Signs point to cosmic manipulation, more investigations needed: Scientists
By our correspondent, Information and Culture corner table, NSN
CharasAdda (NSN): Scientists and ulema investigating recent air vacuum formations (see earlier agency report , and agency report ) have pleaded for more resources to expedite their urgent quest for defense against these mysterious happenings.
According to them increased signs of djinns and other alien activity ( agency report ) do no auger well for the future. While not wanting to be quoted, they pointed to the possibility of a foreign hand manipulating the cosmic forces to Pakistan's disadvantage, and stressing the threat to national security such events posed. “It is continuation of what is going on in our tribal areas and across the border in Afghanistan,” Asif Iqbal Daudzai, Information Minister for the North West Frontier Province (NWFP) noted separately when asked to comment.
Ulema rubbished claims of militants and Al-Qaeda being involved in the events. They noted that it is well established that cosmic forces can be manipulated by good and evil sorcerers alike. They pointed to China's plans to create rain during the Olympics as a good use of cosmic manipulation. "Pakistan lacks the resources to model cosmic events, and identify the means to communicate and manipulate the djinns, ghosts and other cosmic energy forces", said Dr Malik Saeed Akhtar Chajra. He noted that while Pakistan lacked the superior computing and analysis tools required that are available with its adversaries, frequent interruptions and meddling by external forces have disrupted the teaching of traditional alternative methods by the ulema. As a result there is a severe shortage of djinn controllers and ghost whisperers in several parts of Pakistan. This shortage is most evident in NWFP, he noted.
Pakistan is a conservative peace loving nation on the front line of the global offensive against terror. Unloved and under-appreciated, Pakistan continues to carry out its obligations and take the fight to the enemy with only minimal supply of helicopters, anti-tank missiles, F-16s, AMRAAMs AIM-9s and other low technology support from its foreign partners, who are too distracted by their domestic politics to play an active role. China is Pakistan's closest friend in its deeper than the sea all weather friendship.
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