To Kommammerate Kuffar Horror Picchar - Biranha

The real kahaani oph phlood

Wahamullah haj eggjblained to me what habbened. Blij to bay attenshun.

Bakistan's scientisht working in Khan Labs develobed a machine phor changing climate. They called it BAAP-e-HAARP. Maane ki Bakistaan Atmosphere Alteration Project.

The idea waj to hurt India, those kambakht who were stealing Paani-e-Indus.

BAAP would return the favor by stealing the monsoon phrom India.

Well, aj they say, the machine had some dejine flaw ... it worked 400% more than eggjbected ... the rest ij history.

A Conspiracy Unravels: India caused floods in Pakistan with the help of Chandra devata

Lahore, August 19, 2010.

The water came in the morning, quietly sweeping across the madrassa terrorist training camp and into the village. Within hours, it was as high as a man's shoulder and Abdul Nabi Fahadullah had lost his guns, his ammunition and all 10 of his goats.

Weeks after massive downpours first battered northern Pakistan, submerging tens of thousands of square miles, leaving millions of terrorists students homeless, those floodwaters are still sweeping downriver and through the south, adding one more layer of misery to the terrorists long awaiting the signal to cross over to India and reach jannat.

"This is the fate of the country," said another terrorist student, a bitterly angry man named Baba Hamitullah, who took a break from hamming his guns incessantly . "It is the bad luck of Pakistan that we cannot attack any Americans or Indians or even Shias and Ahmaddiyas." Behind him, nearly 50 members of his tribe — with their hamming guns, were ready to enter into new territory when the floods struck.

Speculation is rife in learned circles in Pakistan over the real cause of floods that have affected the country.

News affairs editor and met specialist Dr. Shivshuddin Shamshuddin Silani, who looks for theories in deep, spoke exclusively, "It seems a conspiracy to me. The floods stuck on July 29, 2010 exactly eleven months after the Indian Chandrayaan-I lost contact on August 29, 2010. The Chandrayaan-I might have caused some disturbances in the Moon's behaviour towards Pakistan."

"It's not just the scale (of the floods), it's the depth as well," said Martanullah Harnab Ali Khan, repeatedly emphasizing with his hands , the humanitarian operations manager for the aid group Pakistanis Beyond Pakistan. " Something seems amiss to me" said Martanullah Harnab Ali Khan, repeatedly repeating his dire forecast " A dangerous game is about to begin from the Indian side"

NSN decided to consult some specialists to bring out the real story.

Speaking exclusively to learned Maulana Daulip Mahabali Khan who lives in Bangalore, Kerala , it occurs that certain astrological calculations were taken into considerations before unleashing the floods on Pakistan.

Said Maulana Daulip Mahabali Khan, "The date the flood struck was July 29. The numerological total of 29 is 2 + 9 = 11 = 1 + 1 = 2. Two is the number of the moon in Indian numerology. The Indians claim every natural resource as their God and worship the Moon as Chandra Devata. As per a respected Indian jyotish scholar, Moon is the presiding deity of the element water, and rules over the tides of the sea. Moon rules number 2 in indian numerology. Now there are 27 Nakshatras of the Moon. Nakshatras in Astrology are the 27 constellations. Now, each nakshatra has a God and a Gana. On July 29, 2010, the Satabhishak Nakshatra was in effect. Interestingly, the God of the Satabhishak Nakshatra is Varun Devata, who is the God of Water and his Gana is Rakshasa. But the Devata is also worshipped for rainfall! Tell me do you see a link emerging here? "

After Maulana Daulip Mahabali Khan made these startling revelations, NSN decided to consult Mulla Haroon Goputra, different from a Maulana with similar name but interested in missile physics. US based Mulla Haroon Goputra, founder of the Pakistani think tank Khanakya Institue of Advanced studies, is well known for looking deep into the future. As per Mulla Haroon Goputra, something wrong has happened. " See, don't argue with me but Sha'aban is the eighth month of the Islamic calendar. This is the month of ‘separation’, so called because the Arabs used to disperse in search of water. Now July 29, 2010 was the fifteenth day of Sha'aban. Mid-Sha'ban is the 15th day of the month of Sha'ban. Sunnis observe Mid-Sha'ban as a night of worship and salvation. The 'date with fate' remembers when Allah saved Noah's followers from the deluge. The Sunni narrative is that Allah determines the destiny of all people, including whether a person lives or dies, in the coming year and for this reason it is sometimes called the "Night of Emancipation". The midnight of July 28th and the morning of July 29th was the same night."

