AoA maulana Yell Yem has been very industrius past few week peelow are some eggzampule
Nikileaks: We will sue agencies!
NSN: Islamabad - it has come to our attention that certain agencies have been distributing authentic Nikileaks maal to newspapers in Pakistan for profit making purposes. Firstly this is against the tenets of the noble state of Pakistan and all that we hold dear. Second, dears may be held, as long as they are goats or goat like. Thirdly, NSN and Nikileaks went to great lengths to obtain the maal that we have shared with the public in line with our treasured principled stand of moral and diplomatic service that has led to the information being created and sourced in the first place. For the profit not to flow back to us is unpardonable.
We condom the agencies who have leaked our leak. There is no place for a leaking condom in our society, nor should any of us take a leaking condom lying down. We must protest, we must rise up - firm and proud! Otherwise the leak will be rammed down our throats and we will have no recourse to justice and our voices will be gagged and choked. This cannot come to pass.
Is this what our four-fathers wanted for us during our difficult conception into nationhood? Is it for this that we willingly gave up our benign indulgent rule over east pakistan?
It is time for the truth seeking missile of our public opinion to home in on target and shower us with the blessings of punjabi hegemony, sunni dominance and fuedal aristocracy within the benign bosom of love of our proud and valiant armed forces (who have excellent relationships with Americans unlike the hindu fanatical genocidal indian army)*
NSN and Nikileaks urges all pakistanis to leak and leak again - we must flood the nation once again with our truth
NSN - Leak-no-logy
NSN Wikileaks Ekjklujibh
NSN Washington DC: In startling revelations in the wikileaks diplomatic cables, it has come to light that senior US government officials including Hillary Clington, Mike Mullen, and Richard Holebroak have been seen by staffers as forcing Pakistani leaders such as Gilani, Zardari and even His Sinister Strangeloveness General Kiyani to perform mujra type dances to 'Munna Badnaam Hua' a well known Zionist adaptation of a cunning Yindu (haram) song that is currently being used to subvert the very fabric of Pakistani society, within the confines of Dupont Circle thana.
Insiders said that Gilani was made to dance in close proximity to Zardari whilst HSS Kiyani was gyrating in the background with his trousers rolled up above the knee whilst wearing a genji. Madame CLington was apparently cracking a whip whilst staffers said to each other 'see what we have to say about her!' excitedly.
Meanwhile, various tanzeems in Pakistan are very excited by the news that his Highness Al Saud has asked for various heads to be chopped off. Many were seen preparing knives and swords for the purpose.
NSN - Leaking it all over Pakistan, First
Nikileaks: NSN reveals contents of secret moral and diplomatic cables from Islamabad
Unknown Location NWFP: Secret cables from the Moral & Diplomatic Service of Pakistan obtained at great personal risk by a secret whistleblower are blowing the lid off Pakistani diplomat's views of various world powers. NSN has obtained several of these secret, top secret, and khatarnak cables and will release them for the betterment of principled stands on democracy and human rights. We have decided to call this 400% indigenous series "Nikileaks". Some excerpts below:
1. Delhi station: "their biriyani is better than ours" unknown staffer in Delhi is reported to have said before being sent to KKH works department for re-education
2. Rawalpindi station: "Red Lips massage services are really great" apparently a reference to extensive personalised contact with Chinese intelligence and relaxation experts
3. Khurram agency: "Americans suspect nothing about the transport convoys"
4. Islamabad agency: "Gilani has itchy hands" - context not fully understood
Nikileaks will bring you more from our field staff over the coming days
NSN - Leaking it Live, Hot and Steaming
Nikileaks Update
NSN brings you more secret cables from the Pakistan Moral and Diplomatic Service obtained at great risk by our reporters
1. Zardari does not take 10%: it has been shown through statistical analysis that for deals < $10M his fee is in fact 12.5% whereas for deals > $10M he charges anywhere between 7.86% and 9.99% depending on how many foriegn trips are thrown in or gifts are supplied for his son
