The Multani Standoff

Assfaq Kiyani nowminashun phor Ojkaar

Full Relief and a happy ending: Strategic Assets are safe

Deiyar Biradhers,
Pleej issue appropriate Fatwa against evil koophar who are making fun of bakistan's right to get
AIDS phrom one and everybody.

Hajaar lice and keede on their beards

To Kommammerate Kuffar Horror Picchar - Biranha

The real kahaani oph phlood

Wahamullah haj eggjblained to me what habbened. Blij to bay attenshun.

Bakistan's scientisht working in Khan Labs develobed a machine phor changing climate. They called it BAAP-e-HAARP. Maane ki Bakistaan Atmosphere Alteration Project.

The idea waj to hurt India, those kambakht who were stealing Paani-e-Indus.

BAAP would return the favor by stealing the monsoon phrom India.

Well, aj they say, the machine had some dejine flaw ... it worked 400% more than eggjbected ... the rest ij history.

A Conspiracy Unravels: India caused floods in Pakistan with the help of Chandra devata

Lahore, August 19, 2010.

The water came in the morning, quietly sweeping across the madrassa terrorist training camp and into the village. Within hours, it was as high as a man's shoulder and Abdul Nabi Fahadullah had lost his guns, his ammunition and all 10 of his goats.

Weeks after massive downpours first battered northern Pakistan, submerging tens of thousands of square miles, leaving millions of terrorists students homeless, those floodwaters are still sweeping downriver and through the south, adding one more layer of misery to the terrorists long awaiting the signal to cross over to India and reach jannat.

"This is the fate of the country," said another terrorist student, a bitterly angry man named Baba Hamitullah, who took a break from hamming his guns incessantly . "It is the bad luck of Pakistan that we cannot attack any Americans or Indians or even Shias and Ahmaddiyas." Behind him, nearly 50 members of his tribe — with their hamming guns, were ready to enter into new territory when the floods struck.

Speculation is rife in learned circles in Pakistan over the real cause of floods that have affected the country.

News affairs editor and met specialist Dr. Shivshuddin Shamshuddin Silani, who looks for theories in deep, spoke exclusively, "It seems a conspiracy to me. The floods stuck on July 29, 2010 exactly eleven months after the Indian Chandrayaan-I lost contact on August 29, 2010. The Chandrayaan-I might have caused some disturbances in the Moon's behaviour towards Pakistan."

"It's not just the scale (of the floods), it's the depth as well," said Martanullah Harnab Ali Khan, repeatedly emphasizing with his hands , the humanitarian operations manager for the aid group Pakistanis Beyond Pakistan. " Something seems amiss to me" said Martanullah Harnab Ali Khan, repeatedly repeating his dire forecast " A dangerous game is about to begin from the Indian side"

NSN decided to consult some specialists to bring out the real story.

Speaking exclusively to learned Maulana Daulip Mahabali Khan who lives in Bangalore, Kerala , it occurs that certain astrological calculations were taken into considerations before unleashing the floods on Pakistan.

Said Maulana Daulip Mahabali Khan, "The date the flood struck was July 29. The numerological total of 29 is 2 + 9 = 11 = 1 + 1 = 2. Two is the number of the moon in Indian numerology. The Indians claim every natural resource as their God and worship the Moon as Chandra Devata. As per a respected Indian jyotish scholar, Moon is the presiding deity of the element water, and rules over the tides of the sea. Moon rules number 2 in indian numerology. Now there are 27 Nakshatras of the Moon. Nakshatras in Astrology are the 27 constellations. Now, each nakshatra has a God and a Gana. On July 29, 2010, the Satabhishak Nakshatra was in effect. Interestingly, the God of the Satabhishak Nakshatra is Varun Devata, who is the God of Water and his Gana is Rakshasa. But the Devata is also worshipped for rainfall! Tell me do you see a link emerging here? "

After Maulana Daulip Mahabali Khan made these startling revelations, NSN decided to consult Mulla Haroon Goputra, different from a Maulana with similar name but interested in missile physics. US based Mulla Haroon Goputra, founder of the Pakistani think tank Khanakya Institue of Advanced studies, is well known for looking deep into the future. As per Mulla Haroon Goputra, something wrong has happened. " See, don't argue with me but Sha'aban is the eighth month of the Islamic calendar. This is the month of ‘separation’, so called because the Arabs used to disperse in search of water. Now July 29, 2010 was the fifteenth day of Sha'aban. Mid-Sha'ban is the 15th day of the month of Sha'ban. Sunnis observe Mid-Sha'ban as a night of worship and salvation. The 'date with fate' remembers when Allah saved Noah's followers from the deluge. The Sunni narrative is that Allah determines the destiny of all people, including whether a person lives or dies, in the coming year and for this reason it is sometimes called the "Night of Emancipation". The midnight of July 28th and the morning of July 29th was the same night."

The question then begs itself, like Pakistanis often beg, does it mean that India has influenced the Moon or Chandra Devata who in concert with Allah decided to rain down on Pakistan? In short, has Allah the mightyful abandoned Pakistan ?


Contributing editors:
Dr. Haji Partapullah, NSN Lahore desk
Mullah Mahendroo, Overseas desk, Ground Zero, New Yorkabad
Vakil Nayakuddin in Bangalore, Kerala for NSN

All dates and events mentioned are true as per the respective calendars.