family of two small girls has been under threat for the past ten days after they refused to give up their daughters when a ‘jirga’ decided that three-year-old Tasleem and four-year-old Farzana be given as a penalty. Both girls are of the Mirjat caste. Aijaz Mirjat, their uncle, said that the girls are from village Hamal of Taluka Warah in district Kambar-Shahdad Kot. Tasleem is the daughter of Aijaz’s brother, Niaz, and Farzana is the daughter of Ali Asghar Mirjat. He said that a penalty was issued after karo kari was blamed on his brother, Ibrahim Mirjat. He said that despite jirgas being illegal, one was held by an influential cast member, Wadero Athar Mirjat, during which he announced that the two minors should be given to the complainant as a penalty. “When we refused to accept this inhumane judgment they lodged an FIR against us in the Hamal police station on charges of stealing wheat,” said Aijaz. “There is no way for us to leave the area immediately. We have, however, migrated from Taluka Warah to the village of Miandad Chandio in district Dadu.” They are still being threatened to either accept the decision or face the consequences, added Aijaz. “But how can we hand over our innocent girls,” he asked. A delegation from the PPP comprising MNA Anwer Bhutto, MNA Hizbulla Buhgio, and MPA Ayaz Soomro visited the family and the girls and assured them that that the PPP will help however it can. Anwer Bhutto said that they are there extending their support to the family because Benazir Bhutto took notice of this case and advised them to visit the family. “The PPP will stand by this family every step of the way,” he added.

Sports teams of the Punjab Police

Quote:

Punjab police play havoc with Sports Complex ISLAMABAD - The police force, which was called to the federal capital for an operation against ‘Lal Masjid’ has played havoc with the most peaceful place, Pakistan Sports Complex.

Of course, when in Rome, do as the Romans do. They are staying at a sports complex, no less!! So, the policemen are playing. Anyway, the operation is not until ever-after anyway, so if they passing time by playing, I don't see any harm in it.

Quote:

Pakistani student accused of cutting Sikh teenager's hair NEW YORK - A Pakistani student at a New York City high school was arrested Friday after he was accused of cutting hair of a fellow Sikh teenager.

This, I dont understand. If you are at home, no one can be a barber, but step on the shores of liberty and everyone is Scissorhands.

Meanwhile, lets start a karo-kari counter, on today may 27. This is purely a sporting event, later we will have a contest on how long it will take the counter to reach various limits.

Quote:

Man pays for wife's travel to jannat SUKKUR: A man sent off his wife to jannat over Karo-Kari in the village of Bahoo Sabzoi in the jurisdiction of the B-Section police of the Kandhkot district late on Friday night. Later, he fled.

What do you mean fled? Downhill skiing, yes. Tactical brilliance, plenty. But never has anyone from this land been know to flee. In no tense, do we flee. The man has retreated. Tactical maneuver onlee.

This is probably a prelude to the canadian visa application:

Quote:

Finding the missing Rani Two years have been passed but there are still no clues about the whereabouts of Shagufta Rani, wife of Qasier Sagheer Alam, who had claimed that his wife was kidnapped by Inspector Pervez Iqbal and others on May 24, 2005. Since then, Alam has moved heaven and earth to get his wife recovered. The woeful story of Alam began when he contracted court marriage to his beloved Rani in Karachi. However, the latter’s family did not approve of this match. It is alleged that the family used negative tactics against the young couple and influential family members backed by police officer, Iqbal, not only kidnapped Rani, but later claimed that she was killed.

No, wait. Its that jannat bit again. { K_K_Counter = 2 ; /* 5/27 */ }

Lastly, we have this grand news.

Quote:

Urdu as a vehicle to express scientific thoughts Literary prowess is not limited to any particular field of knowledge and it is possible to use Urdu as the vehicle to compose and express the scientific thoughts and achievement. The narration in Urdu verse and prose could be presented in such a way that the reader or the listener enjoys it immensely in addition to acquiring latest knowledge in science and technology.

