Pakistan will always hold its own
NSN (Islamabad): We were exceedingly delighted to be invited once again to the diligently manicured lawns of the Presidental Grounds. This time we had asked the President General for his views on his order to Mullahs not to criticize him, although Pakistan is founded on Islam, and Islam, on Mullahs.
NSN: Greetings, Sir!
HMEHPPGPM: Yes, sister-in-law's cousin's bithday, I remember. Already posted it. How do you know all these things, hain? Do you have a prescription for the Greenberry?
NSN: No, Sir, I just meant, "hello".
HMEHPPGPM: Then you should, as I have said, say what you mean and mean what you say. In fact, in rural Pakistan, the fierce but hospitable Tabak-Jurrw'aql tribe says, "Do not send greetings if you do not intend to greet, do not arrange meetings if you don't intend to meet, because for every cup of tea, there has to be a biscuit".
NSN: Subhan Allah, Sir.
HMEHPPGPM: Yes, I will convey your reciprocations to the Tabak.
Anyway, you were asking on the phone why I have told mullahs to not talk against me, while, as you point out, Pakistan is based on Islam. Yes, mullahs certainly, I would say, are the ballheads of Islam. But they are only religious people. They will tell you how to reach heaven, how to maximize your rewards in heaven, how to punish those who deserve to be punished, and why they deserve to be punished, you know,.. all these deep, spri-chwal metachemical, philosophical things..but what to they know about running a country? Zero. Zipcode 90210...Turbo, I have to say, let your experienced CEO do it! I..
NSN: Sir, I think you mean "ergo", not "turbo"..
HMEHPPGPM: Eh? What is "ergo"? I was reading the brochure which accompanied the computer chairs in the new General's Lounge VI in GHQ, and I think I came across that word..
NSN: Sir, that would be "ergonomical". Good for your posture..
HMEHPPGPH: See, that is why I hate this English language. Such a profusion of confusion. Give me my 400% Pindigenous Urdu anytime and everytime.
And there is nothing wrong with my posture. I am always open to new analysis, I never have a rigid stance on anything. No, we are very well positioned geo-strategically; in that field, Pakistan will always hold its own against any adversary.
What I am concerned about is the socio-political environment. And that is where the Mullahs come in. After they come in, I tell them, look, do not mess up the geo-strategic situation that i have managed to acquire for Pakistan. I have had to work hard. I have missed many Friday night Qawwali Mehfils to fight for our current stability on various fronts, and even on the backside. Financially, Pakistan is secure, thanks to me. Militarily, it is securer, thanks to me. And geo-stategically, we are securest, thanks to me.
So I tell them, do not meddle in the affairs of the state. Let there be a separation between the Mosque and the State. This is not Britain, hain?
In other words, there are no other words to say this: we...Excuse me, Greenberry....Yes? Yes? Already? That is good news indeed. How many?... Praise Allah! What colour are they?.... Are they mine?... Yes, yes, that's exactly what I mean..OK..I'm coming..don't do anything to scare them..
Well, got to run..bye.
NSN: Good day, Sir, and thank you.
This is NSN.
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