The question then begs itself, like Pakistanis often beg, does it mean that India has influenced the Moon or Chandra Devata who in concert with Allah decided to rain down on Pakistan? In short, has Allah the mightyful abandoned Pakistan ?


Contributing editors:
Dr. Haji Partapullah, NSN Lahore desk
Mullah Mahendroo, Overseas desk, Ground Zero, New Yorkabad
Vakil Nayakuddin in Bangalore, Kerala for NSN

All dates and events mentioned are true as per the respective calendars.

Musharraf vijited Africa

Fatwa! Blij to IED Mubarak thij rock phormation

Blij to tilt jour head sidewaej and dekho at the bicchar. It ij phrom Kuffar watan oph Purma. Some nanha mujahid should plow it ub!

Musharraf at work in the Ophice

Inam winning bicchar oph Glory-e-Musharraf

Komments moderated

All komments were moderated - 300+ komments, but most in japaneje and chineje. What for?

Aljo please to welkome new hakimullahj:

• Lalmullah
  
• Enqyoob: mullah enqyoob
• Mujahid Mullah Aalloak-uz-amman bin Ghazi
• Rasululah bin Baluchi
• and mullah mahdi-e-dra

any other mujahids wanting to post, or bekome hakim pleaje to kontakt the hakims.

Glory-e-Musharraf

Thij ij a consbiracy oph Induj Paani Treaty!

Musharraph in Goat-e-mala

Mushrraph suddenly appeared in Goat-e-mala, looks imbressive!!

Know your RAW

Who was the first RAW agint in Bakistan?

Bappa RAWal

Where is the RAW HQ situated in Bakistan?

RAWalpindi

Name the Epic written by Kaffir Leo Tolstoy

RAW and Peace

Name the RAW agent in Hindu ( Kaffir) Mythology

RAWan

Which Chanakian bania PM of India was also a RAW agent?

Narasimha RAW

Who is behind sectarian strife in Bakistan?

RAW

Which Australian fast bowler who performed exceedingly well against Bakistan, was also a RAW agent?

Glenn McGRAW

Which Rock N Roll band of the 80s was formed as part of a conspiracy to wean Bakistani youth away from the HoKo?

RAWling Stones

Name the RAW agent trying to wean Bakistani kids away from the HoKO by authoring the haraam Harry Potter series?

Jaswinder Kaur RAWling

Which famous Frenchman(RAW agent) predicted the break-up of India and the subsequent downward spiral of Bakistan ?

RAWstradamus

Who fathered neo Brophet(Pubic lice Be upon Him) Zaid Zaman Hamid?

RAW

What do you call a Pakistani muslim RAW agent?

Rat deserting a sinking ship

How many RAW agents does it take to change the light bulb correctly?

We will let the readers know after load -shedding

What did the African say to his Bakistani friend after reading about the 80% increase in retarded children being born in Bakistan?

RAWL down the rubber man

What is the Bakistani slang word for Fiscal deficit?

RAW conspiracy

Musharaaf Tasveer Kheencho Din

Everypody Draw Musharraf Din

Diyar Jirga,

Mullah Enqyoob bin Arvardi haj a wonderfool khyaal. In phact, a very Roshan Khyaal. It ij high waqt phor a Youm-e-Musharraf. What petter way to celeprate than to draw him, hain?

Blij to sujjest the halaal din phor thij cauje.

Who ij to plame indeed?

Diyar Pirather Mullaj,

Blij to muaf karo phor absenj. I waj, aj they say, "ducking, bobbing and weaving" phrom the bird in the sky raining hellphyre.