Left out this one, sorry. { K_K_Counter = 3; /* 5/27 */ }

Quote:

Husband pays for new bride's travel A recently-wed woman was sent to jannat early by her husband in Korangi police limits on Saturday. Nadia, 18, wife of Ghulam Mohammad was stabbed playfully by her husband after a quarrel at her residence 512, Bilal Colony, Sector 8/B. Later, Mohammad fled while Nadia was swimming in the pool (of blood).

Lies, lies, all lies - at least the "fled" bit. And secondly, how many times have we to say that the 30 day money back guarantee on new goods is absolutely essential. If only, she could be returned, this would not have been necessary.

Health services improvement in Bakistan http://www.dawn.com/2007/05/27/top9.htm
Quote:
LAKKI MARWAT, May 26: Two senior health officials were kidnapped along with the car they were travelling in near Bakhmal Ahmadzai in the jurisdiction of Tajori police station here on Saturday, officials and eyewitnesses said. They said that Dr Mohammad Ishaq, medical superintendent, District Headquarters Hospital, Lakki, and Dr Abdur Rehman, deputy district officer health, were going to office when some armed men stopped their car in the Bakhmal Ahmadzai area. The kidnappers dragged them out of the car, put them in a double-cabin pick-up and drove away. They also took away the car. Soon after the incident, a joint team of police and the Frontier Constabulary led by DPO Abdur Rashid Khan combed Tajbikhel, Janikhel and other areas to find the whereabouts of the kidnapped officials. “We are also seeking help from the local people to track down the kidnappers and secure a safe release of the two doctors,” the DPO told Dawn said. Residents of Tajori and other villages also formed an armed group to search the health officials. Meanwhile, doctors, paramedics and staff of the DHQ Hospital held a demonstration in protest against the kidnapping of Dr Mohammad Ishaq and Dr Abdur Rehman. Bakistan soundly beats inflation target http://www.dawn.com/2007/05/27/top10.htm
Quote:
KARACHI, May 26: The State Bank has failed to contain inflation as it exceeded the central bank’s revised estimate for 2006-07 and is expected to rise further in the next fiscal year. “FY07 inflation will be in the range of 7.5-7.8 per cent, above the revised target of 6.5 per cent,” forecasts the third quarterly report of the State Bank presented by Governor Dr Shamshad Akhtar at a press conference here on Saturday.BAKISTAN IS THE WORLDS KIDNEY EXPORT HUB http://www.dawn.com/2007/05/27/nat1.htm
Quote:
Meanwhile, three more kidney ‘donors’ appeared at the Factory Area police on Saturday and said they had come to Lahore for work sometimes ago but an agent of the kidney mafia lured them to a hospital for donating their vital organ against Rs100,000 per case.
Diyar Editar , how come a Baki is worth nothing but his kidney is worth 100,000 rupiya onlee?

Uninvited Criticism

I detested this piece of negative coverage, given that there are a billion people below the poverty level in the subcontinent. Of course, corporal punishment has been handed down in the subcontinent from the british days. It is an effective means of establishing martial authority, and instilling discipline.

Quote:

What happens when a varsity teacher goes berserk ISLAMABAD - It may be one of the most prestigious public sector educational institutions but the evidences of violence and murders in the recent past ..

Naturally, I protest this sensationalism causing grave damage to national honor and dignity when all that has happened is:

Quote:

All of a sudden, according to the source, Munawar stood up from his chair, took his shoes off waving it in the air as if he was about to throw it on Amir.

Notice the made up language, the poor professor did not even get a chance to use his footwear. And yet

Quote:

Amir also lodged an FIR against the teacher accusing him of misconduct.

What is this land coming to?

Festival at the Canadian High Commission

As one in attendance of the Canadian visa festival at the High Commission in IslamAintBad, I would like to report that:

Quote:

Aromatic night at Canadian HC ISLAMABAD - As the sun went down and the lights turned on, the Canadian High Commission was in full swing on Friday night.