2. Kiyani's dressing room: His Sinister Strangeloveness General Kiyani has a large dressing room with a number of mirrors and walk in wardrobes. Amongst the many uniforms hanging there are Batman outfits
3. Gilani's presents: surveillance shows that PM Gilani has been presented a package by HSS Kiyani. Later humint showed that it contained a Robin outfit, complete with tight green chaddi. It was unclear why there was a hole in the chaddi's rear area
4. Singh seen in dhoti: PM Singh of India was spotted shivering in his dhoti in a narrow dark place on several occaisons by the Pakistani ambassador who declined to be identified to maintain his anonymity
5. Madama Gandhi spotted in sari: rumours about the indianisation of Madame Gandhi appear to be true. She has been spotted wearing a sari in public places
6. Pak ambassador in Delhi: has decided to identify himself to avoid further embarrasment. It appears that he is regularly treated to spanking by dossier in the Indian foreign ministry as a lowly chaprasi
7. Americans suspect nothing: further evidence is pouring in that pakistan's extra smart military and the super sleuths of the ISI and the dedicated servers of the Moral & Diplomatic Corps have managed to convince the Americans that all izz vell
NSN - Hot Leaks Dribbling Daily
Nikileaks update
NSN secret cables moral & diplomatic corps, journalist, secret, danger, blah, blah
Zardari - Kayani wants to take me out - A senior officer of the moral and diplomatic support corps was told by President Zardari that General Kiyani wants to take him out. The President was very concerned because he had not been asked out on a date before, and that too by such a dashing and handsome fauji afsar. Visibly palpitated, the President was seen to be looking through this best clothes and suits to determine what he should wear when the handsome and dashing afsar came a calling to take him out. The president also wondered where the General will be taking him out, what level of expenditure it was likely to incur and whether he should 'put out' on the first date, or hold on a little longer. When consulted, the PM Gilani advised him that he always likes to get his hands-on during the first date and after suitably groping for the way may resort to deeper penetration. The president is said to have taken this advise on board, although insiders suspect that he might play hard to get for a few attempts to keep the General waiting a little longer. Analysts hope that the general's ardour is not diminished.
NSN - nocturnally leaking
Nikileaks Update
NSN - unknown location within ISI HQ Pindi: Our intrepid undercover whistle blower reveals:
1. ISI's in depth sleuthing has found out that
1.a. US Codename for HSS Kiyani is "Bad Boy"
1.b. US Codename for PM Gilani is "Naughty Boy"
1.c US Codename for President Zardari is "Silly Boy"
2. ISI intercepts of secret meeting between Holbroke and HSS Kiyani
Holbroke: "You have been a very bad boy, I have to take steps to ensure that you are punished. Take that you Bad Boy!"
HSS K: "Ouch, ouch, ow... atleast use the [garbled]-line... ow!"
3. ISI intercepts of secret meeting between McChrystal and PM Gilani:
McC: "You are a very naughty boy, you've been caught with your hands on the goodies [possible reference to nuclear assets]"
PM Gilani: "Ya, so... you want some?"
McC: "What?!"
PM Gilani: "I give you good price, she like my sister, I introduce you... good price effendi!"
McC: [garbled]
ISI note: Watch PM Gilani, he may be considering unauthorised sales of special assets
4. ISI intercepts of PM Cameron meeting with President Zardari
C: "Mr President, you really have been a very silly boy indeed!"
Z: "Come come my good fellow, we are men of the world, we can talk business"
C: "I beg your pardon?"
Z: "You scratch my back, I open wider... know what I mean? We are men of the world afterall hain ji?"
C: "Oh! I thought that secret stayed in Eton!"
Z: "Look at this baby... you want some?"
C: [garbled]
Z: "Now... about Bilal..."
C: "Silly boy... put your [garbled] back on!"
ISI Note: review intercept of call between Armitage and Powell from 2004 when he mentions "Bad Boy, Naughty Boy and Silly Boy in same conversation with Pres. Musharraf. Question: have the Americans been planning a deep cover operation with Gilani and Zardari since then?
NSN - Leaking like a sieve