It ij the waqt to ijjue Fatwa on all things haraam that lead minds of young boys into pum making. Our military eggjbert, Major Butt Retarded haj nailed hij head on a hammer.

Let uj dekho at injtrument of terrorijm. I poocho:



who invented TNT? Sweedish Kafir.

Who invented Toyota car? Japani Kafir.

Who invented banking? Angrezi Kafir.

Who invented PhyreWorks? Cheeni Kafir.

Who invented gas cylinder? German Kafir (or, waj it gas chamber?)

Who invented New Yark? Amreeki Kafir.

Who invented depression? Hindoo Kafir (I am bojitive)




All theje inventionj were ingredientj oph the blot. Why plame the boor kid? He dekho and he karo, like gandhi monkey.


oph courj, who invented Talipan? Yej, we did! put, that ij naat the boint.

Salaamj.

Al-Okullah.

Who is to Blame for Faisal Shahzad? Not Pakistan!!

Diyar thoughtfool readers. Beepul blame Pakistan for Faisal Shahzad, but I think that introspection is needed and an equal amount (if not more) of the blame is to be shared by the west and wimmens. Blease consider:

1. Faisal did *not* set off a bum as long as he was *not* driving a Nissan. 3 days after buying a Nissan, what habbens? He tries to set off a bum!! He might have been born and brought up in Pakistan with phamily and friends in Pakistan, BUT The connection between Jabanese car combanies and terror should be investigated. Also note that Taliban drives Toyota and Benazir was assassinated with a sunroof lever of a Toyota. Coincidence? I think not!!

2. Reliable sources tell me that Faisal visited miscreant chat rooms on the Internet. As it is well known, Al Gore invented the Internet. Al Gore’s policies are to blame for radicalizing vast numbers oph the Ummah.

3. Faisal was US citizen for 1 year, but married for 3 years. That is 300% more influence due to marrij!! All married wimmens should introsbect about why they cause young mild mannered men to become radicalized.

4. As anyone who has held a tank of Bropane in one hand and a Can of Petrol in the other hand at the same time can tell you, the next immediate unbearable urge is to set off a firebomb among the Kuffars. Knowing that Bropane and Petrol incites the bious, why do the Kuffars insist on selling them in the same shop? That should be introsbected. (Same argument to be used phor South Bark controverjy)

5. What is it about US universities & companies that attract people from all over the world (some of whom might end up setting off bums?). As any pious Mullah will tell you, the tembtation is to blame, not the berson who acts on the tembtation. US is to blame for the temptation to join these Universities and companies. This should be fixed in the US immediately if US wants to reduce terror.

6. Whether Pakistani terror groups “export” terror or whether these groups are contacted by willing recruits for training to “import” terror should be carefully thought about. The fact that irrespective of whether it is import or export, it ij done by Pakistani groups to a Pakistani, should not distract us from this introspection.

7. US society should sit up and take responsibility for their citizens committing terror (esbecially those who came out of their own will and became citijens through marrij) by arresting them and trying them in a court. Pakistanis will support them in this endeavor, just like we did with Aafiya.

8. Pakistan too will take responsibility like it always has by arresting and trying heads of extremist organizations (Exceptions are good Taalipaan, Strategic assets, Punjabi groubs, Cashmere groups, any groub that has ever killed a Shia)

9. Why are western Jihadis well educated & from upper middle class? This should be rectified immediately by awarding bulk visas to poor illiterate beepuls from tribal areas who wish to do Jihad.

10. The explanation that many people in Pakistan want to set off bombs in the US and only educated upper middle class people get a visa is Haraam. The assumption that educated upper middle class Pakistanis went to US and after that US society radicalized them is Halal.

As a ending note, I wish to point out that restricting Visas and Citijenship to suspected Pakistani extremists, will only strengthen the hands of extremists. Not blaming Pakistanis phor Pakistani terrorijsts trained in Pakistan camps is needed for beace in South Asia, Solving afghan broblem and strenghthening democrajy in Pakistan.

Also Quasab is not Pakistani.