I would like to caution the tourists that taking pictures in northern areas is, well, a hazard, but still

Quote:

.. Andrea Auger who captured the snap of a truck moving with the snake pace at Karakoram Highway ..

more hazardous is to cast aspirations on the persons of the tight and fair trucks plying the deeper than sea friendship highway. Still, given that the night was still young:

Quote:

Heart-touching function was on its peak when different models wearing traditional and cultural embrioded outfits started walking through the audience while mesmerizing them. The dresses were depicting various attributes of the ancient but mysterious land of the subcontinent. At the end, all the energetic young danced at the rhythmic tones of the drum and the flute and their energies were once again restored by offering them delicious foods of Pakistani origin.

But what they dont understand, is that this sort of thing attracts attention and while the faithful are busy just this moment:

Quote:

The Lal Masjid administration on Friday announced that its students would attack audio and video shops, massage centres and brothels in Islamabad if their owners did not wind up their businesses immediately.

they still take notice of this sort of thing

Quote:

He regretted that the MMA government had got involved in purely political matters which resulted in social degradation. “The sale of drugs and liquor has increased and dancing, prostitution and music are on the rise in the NWFP which is being ruled by graduates of seminaries,” he added.

and accordingly have issued an ultimatum

Quote:

Stop immoral acts or Lal Masjid students will move in: Aziz ISLAMABAD - Khateeb Lal Masjid Maulana Abdul Aziz on Friday urged the government to shut down all centres of immoral activities and take stern action against the police and robbers otherwise the students of the seminary would punish them under the Shariah laws.

Now this is sort of a problem, if you are Canadian, because obviously you wont get the Canadian visa even if you qualify. However these japanese girls have done well to qualify before anything process changes:

Quote:

Reportedly, two Japanese girls aged between 18 to 20 came to Pakistan some six months ago to learn Urdu language. Both were residing in Garden Town since their arrival. On the day of incident, Schizuka and her friend went to Gulberg to watch the shooting of a film. Two youngsters asked the girls to go with them and later took them in a house owned by one of them. Meanwhile they also invited their two other friends in the same house.

Having qualified for the visa, of course, they can forget trying to gain any publicity out of their wonderful experience, since others have already been warned to not commercialize their failed attempts to gain western visa.

Quote:

Forget inquiry into killings KARACHI - President Pervez Musharraf on Friday told a high-level meeting to "forget an inquiry" into the Karachi carnage on May 12 when the chief justice arrived here to address the Sindh High Court Bar Association

Israel and the rest...

These things dont get their rightful coverage in the world media:

Quote:
AJK considering diplomatic ties with Israel: Atiq

MUZAFFARABAD: In a bid to lessen the number of enemies, AJK government is considering establishment of better diplomatic ties with Israel, said Prime Minister Sardar Atiq Ahmad Khan.

Better diplomatic relations with Israel is the need of the hour in the rapidly changing global scenario, he added.

Now I have been advocating better relations with all religions forever, if I may say so myself. However, how that is possible in this democratic and deeply religious nation where, for example,









is how people express their appreciation of the Pope. As this wonderful picture by Maciej Dakowicz reminds us,

that a life spent doing this will likely result in grown ups like this



who will likely say and do the following, without any real rhyme or reason


(Images - AP/AFP)

which might just throw a shiny metallic tool in the works.

Still, I am sure given that its the need of the hour, and with a few less people taking pictures, it can be worked out.

March of Brogress: Images from the recent past

Now, normally we don't publish this sort of thing. But Mullah Nayakuddin found some good pictures of the recent peaceful expressions of rights by the citizens, so they are here just for archival.

Mullah Nayakuddin shows talent

Mullah Nayakuddin manages to locate a few snaps of our favorite summer theater event:




Breathtaking, no? Tell them boys from the girls, anyone?